As a male, this bit of woo from Serbia causes me pain just to contemplate it. I’m not sure if it’s true or not because–well–I have a hard time believing that anybody can be this stupid. It has the whiff of urban legend about it. However, one underestimates the stupidity of men in their quest to solve sexual problems; so it’s possible that this is true. Just don’t tell Bora; I don’t know if he could stand that this happened in Serbia, if it actually happened:
A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman’s advice, viz: have sex with a hedgehog.
You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: “The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis.”
Ouch! But it gets even “better”:
We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors this morning for a comment. He told us: “This demonstrates the dangers in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved practitioners.”
“Consulting an unlicensed witchdoctors”? They actually license witchdoctors in Serbia? And I thought the acceptance of woo was out of hand right here in the good ol’ USA. Actually, to me I see no difference between “licensed” or “unlicensed” witchdoctors. It’s all woo.
Of course, if you’re having trouble with premature ejaculation, the “licensed” witchdoctors have a remedy for you:
On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: “Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by toad skulls. Then, when you’re on the job, think about the mother-in-law and filling in tax returns.”
If he means the energy drink Red Bull, then I see great potential for a fantastic advertising campaign.