Respectful Insolence

Precision thieves

As wrong and illegal as “smash and grab” theft is, I have to admit to a grudging respect for the skill and precision with which these thieves managed to despoil a sanctum sanctorum of computing, an Apple Store in New Jersey:

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Yikes. All in all, they took they took 23 Macbook Pros, 14 iPhones and nine iPod Touches, all in 31 seconds flat.

If only these thieves hadn’t put their ambition and skills to such an illegal and immoral use…

Comments

  1. #1 Magnus
    September 3, 2009

    I just installed Snow Leopard on my Macbook Pro. :D

    The stores near where I live have kensington locks on their macbooks. I’m guessing these guys could have easily cut them, but I still think it’s a good idea for a store not to make it this easy for criminals.

  2. #2 gingerbeard
    September 3, 2009

    it is possible to respect the persons exceptional professionalism while disproving of their profession. Like train robbers of old, this group was very good and coordinated but still crooks.

    Really quite a display of their craft.

  3. #3 Russell
    September 3, 2009

    Skill? Just a little coordination. The boss was smart enough to make sure everyone in the crew had seen the store, and then assign each to a different and known line.

  4. #4 mk
    September 3, 2009

    Skill?

  5. #5 Orac
    September 3, 2009

    The stores near where I live have kensington locks on their macbooks. I’m guessing these guys could have easily cut them, but I still think it’s a good idea for a store not to make it this easy for criminals.

    Indeed. It at least would have slowed the thieves down…

  6. #6 TGAP Dad
    September 3, 2009

    Just breaks your heart to see an Apple store defiles (desecrated?) in such a manner. And to think they are probably pawing and groping those poor, innocent macbook pros even as I write this. I think I’m going to be sick…

  7. #7 charfles
    September 3, 2009

    Looks like they forgot the power adapters. Those things are expensive.

  8. #8 Scientizzle
    September 3, 2009

    Ha!
    H*appeh for the threadjack!
    Idiot.

  9. #9 Orac
    September 3, 2009

    Happeh is gone once again. Goodbye.

  10. #10 Orac
    September 3, 2009

    And Happeh is banned once again.

  11. #11 daedalus2u
    September 3, 2009

    I suspect that if they look at surveilance video for the past several weeks, they will find them. With so many individuals they only have to find one or two to get a line on the rest. Some of the clothing did have distinctive marks. I noticed a white spot on one pair of jeans.

  12. #12 Damien
    September 3, 2009

    Sorry, that was damn impressive and all, but I would only really get excited if it was only one guy.

    I also agree with everyone above that this Apple store almost seems to be begging for a smash and grab. No security grates? No Kensington locks? Non-shatterproof glass? One security guard, most likely unarmed? Jesus, why don’t you just leave the computers in a pile by the front door?

  13. #13 Aluminum Casting
    September 3, 2009

    I hate the thieves .

  14. #14 ObSciGuy
    September 3, 2009

    Looks like little more than a simple pre-planned theft. Looking at what they stole – it’s 4 or 5 laptops per individual, and about as many ipods. Not all that impressive?

  15. #15 Damien
    September 3, 2009

    BTW, just out of curiosity, who is H*appeh? And why does he apparently get banned often enough to make it almost rote?

  16. #16 Mandos
    September 4, 2009

    Close and lock your door—at home—and google “Happeh Theory”, and prepare the facepalm.

  17. #17 Mandos
    September 4, 2009

    Close and lock your door—at home—and google “H*appeh Theory” (minus the star), and prepare the facepalm.

  18. #18 Grendel
    September 4, 2009

    Happeh is woo incarnate.

  19. #19 Richard Eis
    September 4, 2009

    H*ppeh is good old fashioned deranged.

    The only other future for these kids was probably McDonalds. But at least the service there will be quick and coordinated which would make a nice change ;)

  20. #20 Scott
    September 4, 2009

    The stores near where I live have kensington locks on their macbooks. I’m guessing these guys could have easily cut them, but I still think it’s a good idea for a store not to make it this easy for criminals.

    They’re all supposed to, it’s corporate policy (though relatively recent). And no, they couldn’t have “easily” cut them – it takes bolt cutters and a good bit of leverage. Not something you can do in less than a few seconds each, which would have given the guard time to respond. Though unless he was armed, that might not have meant much.

  21. #21 LovleAnjel
    September 4, 2009

    Happeh is the greatest wackadoodle entertainment you could ask for.

  22. #22 Magnus
    September 4, 2009

    @Scott

    That was actually my point. I have a kensington lock for my own Macbook Pro. The wire is very thin, and even though I haven’t tried cutting it, I suspect that it wouldn’t take more than one good cut with a bolt cutter. I guess it depends on how you define easily. If you have a bolt cutter it would be easy to steal a macbook. It would have made anything like this heist impossible as they would need one person to cut the locks for each person carrying laptops and much more time per macbook. They would have gotten away with far fewer, and would probably not have bothered in the first place.

  23. #23 Wehaf
    September 4, 2009

    Aren’t all iPhones equipped with GPS positioning, making these thieves easily trackable? I know others have used this feature to catch thieves: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,544880,00.html

  24. #24 spiny norman
    September 4, 2009

    “Defiled”? “Desecrated”? Heh… Mac really is a cult. This should barely be local news.

    I have bolt cutters. Cutting a Kensington lock would be be like cutting string with scissors.

  25. #25 pregunta
    September 4, 2009

    When caught, would any of them say “mea culpa, mea culpa, mea Macs-ima culpa”?

  26. #26 Pieter B
    September 6, 2009

    I’m betting that anyone buying more than two MacBook power supplies at a time in the next few weeks will get just a little bit of extra scrutiny.

  27. #27 Paul Murray
    September 8, 2009

    Kensington locks deter crimes of opportunity – which most thefts are. Not organised, serious criminals like these.

  28. #28 Rogue Medic
    September 9, 2009

    Was Tickle Me Happeh turning himself/herself in for the robberies, or for being an object of ridicule, or for something else?

    None of these guys seem to be wearing gloves.

    As with bank robberies, anyone can get away with it once. Maybe not Tickle Me Happeh – when TMH starts slapping TMH’s legs, laughing, and falling down, it can be distracting, but eventually someone will arrest the high pitched red dude/non-dude. Maybe TMH’s Mickey Rooney impression from Breakfast at Tiffany’s will be TMH’s undoing.

    The problem for successful thieves, is stopping before being caught. That is assuming that one of them doesn’t get caught doing something else and turn in the rest to get a lighter sentence. As with anti-science people, they start to believe that there is something special about them, that they cannot get caught. By the end of the month, I expect that they will be arrested. The police will go out of their way to make an example of these guys.