Now this would be a most excellent gift for skeptical friends: The Periodic Table of Irrational Nonsense. Check it out:

i-f7ff241ea5b270927d7f91592b830a8a-Woo Table v1.4.jpg

(Bigger version at the link.)

It would clearly make a lovely poster, although I must confess that I have my doubts that it will show up well enough on a T shirt to be worth doing.


  1. #1 kittywhumpus
    July 18, 2010

    What a lovely treat to go with my Sunday morning cocoa.

    This will have to go up by my desk.

    Favorite so far: Lrh Scientology

  2. #2 A. Nuran
    July 18, 2010

    The problem is that there are so many Trans-Detoxic elements 🙁

  3. #3 Kristen
    July 18, 2010

    I don’t like the fact that Zombies are listed as credulous. This is only lulling us into a false sense of security.

    We must prepare ourselves for the coming zompocalypse!!!eleventy-one!!!.

  4. #4 Enkidu
    July 18, 2010

    That table is pure awesomeness.

  5. #5 Becca Stareyes
    July 18, 2010

    I had a periodic table shirt that split down around column 10 — half was on the front side and half on the back. Made it easier to print a larger version.

  6. #6 Sander
    July 18, 2010

    Find number 58

  7. #7 Jack
    July 18, 2010

    Amazing! I think some rearranging is in order though. The way it is, I can’t make a “raelian-new world order” salt! Really, conspiracy theories should be way more reactive in general.

  8. #8 Andreas Johansson
    July 18, 2010

    Why are Indigo Child and Occult ‘Jm’ and ‘Kn’ respectively? I think I’ve figured out the other non-obvious abbreviations (New World Order is ‘Il’ for Illuminati, frex), but I don’t get those two.

    I do wish he’d used each symbol only once; there’s quite a few repeats.

  9. #9 Enkidu
    July 18, 2010


    I think Indigo Child, Jm = Jenny McCarthy 🙂

  10. #10 Jo
    July 18, 2010

    I’m thinking it would make a nice shower curtain.

  11. #11 Travis
    July 18, 2010

    I saw CSI a few days ago and it had an Indigo Child on it. I had to turn it off then, I just couldn’t stomach listening to a mother thinking like that even when it is an actor.

  12. #12 Ahcuah
    July 18, 2010

    Sanders says, “Find number 58”.

    I’m guessing that means find where it would be, because where 58 would be is Homeopathy, with a woo number of 1023.

    I’m also guessing that really means 10^23, as in 6.02 x 10^23.

    Cute touch.

  13. #13 rglovejoy
    July 18, 2010

    The JFK Assassination was left out too. I’m betting that it was Joe DiMaggio who was behind it.

  14. #14 LibraryGuy
    July 18, 2010

    I want a poster. I want one for my home, for my 13 year old daughter’s room, and one for all my friends (especially the UFO/Kennedy Assassination conspiracy believers.

  15. #15 blf
    July 18, 2010

    The JFK Assassination was left out too.

    No, that’s just a woosotope of Co (woo number 911 (also cute!)), Conspiracy Theories. Admittedly, I always thought Ct (118, Chemtrails) was another Co woosotope, but then again, I’ve always found it hard to keep the various Fucktards straight.

  16. #16 viggen
    July 18, 2010

    There may be something to this! If the quantization scheme holds, the valences might suggest pathways of crank magnetism. Based on the initial woo, we may be able to reliably predict common decay products or excitation-relaxation states. In fact, we may be able to build a collider of a sort to explore the natural pathways of woo creation… I’m thinking something along the lines of the lever operated squirrel smasher that biologists created as an answer to the LHC. Imagine, a way to collide woos together and generate under laboratory controlled conditions the entire woo spectrum!

  17. #17 augustine
    July 18, 2010


    Avandia & avastin

    As opposed to irrational nonsense, these are RATIONAL non-sense.

  18. #18 Chance Gearheart, NREMT-P/EMD
    July 18, 2010

    Orac, you just made my day. I’m going to buy one on a shirt to wear. Maybe it’ll be a conversation starter.

  19. #19 augustine
    July 18, 2010

    The above table is yet more proof this is a hateful, atheist blog.

  20. #20 T. Bruce McNeely
    July 18, 2010

    We don’t hate you, augie. You’re too ridiculous to hate.

  21. #21 augustine
    July 18, 2010

    another augustine imitation troll @18. Often imitated but never duplicated. I love it. Must be some of the young pups on here.

  22. #22 MikeMa
    July 18, 2010

    How are expressions of joy at a clever use of the periodic table format hateful to Christians? Your persecution complex is showing.

  23. #23 Allie
    July 18, 2010


    Because the periodic table is a creation of Satan…? O_O

    Thanks, Orac. Reposted on my own site.

  24. #24 Chance Gearheart, NREMT-P/EMD
    July 18, 2010

    Yes. Help help, the picture on this page is oppressing the poor, poor Christians!

    Oh, wait. I think you too a wrong turn at pharyngula, Augie.

  25. #25 Waghnak
    July 19, 2010

    Oh wow, i want that as a poster

  26. #26 Chris
    July 19, 2010

    For those who want a poster, just click on the picture. It will take you to the original posting which will have links to where you can buy posters and other things from the artist’s Cafe Press site.

  27. #27 JoyMama
    July 19, 2010

    I could have wished to see atheism included in the religions block. Equal opportunity snarkiness, and all…

  28. #28 mikerattlesnake
    July 19, 2010


    Just like “not collecting things” should be put on a list of hobbies…

  29. #29 Liz Ditz
    July 19, 2010

    The creator of the periodic table, Crispian Jago, is really quite talented. He has also written and illustrated The Ladybird Book of Chiropractic Treatment & English Libel Law and If homeopathy works….I’ll drink my own piss, among many other wonders.

  30. #30 ESPness
    July 20, 2010

    I’m left wondering how this table would effect the opening theme of Sapphire and Steel? Too obscure?

  31. #31 JoyMama
    July 20, 2010

    And then the non-collector goes on to ridicule all hobbies as irrational nonsense. I see.

    I guess I’m just sad to see this particular anti-religious swipe (even though it’s cleverly done) on a blog that I like so well. I frequently refer people here for woo-busting when it comes to medical quackery. But I’d far rather not have to spike such referrals with the warning that my readers’ faith may be held up to the same ridicule as woo-based medicine. Sigh.

  32. #32 augustine
    July 20, 2010

    JoyMama: “But I’d far rather not have to spike such referrals with the warning that my readers’ faith may be held up to the same ridicule as woo-based medicine. Sigh.”

    It is one in the same. Faith bashing and non-allopathic bashing comes from the same mind. The same spirit. The same view of life. They are not seperate entities. This amorphous person exists in all areas of life. Versions of this mind are all around, just not so congruent and in one place like this.

    Look around this website. You won’t find any pro-deity content or links. What you’ll see is plenty of links and comments on atheism and materialistic only versions of the universe.

    And for the “believers” who know this but think they can sustain a dichotomy, think again. You’re just like the egotistical doctor who takes money from drug companies because he believes he CANNOT be influenced and he can stay objective. Drug companies get their return on investment no matter how the doc justifies the take. The “believer” just sales a little of their soul…or maintains their dichotomy.

  33. #33 mikerattlesnake
    July 20, 2010

    shorter JoyMama: I like when you call out nonsense, but not MY nonsense!

  34. #34 augustine
    July 20, 2010

    Mikethesnake: “”shorter JoyMama: I like when you call out nonsense, but not MY nonsense!”

    Kristen and Rene YOUR nonsense has been noted by the smarter bloggers on here.

  35. #35 JoyMama
    July 20, 2010

    Ah. I just read the farewell essay from Bora, and discovered that there’s a nefarious myth about ScienceBlogs being an atheism network. Wonder why ScienceBlogs hasn’t been able to shake that perception…

    But I don’t read ScienceBlogs, I read Respectful Insolence, and then generally only the posts. Which I’ve been doing for quite a while, and this is the first blanket faith-bashing that has jumped out at me. Orac may think as you (augustine, mikerattlesnake) do. But he’s not regularly dishing up his heaping helpings on religious debunking in general, only on particular excesses: creationism, prayer instead of meds, etc.

    Which, I suppose, is why I’ll go back to just reading posts. Cheers — it’s been educational.

  36. #36 T. Bruce McNeely
    July 20, 2010

    augustine and JoyMama:

    You talk about atheism like it’s a bad thing.

    Just out of interest, which of the faiths in the Periodic Table do you feel are being unfairly attacked?
    If it’s only one or a few of them, why those ones in particular?
    If it’s all of them,do you honestly feel that they all represent reality without contradiction?

    BTW, atheism doesn’t preclude spiritual feelings or awareness. It does influence your interpretation and what you do with them.

  37. #37 augustine
    July 20, 2010

    Brucy: “You talk about atheism like it’s a bad thing.”

    I don’t care what you BELIEVE. It’s just not synonymous with science.

  38. #38 Chris
    July 21, 2010

    And neither is religion.

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