Orac is the nom de blog of a (not so) humble pseudonymous surgeon/scientist with an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his miscellaneous verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few will. (Continued 
Well, I'm back.
After my trip to TAM7, I'm back in the real world, jet-lagged and tired. So it may take me a while--hopefully only a little while--to get back to my usual prolific output, and there will be something later today. In the meantime, just let me say I really, really wish I had had this T shirt to wear at TAM7:
Well, actually I wish I had a G-rated version of the shirt to wear. I don't generally wear T shirts with profanity on them.
If such a shirt existed, then all I would need to complete my wardrobe would be this one:
That would be a problem, wouldn't it?
Life Science
Comments
Well, if I could edit the shirts to be elementary-school acceptable
tshirt # 1
Jesus is a really lousy scientist or
Jesus: great guy
lousy scientist
tshirt #
Dang! or Uh-oh
See, rational thinking starts early...but you have to have age-appropriate language.
Posted by: Liz Ditz | July 14, 2009 1:27 AM
My favorite depicts Jesus at a hold-'em table, with the subscript "Ante, Christ."
Posted by: Pieter B | July 14, 2009 1:35 AM
I think a Homer Simpson "Doh!" is the appropriate term.
Posted by: daedalus2u | July 14, 2009 5:39 AM
Jesus: Science, he's doin it wrong.
(and Welcome Back, Orac )
Posted by: DLC | July 14, 2009 5:44 AM
Noah's real dilemma begins after he runs out of other species to feed to the T Rex. Of course, the real Noah used propofol to sedate all of the animals and Ensure to feed them. The miracle was creating the Big Pharma manufacturer to make these.
Each animal also had a Foley catheter and a feces bag. Then there were problems with the nursing staff (Noah's family), but this was before the Creation of unions.
Then there is the problem of keeping track of 2 of each bacterium. Separate rooms. Gosh, what if they mutate?
Posted by: Rogue Medic | July 14, 2009 6:48 AM
Jesus was a character in children's stories.
Like Pecos Bill, or Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.
Or the Little Engine that Could.
Posted by: Snark | July 14, 2009 7:43 AM
Rogue Medic, thats what happened to the unicorn you know, the T-Rex ate him before the drugs took effect.
Posted by: PlanetaryGear | July 14, 2009 10:01 AM
Um, I don't get the first one. Is there some Jesus story where he does something remotely related to science?
Posted by: clueless | July 14, 2009 10:29 AM
Rogue Medic, thats what happened to the unicorn you know, the T-Rex ate him before the drugs took effect.
Serves Noah right for using that homeopathic animal tranquilizer on the T-Rex.
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | July 14, 2009 10:31 AM
Is there some Jesus story where he does something remotely related to science?
Ms. Williams tells me that Jesus turned the water into wine
You’d think somebody could do something like that
Would be a friend of mine. --Ray Wylie Hubbard "No Lie"
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | July 14, 2009 10:42 AM
Propoflo is too short-acting, needs constant IV administration and close monitoring of the patients, way too labor-intensive...acepromazine works better to keep 'em bombed
Posted by: betterlivingthruchemistry | July 14, 2009 10:46 AM
How about instead of having actual animals on the ark, we rewrite the story and have Noah and his artistic daughters-in-law produce clay replicas of the animals (just so god wouldn't forget what he made) and then when it is all over but the eating, god the poofta just poofs them all to life. I mean, he's done it before, certainly he couldn't forget how in such a short time, could he?
Posted by: GaryB, FCD | July 14, 2009 11:23 AM
Have to agree with #8. The second t-shirt is funny but the first one doesn't make any sense.
Posted by: Shay | July 14, 2009 11:56 AM
No no no. Jesus was a lousy carpenter. Just ask Dave Foley. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGQRBkv4di8
Posted by: MeanDean | July 14, 2009 1:27 PM
Jesus' manual says the earth is only 6000 years old. Bad science.
Posted by: MikeMa | July 14, 2009 2:58 PM
"Shitty" is profane?
Posted by: John Morales | July 14, 2009 10:04 PM
Nah, THIS is what happened to the unicorns...
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8687905da0a1166b82131930b0001010
"God hates freaks."
Posted by: Enkidu | July 14, 2009 10:18 PM
Man, you'd all better hope that Jesus isn't actually the son of God. Or if he is, that he has a really good sense of humor.
Posted by: a-non | July 15, 2009 12:05 PM
Jesus, if he existed at all, was a weird kid with an active imagination. God is a fable.
Posted by: MikeMa | July 15, 2009 12:43 PM
You think there's a single elementary schooler anywhere who doesn't say "shit" at least every other day?
Posted by: Azkyroth | July 15, 2009 1:11 PM
Plenty of them? I have 4 kids, and none of them have ever said "shit" to my knowledge. Only two are in school this year, but I know a lot of kids who aren't exposed to that type of language.
I, too, try to avoid crude language on my shirts, which is unortunate, as the "SCIENCE It works, bitches" shirt at XKCD is awesome.
Posted by: Epinephrine | July 16, 2009 1:05 PM
I have that T-shirt, which I do wear on occasion. (To date, much appreciative chuckles and no obvious disdain, although I don't wear it around kids.) It was a generous gift from a colleague that served with me on the committee revising our state science standards.
Posted by: Lorax | July 16, 2009 1:45 PM
Okay, that Noah one is gold.
Posted by: Zach Miller | July 16, 2009 1:45 PM
Trust me, they hear it daily on the playground. I've actually BEEN a kid.
Posted by: Azkyroth | July 16, 2009 6:12 PM
Man, you'd all better hope that Jesus isn't actually the son of God. Or if he is, that he has a really good sense of humor.
1) Man, you'd better hope that you've adequately been following the path of Sanatana, Or that Vishnu has a really good sense of humor. Otherwise, you'll be a goat in your next life. If you're lucky.
Point: So classy to imply threats.
2) I don't have to hope. If a deity existed, it would be as real to the sane people as it is to the delusional.
Posted by: Aquaria | July 17, 2009 6:44 AM
Adtually, Yeshua bar Yosef would probably, were he alive today, have been very interested in and very pro-science, as would be expected of a rabbi whose main influence was Hillel. It's just those who insist on calling him by the title he never claimed, "The Anointed One" (= "The Chrismed One' = 'the Christ') who are the lousy scientists.
I do like to ask them, though, that if Jesus were all-knowing, why didn't he introduce printing -- not movable type, which might not have been possible, but at least 'carved-block' printing? That way he could have been sure that his words weren't as mangled as they became after 1500 years of manual copying of them. Of course, I also don't understand why he didn't write his own book, or dictate one, but then these supposed 'prophets' never do. Even Mohammed, supposedly being given 'God's final message for humanioty' never bothered to take the simple step of ordering a follower to 'write down what I say' and it took 20 years after his death before somebody realized they should do it -- from memory.
Posted by: Prup (aka Jim Benton) | July 17, 2009 11:30 AM
I like,
"Jesus loves you... But everyone else thinks your a C**t!"
It's profane, but funny as hell.
Posted by: Chris Lamb | July 27, 2009 7:58 AM
Ever considered the possibility that Noah took young animals on the ark? Like cubs and baby dinos?
Posted by: Mac Stephens | October 7, 2009 2:42 AM