By now, everyone is having fun with the amusing Competitive Enterprise Institute ads with the following slogan : "Carbon Dioxide: They Call it Pollution. We Call It Life." I have little to add, except a few parodies:
1. Earth: They call it being buried alive. We call it life.
2. Air: They call it tornadoes. We call it life.
3. Fire: They call it arson. We call it life.
4. Water: They call it drowning. We call it life.
Feel free to suggest others...
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Earth, Wind & Fire: They call it a rubbish 70's band. We call it life.
Competitive Enterprise Institute: Those who can't call it a think tank. We call it Stupid.
AIDS: They call it Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. We call it divine retribution.
FOX News: They call if Fair and Balanced. I call it B***s**t (with apologies to Penn & Teller)
CEI: They call it a "Think Tank." We call it a "Gas Tank".
CEI: They spell it "Potatoe". We spell it "potato".
Potatoe? Potato. Tomatoe? Tomato.
Let's call the whole ad off.
If there is really anybody out there so stupid as to buy into that, then we truly are doomed as a species...
Everything in moderation is what I was always taught.
So how about these:
Sex: They call it fornication. We call it life
Wine: They call it drunkeness. We call it life.
Song: They call it noise. We call it life.
I say we call the CEI an ally against the religious right's fight for 'abstinance only' in public schools, as sex is clearly 'life'.
Just a thought.
well,fucking, they call it sin, we call it life
garbage: They call it a landfill. We call it life.
I guess I was asking for trouble when I called for suggestions, so I'm not going to censor anybody, but let's keep further parodies clean and above the belt, ok?
E. coli: They call it bacteria. We call it life. Or perhaps a different angle. . .
Feces: We call it shit. Flies call it life.
Hey Chris, don't rub this in Ron Bailey's face too much when you go to debate him out in California...
Death: They call it the cessation of life. We call it marketing.
The Electric Chair: They call it the Death Penalty. We call it Life.
Three major league umpires. Three philosophies.
The first umpire says; I calls 'em the way I sees 'em.
Second ump says; The way I see them is how I call them.
Third umpire says; What I calls 'em is what they is!
We need all the humor and intelligence that we can muster because this is a fight to the death, period. There is plenty of power and wealth ready and willing to call it the way they must have it. Hey, if you don't; your money won't grow!
Getting the very term "global warming" completely off the
table is the immediate peeyar ploy. Too, too, scary sayeth the communication geniuses. The very words that hold our very lives in front of us must not be used. Too scary?
Who are these bastards working for?
Best word game ever!
Christanity (or religion of choice): They call it faith. We call it stupidity.
Intelligent Design: They call it science. We call it religion.
[Canadian] Conservative: They call themselves Canadians. We call them Republicans.
Al Gore: They call him a robot. We call him a robot with emotions.
Pot: They make it illegal. We... OMG look at my hands... they have ridges on them...
Nintendo Revolution: They call it Wii. We call it Pee.
Bears: They call them animals. We call them Godless, souless killing machines.
Celine Dion: They call her a singer. We call her... some too horrible to be said.
ScienceBlogs readers: They call themselves the sciencitific literate. We call them people with too much free time.
The Intersection: they call it a scientific blog. We call it a playground of far left-wing political bigots.
CEI is right on the money, and one must be a real idiot not to understand why.
They call it gall. We call it our Constitutional right to free speech which also includes outright lying, skewing, demagoguery and being facile with the language to put one over on the American people so we can create a mood antagonistic to effective government, rational thought, and responsible decision making in this society so that we can steer the future course of this country (what future course of it remains, that is) to stoke our greed even more while we further an agenda to underfund spending on things like universal health coverage, environmental protection, public education, public transportation, and energy conservation measures because it is axiomatic that tax cuts that would otherwise go to senseless things like that that do not really benefit a society should instead go toward acquiring things like 230 of the F-22 Raptor fighter (at $250 million per plane, do the math) to counter a military threat which does not exist (which is all right because the thing is so complex and full of bugs it's anticipated to be operational at best half the time while otherwise undergoing maintenance) except in the delusional imaginings of the Right who spend their time skiing in Aspen or cranking up the airconditioning in Palm Springs after a few hours on the golf course while their offspring attend private schools and colleges and making sure they shun military service while other 18-year olds on the social margins of America have no opportunities for further education or jobs open to them except through a hitch in the military (subject to stop loss extension) assuming they survive physically and mentally unscathed a likely foreign deployment to a country with oil and gas supplies needed to run the ski lifts and fill up the tanks of the SUVs. Yup, in a word that's what it's all about.
CEI is trying to sell us "too much of a good thing" and we all know that:
"Too much of a good thing can be bad for you!"
Icecream: leads to elevated cholesterol & obesity
Water: over your head incurs drowning, floods New Orleans etc.
Sunshine: can cause skin cancer
Oxygen: too much can cause blindness
Carbon Dioxide: fill in the multiple blanks...
See those little CO2 bubbles floating in your bar glass?
Liberals want to take your beer away.
Mmmm. Beer. ...They call it yeast excrement. We call it Life.
"Let us pray for CO2"
Let's say a prayer on cue,
For life-giving CO2.
Cuz green plants would turn brown,
With no CO2 around.
With no photo-synthe-sis,
We'd be hurled into the abyss.
With no oxygen for us,
Or even for some rust.
Without that CO2,
We surely would be blue.
So let's join the righteous few,
And pray again for CO2.
...
Amen -- and could you pass the CO2 please? One can never get too much, you know.
Hey Chris- I went to the CEI press conference releasing the ads and nearly fell off my chair laughing when the tag line came on. I think the last gasp of the skeptics is fast approaching. (btw- no press of note showed up for the press conference) Now watching this Fox News "The Debate Continues" which featured your pal Inhofe, Christy, Spencer, Michaels, etc. But overall I think it still made it look like there is a problem, if you looked at the images and editing between the talking head segments.
My spoof for the CEI Ads which I will gladly give to the Daily Show if you want to send it to Stewart:
Its all around us
Its natural
It comes from all of us
We see it everyday
Plants love it
They call it Piss and Poo
We call it life
flush....
"The Intersection...We call it a playground of far-left political bigots"
Just mindblowing ignorance. Far left would be Maoist or something similar. That guy is just clueless as to what "far left" is, and if he thinks we're Commies he's even more clueless.
That guy is just clueless as to what "far left" is, and if he thinks we're Commies he's even more clueless.
"Some call it clueless. We call it agenda-driven rhetoric."
Lumo is usually the smartest guy in the room - just ask him, he'll tell you.
Best,
D
To paraphrase Steven Colbert:
They call it far-left liberal bias. We call it reality.