Oh, yes, my brothers and sisters, we have done it!

My pharma paymasters are very, very pleased indeed with me and all of their other blogging and Twittering minions. Very, very pleased indeed. In fact, they are cackling with glee over the discomfiture of one of their greatest enemies, Mike Adams, a.k.a. The Health Ranger! This brave rebel’s plan to attack the conspiracy by winning a Shorty Award in Health has been thwarted, thanks to the efforts of you and me, oh my brothers and sisters, and The Health Ranger has gone completely mental about it:

I was set to take the top prize, and Dr. Mercola was in a solid second place when some vaccine pushers got word that a couple of “natural medicine whackos” (as they described us) were about to win the award, and they organized an opposition campaign to elect their own candidate — a virtually unknown doctor from Australia who held a strong opinion against homeopathy and natural medicine while pushing vaccines and pharmaceuticals. They began to call for others to vote for this “pro-vaccine” candidate, even though most people had no idea who she was and had never even read her work.

But the opposition didn’t stop there: They unleashed a campaign of slanderous and false accusations against NaturalNews readers, accusing the readers of somehow engaging in fraudulent voting. Without a shred of supporting evidence (because none exists), they accused us of rigging the contest. It’s ridiculous, of course. I personally have well over a million readers around the world. We are legitimate producers of natural health content who are both known all over the world, and we have very large numbers of followers and readers spanning well over a hundred countries. The fact that our vote numbers climbed rapidly was merely a reflection of the level of support for NaturalNews and the Health Ranger.

It wasn’t really surprising to see the vaccine quacks engaging in their false accusations, of course: Lying and cheating is par for the course for the vaccine and pharmaceutical industries. Their supporters apparently reflect that same lack of ethical behavior. They will apparently do anything to win, even if it means engaging in widespread false accusations and trying to get natural health people removed from the contest altogether.

That’s right, my brothers and sisters, our masters have succeeded, and it is all due to your hard work at the conspiracy to defame the hapless Health Ranger.

I’m particularly impressed at how Brother Farley pointed out that Mr. Adams had as many as 20% of his votes coming from dubious sources, in particular accounts created solely to vote for him. Brother Farley‘s leadership in this area has been most exemplary, and he will be rewarded appropriately by our pharma masters with an enormous payday and vaccines with extra thimerosal. Oh, and the gratitude of his pharma masters, which is incalculable in the benefits it can bring to a blogger.

In the meantime, enjoy the spectacle of Adams railing against the defeat that he has been dealt:

In investigating this issue, I also learned that the Shorty Awards actually encourages defamatory attacks, slanderous accusations and profanity as part of their voting process. They do this by ignoring their responsibility to police and remove such unprofessional behavior on the part of candidates and voters. The vaccine-pushing candidate now “winning” the Shorty Awards in the health category has text on her website that says, “If water has memory, then homeopathy is full of shit.”

Of course, homeopathy is full of shit, but then Mike Adams has never let a little thing like science trouble his tiny mind. He also seems confused at what defamation and slander are. You can’t slander or defame a treatment like homeopathy. Rachael was merely expressing her opinion, which I echo.

Even better, near the end, Adams says it wasn’t that big a deal anyway:

In the end, I suppose winning a Shorty Award wasn’t really such a big deal. We don’t need recognition from some tiny website to legitimize our existence on the ‘net. But seeing how the Shorty Awards engages in outright vote fraud while rigging the awards just goes to prove, once again, how supporters of pharmaceutical medicine lie and cheat their way into getting what they want — ethics be damned!

This contest also goes to show you that vaccine pushers will do almost anything to shut down the opposition and try to silence anyone who has the intelligence to question the so-called “science” behind vaccines. Since they can’t win in an honest contest, they are forced to resort to cheating and lying in an attempt to rig the outcome. The Shorty Awards allowed them to do precisely that. You could accurately say, in essence, that the Shorty Awards has conspired with a group of liars and cheats to rig the outcome of their awards competition. That is a factual statement that will stand up in a court of law.

Mike has a funny way of showing how little this vote mattered to him. He published a long rant against the organizers of the Shorty Awards, and now he’s Tweeting threats to sue them. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m beginning to suspect that the Shorty Award in Health mattered rather more to The Health Ranger than he is letting on, wouldn’t you agree?

In any case, Mike thinks there was outright vote fraud? Seriously, get out the valium. and maybe some Haldol. Our pharma masters will be happy to supply it to Mike, and he clearly needs it. As for libel or slander, Mr. Adams should be careful, because his claim that the Shorty Awards “conspired with a group of liars and cheats to rig the outcome of their awards competition” is clearly defamatory and might even be libelous. True, it’s highly unlikely that anyone would sue Adams. For one thing, they’d have to track him down in his Central American abode in order to serve him papers; it’d be far more trouble and expense than he’s worth. Of course, if Mike actually sues the Shorty Awards himself, I would be salivating–nay, licking my lips and cackling with glee, just like my big pharma masters and just like Emperor Palpatine!–over the prospect of some high-powered attorneys engaging in a bit of discovery when it comes to Adams’ website, business dealings, and promotion of quackery “natural health.” That could make for some very interesting discoveries, and if it were ever to go to trial I’d love to see Mike Adams on the stand, because if there was anyone involved in vote rigging it was very likely to be Mr. Adams himself, as this record might suggest but cannot prove. At the very least, his overenthusiastic followers can’t read the rules for the contest.

Mr. Adams also seems to have a serious double standard. (So what else is new?) He castigates those who reported his voting chicanery to the Shorty Awards as “liars and cheats” in the thrall of big pharma and castigates them for rallying against him, as though it were some sort of huge conspiracy, and then what does he do? He urges his readers to do exactly the same sorts of things that you and I, my brothers and sisters, were urging people to do, namely vote for the acceptable candidate with the best shot at winning (although Rachael is far more than “acceptable”; she’s fantastic). Adams does this by urging his readers to vote for the über-quack supporter, Joe Mercola, giving him an “endorsement” that completely validates my opinion of Mercola, saying “Dr. Mercola and I agree nearly 100% on issues like vaccines and health freedom.”

Adams might just as well have said, “Mercola is a quack.” Come to think of it, he just did.

Be that as it may, Adams has thrown his support behind the candidate he likes who might still have a chance–just as we did with Rachael. Then he urges his readers to try to game the search engines:

Link to this article from your website using the words “Shorty Awards voting fraud.” This will help this article appear near the top of the search engine rankings any time someone searches for “Shorty Awards.”

Good idea, Mike! That’s exactly why I did just that, my brothers and sisters, servants of the Illuminati-Mason-Pharma-Vaccine (IMPV) Overlords, and–dare I say?–suggest that you do just that as well, so that explanations of Adams’ attempt to game the system bubble to the top of the search engines if at all possible. Thanks, Mike, for the great idea! Who knows if it will work or not, but it’ll be fun finding out!

Although we have won this small battle, our job, alas, is not yet done, my brothers and sisters. There is still an enemy of the conspiracy running in the Shorty Awards in Health. Dr. Mercola may be far behind Rachael, but don’t count him out. It’ll be fun finding out if Mike manages to get Dr. Mercola disqualified for the same reason he was disqualified. It says right in the rules that only preexisting Twitter accounts can be used to vote for Shorty Awards, and Adams is in essence encouraging his followers to do the same sorts of things that got him booted. It is thus in our interest to encourage him to continue, the better to watch his head explode when Dr. Mercola inevitably ends up being disqualified too. After all, if there’s one thing the IMPV is about, it’s overkill.

And black helicopters. We love black helicopters. Just ask David Ayoub.


  1. #1 v.rosenzweig
    February 1, 2010


    That’s a basic legal principle: you can’t slander or libel a principle or idea, only a person. Whether you can libel/slander a group depends in part on how large it is, and how identifiable the members are. For example, if someone were to claim “Armstrong and Aldrin lied about the moon landing,” that would be libel/slander and those men could sue. If someone says “Scientists faked the moon landing, that’s too large and vague.

    The point isn’t that homeopathy is in fact crap. It’s that it isn’t a person, so slander and libel law don’t apply. I could say something false and nasty about homeopathy, and it still wouldn’t be slander.

    (I am not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice.)

  2. #2 MartinM
    February 1, 2010

    Chemotherapy is a scam scam scam scam!!!! Yep, and that can’t be slander or defamation!

    Indeed. It is, however, a .

  3. #3 MartinM
    February 1, 2010

    Let’s try that again without the broken HTML.

    Chemotherapy is a scam scam scam scam!!!! Yep, and that can’t be slander or defamation!

    Indeed. It is, however, a particularly stupid lie.

  4. #4 dan
    April 24, 2010

    go ahead, take your swine flu jabs, fucking sheeps.

  5. #5 Chris
    April 24, 2010

    dan, did you spend the last seven weeks staring at the computer screen trying to come up with that “witty” rejoinder?

  6. #6 hm
    August 27, 2010

    What is all this fuss about Mike Adams? Any rational minded people know that bacteria lived, and thrived for billions of years, generation after generation by studying “peer-reviewed research” in science journals, and eating and medicating themselves with what was “supported” by all this unbiased research.
    Homeopathy may be a fraud, but how is it, when you see things in reverse, minute amounts of peanut can cause severe reaction to those with peanut allergy? Sometimes simple explanations might seem plausible, but may not be true in a biological system.

  7. #7 Antaeus Feldspar
    August 29, 2010

    Why can’t cranks learn to organize their thoughts in paragraphs? Is it because if they did, their thoughts would be organized enough that they could see and correct the glaring flaws in them? “hm” jumps around between three, perhaps four topics in just four sentences.

    What is all this fuss about Mike Adams?

    Are you saying that you didn’t read the post, or that you couldn’t comprehend the post? We can’t help you with your reading comprehension difficulties unless we know where your failure occurred.

    Any rational minded people know that bacteria lived, and thrived for billions of years, generation after generation by studying “peer-reviewed research” in science journals, and eating and medicating themselves with what was “supported” by all this unbiased research.

    Reversing your sarcasm, your argument equates to the following:
    1) Bacteria didn’t need peer-reviewed research, or to make intelligent decisions about what they ate or how they were medicated, in order to live and thrive for billions of years.
    2) (unstated premise)
    3) Therefore humans don’t need peer-reviewed research to tell them what food or medicine is good for them, or to follow that advice, in order to live and thrive.

    The most obvious problem with your syllogism is your 2) premise, which is something like “Humans don’t need anything that bacteria don’t need.” … I confess I am wondering whether I do, indeed, have to explain to you that this premise is false. Humans need plenty of things that bacteria don’t need, at least if they’re going to have a lifespan and a standard of living more typical of humans than of bacteria. Ever seen a bacterium use tools? No? Then why aren’t you giving up tool use? Obviously bacteria got along for billions of years without tool use.

    Another, slightly subtler problem with your premise is that you talking about bacteria living and thriving for billions of years – and ignoring the ones that didn’t. You don’t know how many kinds of bacteria went completely extinct because they “tried” to consume nutrients that weren’t suited to them. (The idea of attributing understanding or intention to bacteria is, of course, absurd, but not nearly as absurd as your trying to make a comparison between bacteria and humans in the first place.) We only know that there were some survivors and that over billions of years their descendants were numerous — that does not preclude massive death tolls, which we as humans are under no obligation to calmly accept as a fate.

    Homeopathy may be a fraud, but how is it, when you see things in reverse, minute amounts of peanut can cause severe reaction to those with peanut allergy?

    You really need to work on your grammar. This sentence comes very close to being just plain gobbledygook. What you seem to be trying to say is “If mainstream medicine accepts that very small quantities of an substance can have huge effects (as in the case of an allergen triggering a severe allergy) then why does mainstream medicine reject homeopathy, which is all about very small quantities of substances having huge effects?” The answer is that homeopathy is all about very small quantities of substances having huge effects in ways that contradict all known physics. When we see a person with a severe peanut allergy at the front of a plane starting to gasp and wheeze because someone seated in the middle of the plane started chewing on peanuts, we say “Even though the amount of peanut that wafted through the air from the middle of the plane to the front just from someone’s chewing must be very small, obviously it is still large enough to set off this allergy.” We don’t say “Obviously this allergen is particularly strong because there’s only a very small amount of it” because that does not make any sense; no well-replicated scientific studies, in any field, have ever shown that a biological substance has a greater effect when the dose is smaller. It may have a different effect (I’d certainly rather take 1 ibuprofen tablet than 100) but it will not be the same effect, stronger because the dose is smaller.

    Sometimes simple explanations might seem plausible, but may not be true in a biological system.

    And which of your previous three topics is this supposed to relate to? Presumably homeopathy: it’s a simple explanation; to someone who knows little of science it might seem plausible; it’s definitely not true in a biological system or elsewhere… but I suspect that’s not what you wanted us to apply your observations to.

  8. #8 Mike Adams
    December 21, 2011

    Another Mike Adams SCAM!

    http://www.truth publishing.com/product_p/cd-cat21485.htm

    Eliminate disease in 92 days with the secret of juice feasting, By Mike Adams. Here is yet another one of Mike Adams latest SCAMS! Now for only $58.00 Mike Adams will teach you how to use a juicer or better yet you can always read the instruction manual that came with the juicer in the first place. But wait there’s more!

    Mike Adams also claims that he can Eliminate Disease in not 90 or 100 days but in exactly 92 days. Wow, Mike must be a god or at least he thinks is is one! Scam Artists that make claims like this are sick and are only preying on sick people who would give anything to eliminate or cure their disease in 92 days. If Mike Adams doesn’t end up in jail I can see a whole lot of law suites against him in the very near future. Mike Adams is a SCAM ARTIST and needs to be shut down! Hey Mike, can you lend me $58.00?

  9. #9 Mike Adams Scams
    April 27, 2012

    Mike Adams is a real piece of work. Check out this Scam he tried pulling off.


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