…at least that seems to be the case with this couple:

Tourists enjoying a day of sightseeing at Windsor Castle got more than they bargained for today when a couple were caught having sex on the Queen’s lawn.

Ignoring signs asking visitors to Please Keep Off The Grass, the man and woman, said to be in their early 30, selected a spot near the castle’s Garter Tower and stripped off in full view of hotels, pubs and shops.

An employee at the Harte and Garter Hotel, which overlooks the castle, said guests went out to observe the scene and could not believe their eyes. The woman, who asked not to be named, said: “People were shouting things like ‘what are you doing?’ but the couple didn’t seem to care at all. It was going on for about 10 or 15 minutes, which is quite a long time, considering the location.”

Impressive. Quite impressive. And, of course:

“The Japanese tourists were comparing their videos.”

But, most important of all:

It is not known whether the Queen was in residence at Windsor Castle at the time.

I wouldn’t have thought that Windsor Castle would be such an aphrodisiac that it completely overwhelmed this couple’s self-control, but apparently I don’t know much about aphrodisiacs.


  1. #1 shellity
    May 3, 2009

    Ha! Gives a whole new meaning to the term “Head of the Commonwealth”, dunnit?

  2. #2 KC
    May 3, 2009

    Orac: There’s some news about fraud on Merck’s behalf, thought you might be interested. Apparently Merck conjured a peer-reviewed journal from the air, and put up fraudulent peer-reviewed articles.

    I’d link to the original article, but it’s registration-required, so here’s a link to a place that has a static link:

  3. #3 Mojo
    May 3, 2009

    I would have thought that Hampton Court would have been a more appropriate location.

  4. #4 Noadi
    May 3, 2009

    It’s the lure of the forbidden, always a powerful aphrodisiac.

  5. #5 Sean Case
    May 3, 2009

    If the Queen was there, then the Royal Standard would have been flying above the castle.

    Of course, I expect that none of those photos actually show the flagpole, so to speak.

  6. #6 Phillip IV
    May 3, 2009

    “Ignoring signs asking visitors to Please Keep Off The Grass…”

    Soon to be replaced by signs saying “No sex please, we’re British.”

  7. #7 Kathryn
    May 3, 2009

    @ KC:

    WTF?!?!? And shame on Elsevier for cooperating. If Merck had just hired some folks with Pagemaker to throw something together and get it printed at Kinko’s, that’s bad enough, but for a legitimate publisher to be party to this? Good grief.


  8. #8 Chris Davis
    May 3, 2009

    Gosh, etc. And this comes cold on the heels of a couple of Beatles having a joint in one of the broom cupboards while waiting to receive their OBEs!

    What a hotbed of sin Buck House is. It’s only a matter of time (well, decades) until some footman is caught buggering little boys belowstairs.

  9. #9 Martin
    May 3, 2009

    I actually live in Windsor, near the castle, and I’d just like to say: “bllleeaaaauugghh”

  10. #10 rrt
    May 3, 2009

    Hm. Must’ve been Coulton fans.

    (that link may be NSFW, so here’s a safer one…still has naughty words, though…)

  11. #11 Paul
    May 3, 2009
  12. #12 storkdok
    May 3, 2009

    lol! They only stopped when the police walked up and asked them to! I wonder if they got a ticket for being on the grass?!

    Sean beat me to it, look for the royal standard flying high above the castle.

  13. #13 DuWayne
    May 3, 2009

    rrt –

    Thanks, that was very big fun…

  14. #14 Marcus Ranum
    May 3, 2009

    Sounds like somebody lost a bet. 😀

  15. #15 notmercury
    May 3, 2009

    This sort of things wouldn’t happen if the front lawn wasn’t so neatly trimmed.

  16. #16 rrt
    May 3, 2009

    Oh, I know notmercury. People need to know the dangers of
    mowing the lawn.

  17. #17 Johannes Lochmann
    May 3, 2009

    +1 for style!

  18. #18 Anthro
    May 3, 2009

    Am I the only one who finds this unamusing? I like a good romp as much as the next middle-aged woman, but really, this was disrespectful and insulting behaviour. I hope they were arrested for some sort of indecency charge. Also, I wonder why this item is on this blog?

  19. #19 seksi
    May 3, 2009

    My mother, being a child of the 40s and the daughter of a public health worker, lined us up for Swine Flu vaccines in 1976.

    I suppose the upside of the anti-vax crowd with their “I’ll use enemas and homeopathy” arguments is that there will be more vaccine for those of us who want it when they finally roll one out?

  20. #20 Chris
    May 3, 2009

    Well those were amusing spam bots!

  21. #21 Orac
    May 3, 2009

    Also, I wonder why this item is on this blog?

    Because I did find it amusing.

  22. #22 Mu
    May 3, 2009

    15 min, in full view of the public – feeling inadequate right now

  23. #23 rrt
    May 4, 2009

    “Am I the only one who finds this unamusing? I like a good romp as much as the next middle-aged woman, but really, this was disrespectful and insulting behaviour. I hope they were arrested for some sort of indecency charge. Also, I wonder why this item is on this blog?”

    “Dear BBC, East Grinstead, Friday. I feel I really must write and protest about that sketch. My husband, in common with a lot of people of his age, is fifty. For how long are we to put up with these things?”
    –E. B. Debenham (Mrs).

    “Dear Freddy Grisewood, Bagshot, Surrey. As a prolific letter-writer, I feel I must protest about the previous letter. I am nearly sixty and am quite mad, but I do enjoy listening to the BBC Home Service. If this continues to go on unabated…Dunkirk, dark days of the war, backs to the wall, Alvar Liddell, Berlin air lift, moral upheaval of Profumo case, young hippies roaming the streets, raping, looting and killing.”
    –Brigadier Arthur Gormanstrop (Mrs).

  24. #24 snerd
    May 4, 2009

    As I sat having my bath in the back of the snowplough – a foul trick was played.

    Hands up, Neddie, drop that soap. Moriarty, tie his hands – then hide them where he can’t find them.

    What a fiendish move – you naughty men – I’ll write to The Times about this –

    Furious pen scratching on vellum or paper.

    Dear Sir – I wish to complain about an outbreak of hand-tying on snow-ploughs whilst taking hip baths.

    (furious) Give me that letter – you’ll not send that, now then lad.

    Furious writing.

    Dear sir – today I heard the first cuckoo – there, sign that –


    You swine!

    Good – Moriarty, post it – that’ll put them off the perfume.

  25. #25 Gil
    May 4, 2009

    A scene where the royalty of different monarchies are having some tea:

    “So anything interesting happened to anyone this past week?”

    “Miffy had a bunch of kittens.”

    “Awwwww. How cute.”

    “Anyone else?”

    “We had a tourist couple screwing on our front lawn for 10 to 15 minutes before they kicked out.”

    ** spittake! **

  26. #26 DLC
    May 4, 2009

    Really, it was Queen Victoria who was famously Not Amused.

    I think the police will be giving this couple rather a hard time over this. I expect the two of them to stand before the bar and ejaculate “Guilty!” when the judge asks them to make a plea. But I’m sure it will all come right in the end.

  27. #27 sophia8
    May 4, 2009

    @snerd: YOMANK! Now I’m off to dig out my old Goons records….

  28. #28 lemons
    May 4, 2009

    “A spokesman from Thames Valley police confirmed that two people had been arrested and cautioned for outraging public decency. It is not known whether the Queen was in residence at Windsor Castle at the time.”

    Yes, there will always be an England.

  29. #29 Michael Simpson
    May 4, 2009


    i was thinking the same thing. Porn producers are probably trying to get their contact information.

  30. #30 Alan Kellogg
    May 5, 2009

    There’s a genre dedicated to pubic displays of affection. Video has been shot of people having sex in public parks, train stations and bus terminals, and even shopping malls. Then you have fake public sex, in which the action does take place out doors, but usually on private grounds, or in locations that happen to be empty at the time. There are people who have to be watched having sex in a public location in order to experience excitement and orgasm.

New comments have been temporarily disabled. Please check back soon.