Respectful Insolence

You knew it was coming…

Ask yourself this: What do the convicted do, either in prison or when facing prison?

They find Jesus, of course:

i-683b97d19115e513ed45a71ad9c93bb1-parishiltonwithbible.jpg

It’s inevitable any time anyone’s going to jail, it seems. My prediction for Paris’ next stop: Kabbalah! It would, however, be even more amusing if she were to convert to Islam while in prison.

Comments

  1. #1 Gary Anderson
    May 23, 2007

    Isn’t that Bible a Gideon’s hotel edition?? Too funny!

  2. #2 TomDunlap
    May 23, 2007

    Notice how the books are arranged so you can clearly see both titles? Is that a call for help?

  3. #3 Robster, FCD
    May 23, 2007

    She would do better if she had found Doctor Who.

  4. #4 Scott Simmons
    May 23, 2007

    “Notice how the books are arranged so you can clearly see both titles? Is that a call for help?”

    What? When you carry more than one book, don’t you stagger them so anybody can see what books you have? I mean, who would just carry them in a neat stack?

  5. #5 Blake Stacey
    May 23, 2007

    If she’d instead chosen a dangling cigarette and Carl Sagan’s The Varieties of Scientific Experience, she could have been Kirsten Dunst.

  6. #6 Carlie
    May 23, 2007

    It must have taken her awhile to find one in just the right shade of gold.

  7. #7 pelican
    May 23, 2007

    This is outside my area of expertise, but could it be photoshopped?

    Kabbalah, I could see- Paris definitely would lock lips with Madonna.

  8. #8 Camel Walk
    May 23, 2007

    No way that was a photochop. Spin all the way. Now a pic of her holding some Valtrex… well, that would probably be real too.

  9. #9 Ahistoricality
    May 24, 2007

    “The Power of Now” isn’t really Christian, as I understand it; it actually draws strongly on a melange of Asian traditions… woo hash.

  10. #10 Paul Power
    May 24, 2007

    Everyone should read the article “PARIS HILTON HOPES TO FIND GOD IN JAIL; NOT SURE WHAT CELL HE’S IN”
    at http://datelinehollywood.com/archives/2007/05/07/paris-hopes-to-find-god-in-jail-not-sure-what-he-looks-like/.

    It appeared a couple of weeks ago. There’s a follow-up about “conjugal visits” but when I asked my mother what that means she said I was too young to know.

  11. #11 Ex-drone
    May 24, 2007

    It would … be even more amusing if she were to convert to Islam

    Paris-X.

  12. #12 Justin Moretti
    May 24, 2007

    It would, however, be even more amusing if she were to convert to Islam while in prison. If she does that, why shouldn’t she go all the way, and become one of the 72 houris who will service Osama bin Laden in the afterlife? ;-)

  13. #13 Paul A
    May 24, 2007

    If ever there was a celeb asking to be beamed up to the Scientology mothership for conversion into a Borg-esque drone it’s her. Mind you I think even Hubbard’s goon squad have an IQ requirement (i.e. it must be a positive number)

    Just imagine Cruise, Travolta, et al abandoning ship in droves if that ever happened :-)

    Oh, and Blake Stacey – the Dunst is now confirmed as one of the coolest women in Hollywood…

  14. #14 Lancelot Gobbo
    May 24, 2007

    Think she can read? Or were the books chosen by her people?

  15. #15 Thursday
    May 25, 2007

    Come on, people! Look at the size of those things! It’s not like she’s going to read them.

    She’s bringing them with her in case the weight room is occupied when she goes to work out.

    She’ll be coming out of there with pipes, man! And at least three new tattoos.

  16. #16 Candice
    May 25, 2007

    I saw pictures of her today browsing a Buddhist bookstore. Pathetically, her plan will probably work.

  17. #17 Alan Kellogg
    May 27, 2007

    i have to ask, what’s going on with Jesus? I mean, He keeps getting lost. Why else would anyone need to find Him? At 2,011+ years of age He needs to be assessed for age related dementia, possibly Alzheimers.

    If it is Alzheimers one has to ask, is it possible to be omniscient and suffer from memory loss? Is it Alzheimers when you know what you’ve forgetten?

  18. #18 ArtK
    May 27, 2007

    It would, however, be even more amusing if she were to convert to Islam while in prison. If she does that, why shouldn’t she go all the way, and become one of the 72 houris who will service Osama bin Laden in the afterlife? ;-)

    Somehow I think that she’s missing one of the primary requisites for that particular job…