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...to the guy next to me in seminar yesterday morning.
Dear Dr. Hot-Shot,
I realize that you thought you were being discrete by turning your phone to vibrate while you texted at a break neck pace during seminar, but when your phone buzzes louder than my vibrator, it is not at all discrete.
Then again, if I could text as quickly as you I probably wouldn't need my vibrator and then I would be more discrete.
Best,
Isis the Scientist
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 5:54 AM • 16 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
Category: Motherhood
Today is my blogoversary of joining ScienceBlogs. w00t! It's been, well, quite a year.
Last week I was anticipating the big commemorative event, complete with fan fare, the sacrifice of some animals (but not JB Handley's horse), a full day of unabashed worship, and ballads and prose from my Sciblings telling me how I have totally hottened up the place. Cause, let's not lie, I have....
But, today I am mostly just exhausted. Yesterday I was so exhausted I went to bed at 8pm. Today instead of posting links to all the most amazing things I have written since joining ScienceBlogs I'm mostly thinking that it seems premature to be patting myself on the back. After all, where was I a year ago when I joined the Borg?
Exhausted. And I thought tonight, after reading some comments on Female Science Professor's post on Kidlessness I'd write about being exhausted. In the post, Female Science Professor follows up on a previous post polling her readers about their career and family choices. She writes:
At the risk of upsetting my ethically inclined bio-colleagues with another survey, I hope that some of the childless respondents from yesterday (female and male), or anyone willing to share their personal data, will leave a comment today that completes this sentence:
I am [female/male] and I do not have children because.. [rest of sentence].
I was intrigued by some of the commenters, early in their careers, who had not had children and were afraid that motherhood and sciencehood were not compatible.
Figure 1: I realize, looking back on this post photoshopping, that I may have gotten the labels wrong. Motherhood is much more brown and slimy than science.I wandered deeper into the comments section of the post and that's when I saw it. Commenter
Cloud writes:
To those looking for role models of women combining careers in science and
motherhood, can I suggest using the internet? I know of a few blogs written by
professors who are also mothers (this one, Blue Lab Coats, Dr. Isis' blog....) I
know that it would be nicer to have examples you can actually meet and have
lunch with, but don't discount what you can learn from anonymous bloggers
online! Also, a lot of bloggers will take the time to answer personal emails
looking for advice and/or data points about what combining career and motherhood
looks like.
Role model? Oh no!
drdrA? Probably. Me? I'm happy to role model being exhausted. Man, have I got that shit down.
When I moved to ScienceBlogs I was the mother of a two year old. Now I am the mother of a three year old. I love being a scientist and the mother of a three year old, but my three year old is beginning to try my patience. For Little Isis's sake, there had better be a God because I am convinced nothing else can save my sanity but divine intervention.
On Wednesday nights Mr. Isis engages in an extracurricular activity away from home and Little Isis and I stay home and cook dinner together. Then we play toys.
Ok, usually I am the one playing toys. But, I digress.
Tonight Little Isis and I were standing at the kitchen counter and I was chopping vegetables. Then next thing I knew, my socked feet were warm and wet. And then I heard...
Mommy, I just had an accident.
I sloshed my child into the bathroom, peeled his soaked clothes from his little person, and asked him if he wanted to try to go in the potty. He replied,
Mommy, I don't have to go potty. All of my pee pees are in my underpants.
Figure 2: I suppose the kid's got a point. You can't squeeze urine from a stone.After convincing Little Isis to dribble in the potty a bit, a bit of negotiation strategy that I am convinced could benefit peace talks in the middle east, I returned to the kitchen to clean up the puddle. Kneeling next to it, and trying to keep the dog from drinking it, I said to Little Isis:
Is everything alright, honey? You haven't had an accident in a long time. Did you forget to tell me?
To which he replied:
Shut, up Mommy.
I've never heard Little Isis speak this way before and I was pretty surprised by his response. When I told him that this is not a polite thing to say to one's mommy he told me:
But David says it to his mommy.
And that's when I knew I was in trouble. David is a little boy at Little Isis's preschool with some serious behavioral problems that may stem from some issues that his his parents are dealing with. We have heard a lot about David lately. A lot. Daily. David's malfeasance has begun to infiltrate our home and, while I appreciate that no 3 year old can really be responsible for his actions, if I hear "But David does it" even one more time, I am going to sneak into David's house in the middle of the night and murder that little brat in his sleep.
Figure 3: Ninja-style. Three is just as exhausting as two and two is as exhausting as one and one is as exhausting as when they were an infant - the difference is that the exhaustion has a different cause at each stage. While during infancy I was sleep-deprived and felt like a walking milk cow, I'm now exhausted trying to keep up with a curious and precocious little boy, trying to prevent the constant threat of permanent bodily injury, while simultaneously battling the bad influences around him. You know, ninja style.
But, to go back to the commenters at Female Science Professor's place who are worried about science and motherhood not being compatible -- you guys are totally screwed. Not because science and motherhood are not compatible, but because motherhood is just not compatible with anything rational or sane. This week I am convinced that if they weren't so damned cute and we didn't love them so deeply, we'd eat our young.
Let's continue this tomorrow because, seriously, I am about to fall asleep and I can't guarantee what I may say from this point on. In the meantime, I'll leave you something to discuss in the comments section below. Modified from Female Science Professor's post:
I am [female/male] and I [do/do not] have children because.. [rest of sentence]
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 9:34 PM • 86 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
Category:
So, yesterday was the first day in a while that I went with no post. I am mildly mortified, but I was also exhausted when I got home last night and had nothing pre-written to throw up. I ended up going to bed at 8pm. Even shoes were uninteresting to me last night. The only thing that tempted me was the softness of my pillow and the beauty of behind my eyelids.
If you've emailed me a question in the last couple of days (I'm looking at you, End Note question asker), I'll get to it. I will. I promise. After work I will get back in the saddle.
And now, back to science...
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 11:58 AM • 3 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
Category: Ass Shaking Jams
...to everyone's favorite Dark Lord of the Sith.
Dearest Darth Vader,
I noticed this morning that the gloves that you were wearing on Saturday night are in the back seat of my car. If you'd like them back, holler at your girl.
All my best,
Isis the Scientist
As I was writing this magnificent opus of ScienceBloggery, I heard this on my Pandora station:
I think I am really feeling it this morning. As I listened, it had a familiar feel to it. Perhaps because it reminded me of one of the anthems of the neighborhood I grew up in...
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 10:14 AM • 4 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
Category:
Check out this lovely post from the brilliant and beautiful Dr. Free-Ride entitled Some Tactics Always Stink.
That Free-Ride seems to hit the nail on the head every single time!
Terrified Tabetic has joined in with JB Handley, El Chingacabra mas grande El Chingacabra, indeed!
Annnnnnd it begins. The email received while I was away at a meeting:
Hey Isis,
Was it hard to type that post while you were sucking the cocks of all the vaccine pushers in ScienceBlogs? Handley's got the guts to have his own opinions, unlike you who are acting like a shrill parrot. As I mother I would think you'd be smater [sic] than to poison your child that way.
I kind of like that one. I have always dreamt of being smater.
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 4:39 PM • 28 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
Category:
Stacy Baker from Miss Baker's Biology Class Dot Com and the Extreme Biology blog tweeted this last night:
I am absolutely mesmerized, watching the traffic patterns. What I think is remarkable is the shift in air traffic density as you see the pattern of light/dark change. I'm also fascinated by the patterns at the extreme top and bottom of the map. I can't hep but wonder where those people are going...
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 9:48 AM • 7 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
Category: Calling out Asshats • Feminist Stylings • Lovely Sciblings • Science-y Sounding Meanderings
The other evening I was laying bed, watching the first season of NCIS on DVD as our technician ordered me too, and being generally hot when I got an email from one of my favorite bloggers in the universe - the great anti-anti-vaxx crusader Orac from over at the Respectful Insolence blog.
I am aware of the anti-vaccine movement because I have been a loyal reader of Orac's blog for sometime. In fact, when I first considered moving to ScienceBlogs, he was the first person I wrote to. Part of me wants to feel some sympathy for the passionate anti-vaccine advocates because I can understand the fear that comes with being a parent. I know the panic that comes with being faced with a decision you fear could permanently and irreversibly harm your child. I know that bad information is plentiful on the internet and that, with the right nurturing, the seed of doubt in a mother's mind can grow quickly into the tree of crazy.
Figure 1: Two young mothers, about to be engulfed by the tree of crazy.
That said, I am a strong believer in the benefit of vaccination and Little Isis has received all of his vaccines in accordance with the
American Academy of Pediatric's Immunization Schedule. As a scientist I feel confident enough in the current body of literature demonstrating the safety of vaccination that I have chosen to contribute to the herd immunity, and our personal immunities, by vaccinating my family in accordance with the yearly recommendations. I don't follow the debate as closely as others because this particular battle on pseudoscience is being waged by
better warriors than I.
However, it seems the debate has taken a turn that Orac believed would interest me when he wrote:
O Goddess,
I thought you might be interested in the utter sexism and misogyny being exhibited by J. B. Handley, one of the leaders of the anti-vaccine movement through his role as founder of Generation Rescue, which now uses Jenny McCarthy as its spokesmoron:
http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2009/10/the_anti-vaccine_movement_strikes_back_u.php
This is a pattern for him:
http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2008/12/winning_friends_and_influencing_people_o_1.php
They guy is a frat boy who never grew up. In any case, if you know of appropriate feminist blogs where they might want to publicize this I'd be appreciative.
Orac
As a bit of back story (although you really should read Orac's blog for the full story. Actually, you should just read Orac's blog. After you read mine, of course.), a journalist named Amy Wallace recently published an article in Wired magazine entitled
An Epidemic of Fear: How Panicked Parents Skipping Shots Endangers Us All. Colossal cockweaseldouchemonkey, genuine asshat, and founder of the ultimate denialist's association, J.B. Handley...well, here it is from Orac:
Well, as an interview
on NPR with Wallace has shown, the shitstorm has arrived, and it is just as
stinky as the term implies, complete with misogyny and sexism...
I've been called
stupid, greedy, a whore, a prostitute, and a "fking lib." I've been called the
author of "heinous tripe."
J.B. Handley, the founder of Generation Rescue, the anti-vaccine group that
actress Jenny McCarthy helps promote, sent an essay title" "Paul Offit Rapes
(intellectually) Amy Wallace and Wired Magazine." In it, he implied that Offit
had slipped me a date rape drug. "The roofie cocktails at Paul Offit's house
must be damn good," he wrote. Later, he sent a revised version that omitted rape
and replaced it with the image of me drinking Offit's Kool-aid. That one was
later posted at the anti-vaccine blog Age of Autism. You can read that blog here
Stay classy, J.B. That's exactly the behavior from you that we've come to
know and despise, and this is the sort of behavior that we expect from the
anti-vaccine movement:
I've been told I'll think
differently "if you live to grow up." I've been warned that "this article will
haunt you for a long time." Just now, I got an email so sexually explicit that I
can't paraphrase it here. Except to say it contained the c-word and a reference
to dead fish.
I told Orac when I responded to him that I would certainly blog about this if I could add something productive to the discussion. When I started writing this post all I could come up with as material was a picture of J.B. Handley fucking a horse because I assume that someone who would write such heinous things must be into fucking animals.
Read on »
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 9:52 PM • 43 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
Category:
Hey, PalMD and Orac! Look, I don't need you stinkin' physicians anymore!
I am learning to do my own Botox...
Figure 1: If you decide to do your own Botox, you totally deserve what you get. I love that she tells her audience to dilute their Botox in 100cc of saline. I would personally pay money to see her inject 100cc of saline into her face.
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 5:18 PM • 15 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
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Figure 1: The Periodic Table from today's BuzzFeed.
Posted by Isis the Scientist at 3:10 PM • 8 Comments • 0 TrackBacks
