The Stupidest Things Ever Said, Number 1

One of my favorite calendars it The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said. Each day, this gem of a calendar provides me with examples of idiotic statements that are truly jaw-dropping. Every so often, when I’m in the mood, I think I’ll quote from past editions for your amusement. Today’s stupid quote originally appeared on the calendar back to April 1999 (I’ve been buying this calendar a long time). It was so monumentally stupid that I actually saved the sheet from the date. The quote comes from an advertisement in the Pittsburgh Press, c. 1954:

The [hydrogen] bomb’s brilliant gleam reminds me of the brilliant shine Gleam gives to floors. It’s a science marvel.

Nothing like comparing your product to the instrument of thermonuclear holocaust. Even better, it’s done in a totally nonironic, gee-whiz sort of way. Man, I’d love to see the illustration associated with that ad.


  1. #1 john
    March 12, 2007

    This picture ( shows that the product is called ‘Beacon Wax’, not Gleam, and the illustration’s nothing special.

  2. #2 Richard
    March 12, 2007

    Where can I find that calendar? I say something stupid probably every day.

  3. #3 Jeff Hebert
    March 12, 2007

    Talk about tough on dirt. Youza!

  4. #4 John McKay
    March 12, 2007

    I think Gleam was a toothpaste brand.

  5. #5 csrster
    March 13, 2007

    The most inaccurate remark I ever read on the internet was in a usenet sports’ discussion:
    “Nobody in Asia is interested in cricket”.

    Since there are approximately a billion cricket fans in India/Pakistan/Bangladesh combined, that
    sentence is actually about 100 times more inaccurate than outright holocaust denial.

  6. #6 blf
    March 13, 2007

    The population would be around a billion, but that doesn’t mean all (or even a majority) are fans.

    Nonetheless, I do agree, that is an amazingly stupid claim.

  7. #7 KeithB
    March 13, 2007

    I am not sure this is going to come out right but…
    If you look at your floor in the glare of the H-Bomb it might be a little difficult to remove the spot caused by your shadow – not that you’d care.

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