Egads!
You remember my fun little post about a Sokal-type hoax perpetrated by John C. McLachlan, when he completely fooled the "scientific review" committee of a complementary and alternative medicine conference with a hilarious Sokal-inspired hoax in which he created, in essence, butt reflexology. I thought it was an amusing and fairly original bit of made-up woo.
It turns out I was wrong. A reader just pointed me to Jacqueline Stalline's Rumpology. It turns out that she's an astrologer, and that she thinks she can tell a lot about you by reading your rump:
Jacqueline Stallone has revived the ancient art of Rumpology. Just as a printo of your fingerprints, palms, soles, and ears tell a story, so does your rump.
I'll bet. Stallone even invites her fans to send her pictures of their posteriors for a reading:
The lines, crevices, and folds of your fanny, rear-end for those of you in the UK, can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love. So they thought in ancient India and Babylon and so today. The Greeks used palm and behind prints to determine health and fidelity. The Romans used the prints to identify potential future success. The prints reveal your whole being.
I have no doubt that a print of one's posterior can reveal one's whole being. Some people are real asses, after all.
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I wonder, then, what reading she gets from a certain disgusting webmeme picture from years back....
The first thing that came to mind when reading this was that perhaps this person is just some sort of twisted ass freak. I guess it would be somewhat nice to work my fetishes into a job but I think I would feel guilty doing it this way.
I hope this is not considered inappropriate, but I just cannot take this topic seriously.
Okay, now I have to go watch The Kids in the Hall sketches for a few hours.
What a deal - and only $125! I'm sure all the woo-faithful will beat a path to her door.
This was mentioned on The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe several times. Still as ridiculous as ever
And also from the SGU the word fanny is slang for vagina in Australia.
I wonder if Ms. Stallone has ever met Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I think that's Sly Stallone's mum. She has previously claimed to be a pet psychic as well.
She's beyond batty, this one.
What? Complete and utter nonsense - or at the very least, there's not a single shred of evidence for such a claim. Admittedly, there are only a few things from which not at least one of the ancient cultures tried to somehow divine the future, but the butt (in the literal sense) is most assuredly one of them.
Stallone is apparently just name-dropping ancient cultures to bolster her claims - relying on her audience accepting these as authorities, obviously without knowing the first thing about them. A ploy which works with alarming frequency. Or, to quote from Scripture: "And from the seed of Abraham shall spring a woman named Stallone, who will become a fraud among frauds in the lands beyond the sea" (Mark 3:16-19)
"The lines, crevices, and folds of your fanny... can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love.
This gets much funnier when you live somewhere 'fanny' is a general word for women's 'front ends' (everything in front of the anus), not to be used in polite company.
Indeed, Simba.
Who the heck calls it a 'rear-end' in the UK? Don't Americans use the word 'bottom'?
Jackie Stallone is hilarious. Wonderfully eccentric.
Poe's Law comes to mind.
I seem to recall a "news" piece a couple of years ago, of a blind man who read tushies on the boardwalk for a living. Nice juxtaposition of the "serious news face" on the anchors, with footage of this guy feeling up attractive women's posteriors...
My dad used to exposit to me a lot when I was kid, "Whatever you think of, no matter how stupid or bizarre, no matter how crazy you think it is... Somebody, somewhere, has done it."
It gets truer every day.
But... but it's ancient...
See! You quite literally can't make this stuff up :)
What's that officer? No, I'm not a prostitute! I'm a glanologist. This man just paid me 100 dollars to read his genital bumps.
I read the title of this post, "Beyond Butt Reflexology" and thought, what does that mean exactly? Placing one's homunculous even further up one's ass?
Orac, was that a typo? Didn't you mean that she is an asstrologer?
Just asking,
Prometheus
What? No love for "bum"?
"to the trained eye"? Just where does one go to receive this type of training?
Butt-Ology strikes again!
what a bunch of shit.
This cracks me up.
".... can reveal one's whole being ...."
Shoudn't that be
".... can reveal one's hole being ...."
".... can reveal one's whole being ...."
Shoudn't that be
".... can reveal one's hole being ...."
Cuttlefish @12:
OK, so was this guy really blind, or just pretending to be?
And, if there is butt reflexology, can boob reflexology be far behind (if you pardon the pun)?