Respectful Insolence

EneMan defends himself

Doing the random Technorati search, I happened to come across a disturbing statement. Indeed, our intrepid colon cleanser was not pleased when I forwarded this to him:

Eneman, real last name, Fleet, is an illegal immigrant worker.

We know that there are dirty jobs to be done in the world, and the proper ones to do those dirty jobs are aliens (the kind that don’t travel a thousand light years to look up your ass, but very closely related.) Fleet formerly lived on a street in London named after him and decided that that part of London was so personally degrading that he felt it was necessary to stow away in the wheel well of a 747 and make it to Springfield, were he found a job cleaning the crap out of the KWTO studio after the Lawd’s Day callers finish talking to Woot-Woot-Wooten.

Normally showing an almost preternatural cheeriness, given what his mission in life is, EneMan allowed himself a rare moment of anger when confronted with this. “I’ve never done anything illegal in my life,” he glowered. (And it’s truly a scary thing to be confronted by a six foot glowering enema bottle.) “I go out of my way to make sure that my actions are completely above board and legal. Indeed, my sponsor is one of the most highly regulated industries in the nation. Come to think of it, I’ve been here way longer than Orac’s family has, even though he was born here. See how far back I can trace my American ancestry”:

EneMan 200605

Hmmm. EneMan’s got a point. Most of my grandparents came from Eastern Europe through Ellis Island in the early 1900′s, and my family has branches in Poland and Lithuania. And besides, what could be more American than blasting out impacted fecal matter (other than, perhaps making impacted fecal matter)? The Caped Colon Crusader continued:

“And, in any case, I wouldn’t want to bother with idiots like this Wooten that the Critic refers to. I do have standards, you know, and I’m a medical professional, not a janitor. Besides, it sounds as though this Wooten guy dumps plenty of fecal matter all over the airwaves without needing any help from me to loosen him up! If anything, it sounds as though he needs something to stop him up!”

In any case, the post annoyed EneMan to the point where he didn’t do his the takedown of an altie that he had originally planned to do this month. Instead, he decided to showcase yet another of his many accomplishments:

EneMan 200606

Interestingly, the above photo would seem to indicate that EneMan is in actuality French, rather than British. Whatever his nationality, however, I suppose that we can be thankful that he didn’t decide to use this particular technology (hot air) as the means of exercising his primary function in life.

In the meantime, there are plenty of other people in need of EneMan’s services, and he won’t rest until he’s “helped” them all.

As always, a list of the Caped Colon Crusader’s appearances since the very beginning:

Comments

  1. #1 BronzeDog
    June 4, 2006

    I hate it when people resort to genetic fallacies.

  2. #2 dogscratcher
    June 4, 2006

    EneMan:
    “I’ve never done anything illegal in my life,” he glowered. (And it’s truly a scary thing to be confronted by a six foot glowering enema bottle.) “I go out of my way to make sure that my actions are completely above board and legal.”

    But not exactly “upfront.” The route to success for EneMan has certainly been through the backdoor.

  3. #3 Katie
    June 4, 2006

    I would think twice about getting EneMan angry! :)

  4. #4 Ali
    June 5, 2006

    I really don’t want to see how EneMan defends himself.

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