Respectful Insolence

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Earlier this week, I deconstructed a truly inane article on Mike Adams NewsTarget website espousing dangerous cancer quackery, with claims that herbal concoctions alone could “naturally heal” cancer. Such a claim wouldn’t have attracted bringing the hammer of Respectful Insolence™ down if there had been some actual evidence presented that this healer could do what she claimed she could do. Unfortunately, as is the case with virtually all such claims, there was none, just a complicated regimen involving four or five different herbal brews involving a total of around 40 different plants and herbs, each of which had a claim that it could do something like “dissolve kidney stones” (although why you would need to treat a cancer patient for kidney stones unless he actually–oh–had kidney stones escapes me). Coupled with this was an almost medieval understanding of cancer in which “poor blood” not in “optimal condition” is the cause of cancer and “purifying” the blood is the cure.

Just for laughs, I Googled the name of this herbalist, Leslee Dru Browning, to see if she had a website. Sure enough, she does. And what a doozy of a website it is, too! In fact, after perusing it for just a little while, I knew I had exactly what I needed.

A new target–I mean “subject”–for this week’s Your Friday Dose of Woo.

Yes, it appears that not only is Ms. Browning an herbalist with delusions of being able to cure cancer, but she’s an astral traveler as well. Not only is she an astral traveler, but she’s an Astral Traveler to the Inner Earth, which sounds so much more impressive than being just an astral traveler. Indeed, this Astral Traveler to the Inner Earth invites you on a “sacred journey”:

Come see the places beneath the ground and into the Hollow Earth, through the eyes of veteran Astral Traveler Leslee Dru Browning.  Join her as she focuses and dives into hidden areas deep beneath the Earth’s surface where large caverns, wondrous cities, magnetic persons, and incredible inner landscapes exist!

Cool! Let’s go! But first, we’d better learn to astral travel. Personally, I always thought that astral projection was something that only Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, and various other fictional sorcerers did. Boy, was I wrong. Just let Leslee tell you how to learn to astral travel through dreaming:

In the many years I have taught astral traveling, I find the main reason people never experience astral traveling is due to fear. Fear that they will be harmed, fear of not returning, fear of encountering spiritual battles, fear of losing their mind, or fear that someone can take control of their bodies while they are traveling. These are very valid fears. I teach astral travel like I would teach a child to walk, in baby steps. Have patience and learn slowly, have faith, and only try it when you are ready and at peace with the whole idea that you just may be able to fly. I highly recommend when you first begin astral traveling that you have a lifeline, a person you trust who will sit quietly with you, and watch over you in case you begin to panic. This person will be able to assist in guiding you back home if you need help. If you take it slow, you will lose your fear.

From my perspective, “beginning to panic” is probably just a Nightmare. Or perhaps this fear is simply a very real fear that the person you ask to sit quietly with you and watch over you will think that you’ve totally lost your mind. Of course, another source of fear of astral traveling should be well known to Doctor Strange fans. Recall that, whenver Doctor Strange leaves his body to enter the astral plane, be it to gather information, spy, or to do battle with other astral beings, invariably one of the baddies takes the opportunity to try to kill his sleeping body. And we all know that, if the body is killed while the soul is wandering around in the astral plane, that the soul will be forever trapped in the astral plane to wander forever, powerless, eventually dying itself. Also, if I recall my classic comics correctly, if the soul is too long outside the body, the body will also die and the soul will be trapped, which is what Strange’s arch enemy Baron Mordo is trying to accomplish here:

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Wow. That is pretty scary stuff!

Perhaps the most useful thing that Ms. Browning teaches me, however, is that everyone astral travels in dreams “Déjà Vu” (which she inexplicably spells as “De-Ja Vu”) is nothing more than the memory of a dream of the future that we’ve had. How profound. Of course, as with seemingly all woo, it comes down to vibration, as a description of how to astral travel while awake states. After first describing a method of becoming completely relaxed, Browning informs us:

Now that your are completely relaxed and unaware of your body you will enter a state of vibration. This is the most important part of astral traveling because everything is a vibration. You may feel mild tingling, or electrical sensations, or a shooting of energy through your crown chakra. This is where you will begin to leave your body.

Begin with just allowing a little separation of yourself emerge from your crown chakra. You need to be able to control your vibrational state. Practice by allowing some energy to flow out of your crown, then bring it back in and push it down to your toes. Practice doing this -energy in, energy out, until you feel you can master and control your spiritual body. Once you have learned to control this vibrational state, you will be ready to leave your body entirely and astral travel with complete confidence that you are in control, and can return back into your body whenever you so desire.

Or maybe you just become so “relaxed” that you fall asleep and start dreaming. Sorry, that’s just the old nasty skeptic in me speaking. Pardon my lack of credulity. What is it with woos and “vibration” or “frequencies,” though? To them, everything is vibration. It’s tempting to point out to Browning that there are devices to “control your vibrational state,” in quite a stimulating manner without an appeal to chakras and mega-woo.

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So what can you do with this newfound skill of astral traveling. Well, if you’re Leslee Dru Browning, you can do all sorts of things. First off, did you know that THE VATICAN does not want you to know that PARADISE exists beneath your FEET? That’s what Browning tells us, anyway, using exactly that capitalization. To prove it, she recounts a tale of traveling below Vatican City, where, not surprisingly if your woo is strong, she met the spirit of St. Peter:

I find his spirit warm and good. He is honest and tells me he was once a rebel, that his faith had been tested many times, and many times he failed those tests. But in the end, his love was for God. He tells me those in the Church holding high power are not upholding the simple teachings of Jesus, but instead, are playing a dangerous game with the world. His spirit is angry that the Church holds the common people in such disregard. St. Peter’s spirit touches whoever he is able, he wants the blood of the Church washed forever from his hands, and I can see his spirit move among those who visit here.
 
Listening to St. Peter while standing on Vatican soil I can smell old blood, power, murder, theft, secrets held in the shade and hidden in the shadows of the Church’s walls, tunnels, secret rooms and inner chambers. St. Peter will now guide me into the Sistine Chapel.

Through her journeys, she learns the “truth” about the Catholic Church straight from the horse’s mouth itself. Yes, the Sistine Chapel itself speaks to her and tells it to her:

I am being shown the seat of Rome was once the main hub for implementing the NWO [Orac's note: Yes, that's "New World Order," all you conspiracy buffs out there!], but now the bulk of the manipulation and power of the NWO has been transferred to England. The Royal Family, and most of England, also worships in the Church. Yes, strong ties between the two. Great Britain, which is the agent for the Pope, is in charge of what I will call the US “cultivation”. I am hearing that the so called founding fathers and King George were working together to bring down America, to install a Central Government over America, and to bind them to a debt that could not be repaid. With the year of 1773 and 1776 being shown me, I see that the Church has had its mark on America since the beginning of its birth. I do not see Queen Elizabeth II  as a big player in this, yes, she has blood on her hands, but this hierarchy is male dominated and she is used willingly as a pawn.

Little did I know during my recent trip to London that I had entered the belly of the Beast itself. But, wait, there’s more:

The Church, now being corrupt, has infiltrated most of the world. But, it has not been able to infiltrate Eastern Religions and Philosophies. I am told that this was the real reason behind the Viet Nam War, the reason for the Kennedy assassination. The NWO needed that war to begin their move into Asian Countries, and they would do it by slowly implementing false Christian Doctrine. In the name of world peace they wanted to bring down their opposition, in which they have not yet been completely successful.

Freemasons, which actually make up the Illuminati, along with those of the Vatican City and the Reptilians, are all key players in the hierarchy of the Church. The face of Bush shown in the fog indeed verifies the sense that I have had since 1994 that he would be the Millenium President of the US. He was hand picked for the position, as most presidents were. I am also told the next Pope will be the Black Pope, this Pope will carry pure evil in his heart.

Browning wrote this in July 2001, when Pope John Paul II was still in charge. That would mean…that would mean…oh, no! Pope Benedict XVI must be the Black Pope! We’re doomed! And we are! Just listen to Browning for more:

The Church’s hand has been deep in developing communism, and many treasures were taken from the Jewish People during the reign of Hitler. I also am being shown that Cuba is a secret and will never be touched. I see Castro, Bush, and Hussein – all friends, playing a pretend game of battle in front of the media for the entire world to view, and be brainwashed into thinking these heads of countries do not work together, when indeed their end goal is the same…

I will say as a final culmination to this part of my astral report that I both see and sense there were some here who were here in the past, and some who are still here, who are not of this earth. Reptilian beings, initially ordered Rome to act as a portal in and out of earth for those from other parts of the galaxy. Rome, Italy was not chosen for the land, but for the great bodies of water that surround it. For having a Sea on both sides of it, for the rivers, and tributaries, which allowed for the constructions of underground waterway tunnels that moved beneath Rome.

Woo-hoo! We’re heading into David Icke territory! Only the finest and most off-the-wall conspiracy woo starts invoking “reptilian” beings as part of the grand conspiracy to control humanity through the New World Order. But it gets better than that. Apparently, Browning also believes in the Hollow Earth. Unfortunately, the link on her Astral Project page to her reported journey to the Hollow Earth is broken, as are her tales of astral travel to Skiros in the Aegean Sea and the hollow Moon. (Maybe it’s a test and you have to be able to astral travel to follow those links.)

But there’s one final test of Browning’s woo-foo? Is it stronger than the woo-foo of other woo-meisters? What better way to tell than to see her predictions made in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, specifically on or about September 18, 2001. But first, post hoc, she has to try to demonstrate that she actually had had a vision predicting 9/11:

Roughly a week or so before the WTC atrocity I was told that the “green pools” held the key.–they were the connection. Also, Canteen. This was all written in a “A Visitor Arrives” which many had access to before September 11, 2001.

I wondered about canteen, and knew in France it meant a wine cellar, so I was thinking a city in France, but have now decided Sauniere in his visit with me meant exactly what he said–canteens are stores on military bases, are clubs for soldiers, and are temporary emergency eating places–like in times of war or disasters.

At first I thought the “green pools” were actual water pools that were vortex’s to other worlds, openings if you will. And they are, but who wants to control these entrances into other dimensions? So, I looked for a second meaning for “Green Pools”—

Green is the color of money in the US, and of course, the WTC housed many financial brokers.

Pools: Pool for gambling. Also, a mutual fund established by a group of stockholders for specializing in or manipulating prices of securities.

And, an agreement between competing businesses concerns to establish controls over producing market and price for common profit.

All fits together nicely>> Pool >>Funds>>Stakes >>Target

The Green Pools were the WTC–the symbol of world finance, which is controlled and manipulated by a handful of powerful elite.

Wow! I’m, like, totally convinced. How about you. And now for two of Browning’s predictions, one made on September 18, 2001, the other made on September 19, 2001:

I believe these terrorists will go after the computer systems next. They will begin with releasing various virus’s to infect and crash  home systems and business systems. people need to be very careful about opening emails. This would be very easy to do now with everyone opening lots of mail from unknown people to read about this current situation we are in. I warn all people to be ultra cautious and not to open any mail from anyone whom they may be unfamiliar with, I would recommend AVG Anti-Virus System which can be downloaded free.

It updates for every new virus.

For those of you citizens who are spared the virus’s, watch what you write, as all email is now being monitored in the US. I have an alarm system on my computer and yesterday alone I have over 350 “hit’ by intruders wanting in my system, so, with this information, I can say, it has begun.

Hmmm. That one doesn’t sound as though it happened. Or maybe 2001 was the year when Browning discovered spam. Either way, here’s a hint for you, Leslee. In a real cyber attack, antivirus software is unlikely to help you much. Maybe you should just wrap your computer in tinfoil to protect it against computer control rays. It’ll do just as much good.

Now let’s look at Leslee’s second prediction:

The next attack from terrorists may come between the 18th and 25th of this month. The strongest of those dates are the 23rd, the 22nd. The attack may be subtle, or overt. I would suggest drinking bottled water since my visions keep showing me water. A subtle attack would be where the water system is tampered with, or biological agents are released in the air. These are extremely subtle as they can take time to cause the effect to the human body, manifesting early is extremely sensitive people, yet may take months or even years like the Gulf War Syndrome.

Now that‘s more like it! A totally unfalsifiable prediction! She could easily point to the illnesses that WTC rescue workers have manifested in recent times as fulfillment of her prediction. Or any number of other problems. Or, in the worst case scenario (for her), she could still claim that the “subtle attack” that happened on September 23, 2001 just hasn’t manifested its results yet. That’s much better. Never make a prediction that can be proven to be unequivocally erroneous, I say! Of course, if an attack is so subtle that no one notices, it sure doesn’t do much for the terrorists who execute it, does it?

As is my wont, it appears that I’ve let this week’s edition of YFDoW become rather long (more like long-winded). Consequently, I think I’ll take what I’ve learned from Leslee Dru Browning, namely that you can cure cancer with herbs, that astral traveling is fun, and that the Catholic Church is controlled by David Icke-inspired Reptilians helping to bring about some unspecified New World Order for purposes that mere humans cannot fathom, and build on it by heading on over to the astral hollow.

If I don’t make it back, you’ll know that either Baron Mordo, the Dread Dormammu, or maybe Nightmare got me.

Comments

  1. #1 Thony C.
    September 14, 2007

    Shit! Leslee Dru (love the spelling!) Browning doesn’t even write good fiction. I think I’ll stick to Doc Strange, it’s more entertaining!

  2. #2 Christophe Thill
    September 14, 2007

    Rome has “the Sea on both sides”? Hmm, funny it doesn’t appear on maps. The sea is on one side only, and it’s quite a few kilometers away.

    “I wondered about canteen, and knew in France it meant a wine cellar”

    No, it doesn’t…

    “, so I was thinking a city in France, but have now decided Sauniere in his visit with me”

    Good old Béranger Saunière, abbott of Rennes-le-Château, he of the mysterious (and very likely non-existing) treasure! Glad to see he’s still around, after approximately one century of being dead! How’s he doing?

    “meant exactly what he said–canteens are stores on military bases, are clubs for soldiers, and are temporary emergency eating places–like in times of war or disasters.”

    Perhaps in American English? But in French a “cantine” is either your school’s or company’s cafeteria, where you can have lunch, or a big metal chest for travelling. Saunière must have spent too much time in the astral plane: he doesn’t seem to know his mother tongue any more…

  3. #3 Bing McGhandi
    September 14, 2007

    Ah, fun stuff! These people are fascinating. I am currently teaching an intro to college writing/research/argument class around the subject of woo. Oh, it’s so interesting. We did alien abductees last week. The roots of these beliefs are so mundane–everyday experiences but somehow magnified. Or perhaps a single, temporary psychological deficit that is grossly misinterpreted. This week, we do Holocaust deniers and the nature of evidence–maybe look at what counts as evidence for Ghost Hunters.

    Great post. I’m glad that I can pick up the RSS feed here on my interstellar Wi-Fi!

    HJ

  4. #4 Warren
    September 14, 2007

    Coupled with this was an almost medieval understanding of cancer in which “poor blood” not in “optimal condition” is the cause of cancer and “purifying” the blood is the cure.

    You realize, don’t you, that it’s only a matter of time before someone suggests curing cancer using herbally-cleansed leeches.

  5. #5 Harry
    September 14, 2007

    One reason why it’s all about “vibrations” and “frequencies” with woo-meisters:

    I had a temporary roommate once who was a trucker who was totally into auras and astral projection and that ilk. He knew I was getting my PhD in materials science, so he was excited about getting to talk to a real scientist about “his” theories (i.e., the quack theories he read about) to flush out the proper scientific terminology.

    As always, it went back to quantum theory. The apostles of woo hear about wave-particle duality and combine that with knowing light has different frequencies. Since a particle has an associated deBroglie wavelength (and thus a frequency), they say that deep down everything is made of waves. Here’s where the problem arises: they then link electromagnetic waves to sound waves, and since sound waves require vibrations, they say that we are all vibrations. I tried to explain to him that sound was phenomenologically different from light, but he stopped listening. At that point, I just became another part of the conspiracy to keep the truth from the people.

    Side-note: To prove his ability to see at a distance, he gave me a special box that he could supposedly psychically focus on really well. I would put something in the box, and he would call me when he was on the road and try to describe to me what was in the box. He never guessed it was a purple and yellow plastic replica of a Vespa motor scooter! To his credit, even with the myriad of opportunities he had to look in the box when I wasn’t in the apartment, he apparently never did. He thus kept honestly getting it wrong, all the while truly believing he had this ability!

  6. #6 Harry
    September 14, 2007

    One reason why it’s all about “vibrations” and “frequencies” with woo-meisters:

    I had a temporary roommate once who was a trucker who was totally into auras and astral projection and that ilk. He knew I was getting my PhD in materials science, so he was excited about getting to talk to a real scientist about “his” theories (i.e., the quack theories he read about) to flush out the proper scientific terminology.

    As always, it went back to quantum theory. The apostles of woo hear about wave-particle duality and combine that with knowing light has different frequencies. Since a particle has an associated deBroglie wavelength (and thus a frequency), they say that deep down everything is made of waves. Here’s where the problem arises: they then link electromagnetic waves to sound waves, and since sound waves require vibrations, they say that we are all vibrations. I tried to explain to him that sound was phenomenologically different from light, but he stopped listening. At that point, I just became another part of the conspiracy to keep the truth from the people.

    Side-note: To prove his ability to see at a distance, he gave me a special box that he could supposedly psychically focus on really well. I would put something in the box, and he would call me when he was on the road and try to describe to me what was in the box. He never guessed it was a purple and yellow plastic replica of a Vespa motor scooter! To his credit, even with the myriad of opportunities he had to look in the box when I wasn’t in the apartment, he apparently never did. He thus kept honestly getting it wrong, all the while truly believing he had this ability!

  7. #7 SteveM
    September 14, 2007

    I was particularly amused by the argument that “The NWO needed [the vietnam] war to begin their move into Asian Countries…” I seem to recall the British Empire (already part of the NWO, by her theory) had “moved into” Asia pretty thoroughly a century before.

  8. #8 ancientTechie
    September 14, 2007

    This is an overdose of woo, Orac: you may have damaged our brains. Might as well watch Oprah…

  9. #9 Drugmonkey
    September 14, 2007

    Dang, and here I was hoping you were going to take on the Alex-the-wonder-pigeon woo that is wandering amongst your Sciblings this week…

  10. #10 fusilier
    September 14, 2007

    Ahh, the Hollow Earth. David Innes and Dian the Beautiful. Pellucidar the inner world with more land surface than the outer world, since the land and oceans are interchanged.

    (Well, Edgar Rice Burroughs made it fun! The Golden Age of Science fiction is 11 or 12)

  11. #11 Wendy
    September 14, 2007

    So, um, isn’t the Queen the head of the Church of England? And wasn’t this established by Henry VIII when he wanted a divorce? I mean, how does the Catholic church control England?
    My brain is bleeding.

  12. #12 Chemgeek
    September 14, 2007

    At what point does one make a diagnosis of mental illness. Seriously. Sometimes the woo-meisters are con-men and con-women, but this (and others like it) make it seem like a serious neurological disorder is involved.

    It’s almost sad.

  13. #13 Coin
    September 14, 2007

    …with claims that herbal concoctions alone could “naturally heal” cancer. Such a claim wouldn’t have attracted bringing the hammer of Respectful Insolence™ down if there had been some actual evidence presented that this healer could do what she claimed she could do…

    I suppose that if it did turn out some form of herbal chemotherapy existed, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise. After all, there are plenty of herbal poisons…

  14. #14 Sastra
    September 14, 2007

    Er … exactly what “herbs” has this herbalist been taking?

  15. #15 Melissa G
    September 14, 2007

    Chemgeek said:

    “At what point does one make a diagnosis of mental illness. Seriously. Sometimes the woo-meisters are con-men and con-women, but this (and others like it) make it seem like a serious neurological disorder is involved.”

    I wish I knew the answer to that. A lonnnnnnng time ago I once babysat for a lady I knew through work, and at the end of the evening she told me at great length how she was from Orion. (Yes, the ENTIRE constellation, apparently.) A psychic had told her so, therefore she knew it was true.

  16. #16 Sastra
    September 14, 2007

    I once read a book on religious belief written by a psychologist who had lived for a while in Africa. A tribe had brought a woman to him for treatment, because they were concerned that she had gone mad. She was hearing voices and having visions.

    But in the particular religion of this African tribe, most of the members would hear voices and have visions, it was an accepted part of the belief system. He asked “so why do you think she’s crazy, since you all hear voices from people who aren’t really there?”

    He was told “she is hearing them at the wrong times.”

    I’m not a psychologist, but if Leslee Dru Browning is an accepted part of a whole group of people who believe and culturally reinforce the reality of astral projection, then I would guess that the odds of her being actually schizophrenic go down. If she is nuts, though, being a member of such a community may succeed in hiding it for a while, but sooner or later she’d probably become so erratic they’d get suspicious. That, or she’d start off a whole new religion.

  17. #17 Mike O'Risal
    September 14, 2007

    I would suggest drinking bottled water since my visions keep showing me water.

    That’s an amazing bit of perception on her part! Her visions kept showing her water, and then somebody took a well-deserved piss on them.

    I wonder… has anyone ever mentioned to the Woo-masters that the more relaxed something is the less it vibrates? Everything but Woo-masters, apparently…

  18. #18 Mike O'Risal
    September 14, 2007

    I would suggest drinking bottled water since my visions keep showing me water.

    That’s an amazing bit of perception on her part! Her visions kept showing her water, and then somebody took a well-deserved piss on them.

    I wonder… has anyone ever mentioned to the Woo-masters that the more relaxed something is the less it vibrates? Everything but Woo-masters, apparently…

  19. #19 Lepht
    September 14, 2007

    i swear, if i hear one more moron imply that Freemasons are trying to implement a new world fucking order, i’m gonna beat them over the head with a hammer until they stop making noise.

    to the commenter asking what herb it is this woman is on: clearly, it is the one pronounced most commonly as “de herrrb”.

    L

  20. #20 Mike O'Risal
    September 14, 2007

    I would suggest drinking bottled water since my visions keep showing me water.

    That’s an amazing bit of perception on her part! Her visions kept showing her water, and then somebody took a well-deserved piss on them.

    I wonder… has anyone ever mentioned to the Woo-masters that the more relaxed something is the less it vibrates? Everything but Woo-masters, apparently…

  21. #21 Mike O'Risal
    September 14, 2007

    I would suggest drinking bottled water since my visions keep showing me water.

    That’s an amazing bit of perception on her part! Her visions kept showing her water, and then somebody took a well-deserved piss on them.

    I wonder… has anyone ever mentioned to the Woo-masters that the more relaxed something is the less it vibrates? Everything but Woo-masters, apparently…

  22. #22 Marcus Ranum
    September 14, 2007

    I checked out her site and I have to say it’s one of the most amateurish web presences I’ve ever seen. I wonder if they have a homeopathic cure for “too many compression artifacts on your banner logo” or a charged crystal of +5 good taste.

  23. #23 Marcus Ranum
    September 14, 2007

    I wondered about canteen, and knew in France it meant a wine cellar

    Sorry, “cave” is a wine cellar in French. A “canteen” is an informal restaurant/deli; it’s the exact English word.

  24. #24 ebohlman
    September 15, 2007

    Sastra: Jeffrey Victor’s Satanic Panic contains a good description of the difference between true psychotic delusions and communally reinforced irrational beliefs (what I call CRIBs). It’s pretty much as you described it; if someone is actually psychotic, they’re going to “perceive” things that nobody around them (with the possible exception of one other person in folie a deux) can, whereas CRIBs are typically shared with quite a few other people.

    I strongly suspect that CRIBs arise because our ideations tend to “wander off” without socially-administered checks and balances; put people in a “no invalidation allowed” environment and they’ll rather quickly come up with truly bizarre beliefs. I think it’s really the same phenomenon as “believing your own press,” just more exaggerated.