Oh, no.

I don’t know how they got it. I don’t know where they got it. But somehow, they got it. Somehow, those advocates of the idea that mercury in vaccines causes autism have gotten a hold of the white paper telling how big pharma fooled everyone about the real mercury content of vaccines!

It’s a veritable smoking gun! How could our Big Pharma and CDC paymasters have allowed this to happen? Even worse, our plans for using D2O to stabilize vaccines have been exposed! Someone will pay for this. The super-secret vaccine police are now questioning every operative, threatening to pump them up with thimerosal-, formaldehyde-, and antifreeze-laden vaccines if they do not talk. The mole will be discovered. His or her penalty will be to be dipped in the vat of toxic chemicals used to make vaccines, reducing him or her to looking like the toxic waste dude near the end of Robocop.

Alas, there appears to be a German contingent to this conspiracy, and I cannot understand a further explanation of the paper linked to above. Can anyone help me out?

ADDENDUM: I find it amazing that apparently my modest blog has caused bandwith issues for the link to the evidence above. Fortunately, a source with greater bandwith has been provided.


  1. #1 Craig Willoughby
    July 17, 2008

    Orac, both of those links are dead.

  2. #2 Craig Willoughby
    July 17, 2008

    Nevermind, looks like its a site problem. I’ll try again later

  3. #3 Beowulff
    July 17, 2008

    Oh dear, you’re post has only been up for 40 minutes, and we’ve already killed the German GeoCities server? It claims maintenance or capacity issues. It’s not likely to be maintenance, not at 15:40 local time, so I think there may have been a small stampede already…

  4. #4 Beowulff
    July 17, 2008

    *your post (uze the prefiew, darnit)

  5. #5 D. C. Sessions
    July 17, 2008
  6. #6 Heinrich
    July 17, 2008

    I’ll translate your ‘further explanation link:
    The Banner: ‘Attention- Humour

    The Thiomersal Fake:

    {Welcome} First of all – There are no vaccines with radioactive Thiomersal from toxic waste!
    This is only a fake, a urban legend, a protest against gullibility. I know it because I made it all up.
    If you are interested in the details of the background, you will find links to the history, the fake itself, a log of the records, and my conclusions – with a few linked pages (poor german here, but I think that’s what he wanted to say), but also serious information.
    You won’t find any links to websites I’m criticizing here, as I don’t want to expose the responsible people personally, and I don’t want to offer them more publicity.’

  7. #7 PlanetaryGear
    July 17, 2008


    Sometimes parody is the only proper response to put an idea in it’s proper place.

    Unfortunately, I’ll bet that the protocols of zion were also written as a joke at some point.

    I’m going to keep reloading whale.to till they quote this as an actual document! Then I’m going to laugh and laugh until I can’t breathe.

  8. #8 Orac
    July 17, 2008

    Actually, I was half-tempted to e-mail this smoking gun to Steve Wilson of WXYZ-TV and then laugh as he did a “expose” on it. 🙂

  9. #9 Regan
    July 17, 2008

    First thought on reading was, “spoof”, which seems to have some corroboration.

    I am not overly amused because I would not be surprised to see this circulate around sometime soon with statements of currency. There’s already enough trouble sorting the wheat from the chaff.

  10. #10 Hey Zeus is my Homeboy
    July 17, 2008

    Re: wheat and chaff

    The fact that the rabid, nonthinking lemmings on EoH and Yahoo! ABMD boards can’t distinguish reality from fantasy shouldn’t bar the other 99.9999% of humanity from having a laugh at their expense.

    Isn’t that what Jesus would do?

    Although I do feel sorry for their kids.

  11. #11 Catherina
    July 17, 2008

    This spoof was launched in 2005 – I would be surprised if it took off now.

  12. #12 D. C. Sessions
    July 17, 2008

    This spoof was launched in 2005 – I would be surprised if it took off now.

    Homeopathy was started as a prank over 200 years ago. The marks still haven’t tripped to the joke.

    The great thing about woo is that nothing is too outrageous for true woo-lovers to swallow.

  13. #13 Catherina
    July 17, 2008


    I know – I was there when that thing was launched and they swallowed hook, line, sinker, rod and hand and would not let go…

  14. #14 Patrick
    July 17, 2008

    /sniffs around. I’m not sure if thats the gunpowder or the rotting commenter I am catching a whiff of, but something sure does reek close around this posting.

  15. #15 Martin
    July 17, 2008

    I’d be happy to help you out with translation of German… BUT the site is gone 503-temporarily unavailable… hey, what is that, I cannot read Respectful Ins———CARRIER LOST

  16. #16 D. C. Sessions
    July 17, 2008

    I know – I was there when that thing was launched and they swallowed hook, line, sinker, rod and hand and would not let go…

    You were there when Hahnemann launched his hoax? Lady, I am in awe!

  17. #17 Shay
    July 17, 2008

    Translation of first para: “First of all, there are no vaccines (Impstoffe) that are made of malicious, radioactive thimerosal derived from hazardous waste (Giftmuell)…this is a fake, an Urban Legend, a protest against gullibility (Leichtglauebigkeit). I should know, because I made the whole thing up.”

    VERY rough translation, my Deutsch isn’t what it used to be.

  18. #18 DLC
    July 17, 2008

    Oh sure, they put it out now that it’s all a joke.
    You know they’re just trying to cover their backsides!
    And when the Troof comes out, you’ll all be sorry!
    [insert obligatory whale.to cite here.]

  19. #19 sophia8
    July 18, 2008

    Unfortunately, I’ll bet that the protocols of zion were also written as a joke at some point.
    You’re pretty much right! What became the basis of the Protocols was originally part of a 19thC French satire on power; it didn’t mention the Jews.
    Haven’t got time to post links, but you’ll probably find more on Wikipedia.

  20. #20 Thomas Xavier
    July 18, 2008


    Hopefully my little hoax has not made you any troubles. I revealed the truth one week after I mailed the fake pdf to http://www.impfkritik.de, where Hans Tolzin became an all-too-eager victim of my phantasy. I thought thats enough to kill it, I did not want to harm anybody. It is amazing the thing still circulates on the Internet. If there is any doubt as whether the thing is a hoax, there is a picture on the site showing the “detector protection cap” to actually be my good old coffee mug. If you need any translations or have questions, feel free to email me.

  21. #21 Dr Aust
    July 18, 2008


    Wie die Franzosen sagen: Chapeau!

    You (or maybe someone else) should really translate the whole site (esp. the “historical log” pages) into English, given the susceptibility of the English language world (US and UK especially) to the idiotic anti-vaccine conspiracists. It is a great story, which I hadn’t come across before, and shows just how “biddable” (ready to believe anything that fits their twisted worldview) these people are. As such, it should be online permanently as a cautionary tale to be read by everyone, and especially by all the idiotic journalists and TV personalities that have helped promote the anti-vaccine scares.

    I especially like the idea that once they heard they had been hoaxed, they started trying to sue people for pointing out to them that it was a hoax. Unbelievable.

  22. #22 Wynn
    July 19, 2008


    Do you have any links where someone actually took the bait?

  23. #23 Thomas Xavier
    July 20, 2008

    I followed your sound advice and translated the site to english. I hope you can have a laugh despite my rough english. The link to the BB is http://alt.impfkritik.de/forum/archiv/impfforum/f24.parsimony.net/forum55247/index.htm
    If you can read german, you can see Hans Tolzin got so angry he started stalking Catherina, who warned him from the very beginning. The provider of the BB terminated the contract because of the stalking, which I consider an unexpected victory 🙂

  24. #24 Thomas Xavier
    July 21, 2008

    Dr Aust

    I followed your sound advice and translated the whole site. I hope you find my english acceptable.


  25. #25 Dr Aust
    July 21, 2008

    Thanks for posting the English translation, Thomas. It is quite clear and naturlich viel besser als mein schreckliches Deutsch.

    And congrats again for perpetrating such an excellent and informative prank.

  26. #26 Thomas Xavier
    July 23, 2008

    As you can obviously speak decent german, here is a german link about Hans Tolzin, my victim:


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