If only it were this simple…

Inspired by the story of the faith healer who claimed that Jesus cured her of a breast cancer she in fact never had and, it turned out, who also claimed that faith had healed her brother of a terminal cancer and covered up the fact that he was dying while promoting her book, here’s a proposed cure for televangelists who claim they can cure disease through the power of prayer:

New York – (Ass Mess): A team of plastic surgeons, clinical psychatrists and orthodontists has patented a radical procedure that cures evangelical preachers from claiming Jesus is more effective at healing cancer than cutting edge medical therapy.

The announcement comes as tele-evangelist Darlene Bishop is sued by her family for claiming the power of prayer cured her brother of terminal throat cancer when the man was patently dead 18 months after rejecting conventional oncological advice.

Now Ms Bishop has been invited to become the first ever official patient in the pioneering surgery being offered to rabid evangelicals whose considerable livelihood depends on convincing followers to part with large sums of cash.

(Read the rest to find out the nature of this procedure.)

My only criticism is that this procedure would not have prevented Darlene Bishop from writing her ridiculous and vile book.


  1. #1 tim gueguen
    January 9, 2007

    This reminds me of Willard Thiessen, a Canadian TV evangelist based out of Winnipeg. A few years ago there were claims going around that people were having their teeth turn to gold on some whim or other of God’s. Thiessen joined the chorus of those claiming their faith in God had caused a gold tooth to appear. Unfortunately Thiessen was soon forced to make an embarrassed recantation when his brother, who was also his dentist, told him he was the one who had guilded Thiessen’s tooth, not God.

  2. #2 Dunc
    January 10, 2007

    Personally I think that a good, old-fashioned icepick lobotomy would be a more effective treatment strategy…

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