Respectful Insolence

As my fellow Americans (ack! I’m sounding like a politician!) know, this happens to be a holiday weekend in the States, Monday being Labor Day. Given that, I’m taking it easy blogging until Tuesday, given that most people (in the U.S. at least) are probably out taking advantage of the opportunity that what is traditionally considered the last weekend of the summer vacation season affords. Me and my wife, we’re taking advantage of this three day weekend to do somthing truly fun: To finally put our basement in order. (There’s still a ton of stuff down there from when we moved in.) Woo-hoo!

In any case, all of this makes this weekend the perfect time to catch up on stuff that I’ve been meaning to post about but somehow never did. For example, I noticed this one about a week ago when fellow ScienceBlogger Mark Hoofnagle posted an incredibly bizarre video by someone who has appeared right here on this blog before. Indeed, he has appeared not just once but twice in my earlier, soon-to-be-resurrected-in-one-form-or-another feature, Your Friday Dose of Woo in 2007 as the inventor of not just the EPFX/QXCI, Quantum Xrroid Consciousness Interface, which combined most amazing woo and arguably one of the most outrageously ugly (if not the most outrageously ugly), least functional computer interfaces I’ve ever seen, and the Scientific Consciousness Interface Operation (SCIO) system, which “integrates the sciences of mathematics, quantum physics, fractal dynamics, subspace theory, electronics, and computer programming” and includes “naturopathy, homeopathy, acupuncture, chiropractic, energetic medicine, psychology, aromatherapy, reflexology, colour therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, biofeedback and Rife Resonator,” not to mention incorporates “knowledge of metaphysical subjects to bring a unique synergistic perspective to natural healing.” And, of course, as one of his “admirers” made a point of telling me, Nelson was “nominated” for the Nobel Prize.

Now you know why I featured Nelson twice on Your Friday Dose of Woo last year. I also still wonder why he never won that Nobel Prize. Personally, I’d give him a prize for being able to combine more forms of highly intense woo into a single product than virtually anybody else can. Or perhaps this video can explain:

Amazing. The ego-ism, with Nelson as the lone defender of Truth, Justice, and Naturopathy versus the Evil Allopathy. Hmmm. (“Evil Allopathy” would make a good name for a band, don’t you think?) Too bad the FDA has banned the sale of his device in the U.S. and he’s on the run from the law. Obviously it’s all part of the plot.

But Nelson’s amazing talents don’t stop with just the film above. Check out some of the films on this website. We see Bill Nelson treating us to his musical talents in drag as a diva, in a courtroom drama (“Naturopathy will have its day”), a transformational drama in which a doctor becomes a “healer,” not to mention “proof” of extra-sensory perception, a film shot on location in Africa, and a whole lot more. One thing we learn is that Bill Nelson likes to dress up in drag a lot. Another thing we learn is that he really should take voice lessons. But the most important thing that we learn is the truly bizarre mindset of a man who can come up with such amazingly wild quackery.

Truly, you can’t make stuff like this up. At least, I can’t. If I could, I’d seriously worry about my mental health.

Comments

  1. #1 sophia8
    August 31, 2008

    Heh. Somebody should tell him that the “lord of the Dance” tune he’s mangling is fully copyrighted: http://www.stainer.co.uk/lotd.html

  2. #2 Matthew
    August 31, 2008

    whoa.

    The tune was written by Joseph Brackett in 1848 while he lived in a Shaker community in Alfred, Maine, USA. The melody was also used by Aaron Copland in his ballet Appalachian Spring (1944).

  3. #3 madder
    August 31, 2008

    Xrroid rhymes with hemorrhoid, right?

  4. #4 Orac
    August 31, 2008

    Somebody should tell him that the “lord of the Dance” tune he’s mangling is fully copyrighted: http://www.stainer.co.uk/lotd.html

    What Matthew said.

    However, browse some of the other videos, and there are plenty of manglings of copyrighted songs. I have to wonder what he has against Paul Simon to have abused Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes so badly.

  5. #5 IBY
    August 31, 2008

    Maybe you could make up stuff like tbat, with a little assistance from ten cans of beer. ^_^

  6. #6 snerd
    August 31, 2008

    Don’t forget his transvestite porn site. I know I can’t.

  7. #7 DLC
    August 31, 2008

    Major League Woo.
    amazing how the rest of the world has not caught on to this fellow’s Quantum Consciousness Bipfeedback Super Woo Energy Healing Machine. Surely it’s working principles would have been discovered and documented before this?

    But only he has The Truth.
    Right… I’ll take my medical advice from Pharma Shills in preference to this guy, who seems to be either a quack, conman or fool. Maybe all three ?

  8. #8 NickG
    August 31, 2008

    Oh. My. God.

    That possibly surpasses Don’t Copy that Floppy as the most unintentionally funny video I’ve ever seen.

  9. #9 DrFrank
    September 1, 2008

    I’d love to get hold of the source code for the interface, just to see what it actually does. Obviously, overall it doesn’t really do anything, but I’d like to know whether there are lots of bizarre and convoluted algorithms underneath that they think are doing all this magic, or whether it’s all just a bunch of functions that consist of { return rand(); } statements.

  10. #10 Skwee
    September 2, 2008

    Between these videos & the Chick Tracts, my IQ has probably dropped over the weekend.