On Becoming a Domestic and Laboratory Goddess

The domestic and laboratory goddess has had a lot she's wanted to write about lately. She's got about 8 unfinished posts in the queue and realizes that most of them have a fairly serious tone, little snark, and contain no shoes.   We can't have posts like that, now can we?  This is a busy time for Dr. Isis at MRU (as it is, frankly, for everyone at an MRU).  She's been laying down some incredibly hot science while also trying to make it home in time for Tuesday night swimming lessons and dinner and bed time and time with Mr. Isis and all of the other things that require her immediate attention.  Dr. Isis needed to be at work over the weekend and her solution, in order to not sacrifice family time, was to be at home until the Isis brood went down for a nap in the late afternoon and then come into work.  I really loved being able to be home with my family, but this also meant working late into the evening on Saturday and Sunday (as should be evidenced by my late night blogging exploits). 

The situation was not ideal and left me a bit sleep deprived, which I imagine is why I fell asleep in church this morning (today is a Holy Day of Obligation for us papists) with Little Isis.  Still, I realized that  moving my exploits to the late night hours are completely worth it when, as I was sleeping in church and the older lady next to be nudged me awake and frowned disapprovingly, Little Isis turned to her, scowled, and told her "Mommy is beautiful."   I realize one cannot read too much into the musings of a two year old, but it was almost as if he we were telling her, "Leave my mommy alone, you old bitty.  She's doing the best she can.  She's tired, but don't you notice what a good boy I am in church?  She's a good mommy." 

Figure 1: Little Isis will take on any old church ladies who dare mess with his mommy.  His mommy is beautiful (and totally hot).

Ok...I'm reading far too much into this, but sometimes we look for a little bit of help wherever we can get it.  With the economy in its current state, the domestic and laboratory goddess knows that she's not the only one looking for a little bit of help (I need to stop typing for a moment to pat myself on the back for that amazing segue way.  That was hotness if I've ever seen it).  Dr. Isis's sleep deprivation is a marginal problem compared to the number of people who face losing their livelihood, the homes, and their ability to care for their families.  I try to remember this personally when I whine about being tired or how much I have to finish at work.  But, now it seems that I also have to remember this professionally.  Allow me to explain:

This morning I was working and clicked over to CNN.  I saw an article entitled Unusual -- and Legal -- Ways to Make Money.  Dr. Isis is always game for reading about the unusual (provided it does not involve farm animals or latex bodysuits), so I decided to give it a read.  Imagine my utter horror and amazement when I found that CNN, an allegedly reputable news source, was advocating that one of the ways people could make make it in the struggling economy is by becoming professional research participants.  They highlight the story of Paul Clough who made $28,000 last year participating in, essentially, Phase I clinical trials.  Last year he allegedly had his blood drawn 500 times and ingested "more than" twelve different medications.  They link to his website where he describes in a series of You Tube videos how you too, you lucky devil, can become a professional drugtaker.  I won't link to it because I find the entire idea horrid.  What I find even more horrid is CNN's statement that:

Safety concerns include side effects or drug reactions, but for many volunteers, the payout outweighs the risks.

Figure 2: The major side effect of participating in a dozen clinical trials in a year that CNN did not make nearly clear enough is death.  I can't imagine the payout ever outweighing that risk.

I'm not naive.  I appreciate that there have probably been people who have participated in a study I have conducted purely for the $60 and all-you-can-drink juice and not for the pursuit of medical knowledge or my charming personality.  Still, I try to be diligent and assure that individuals are truly informed about the risks of what they are doing and that, to the best of my knowledge, they are not participating in any other protocols in combination with mine.  It's not good for them and, equally importantly, it's not good for science.  Those of us that are clinical investigators need to be aware of the factors that motivate an individual to participate in research and of the fact that, because of the current economic climate, it is increasingly possible to coerce participation with monetary payments.  The FDA notes in its guide for human volunteers:

Thus, some of the biggest payouts come from some of the most dangerous studies.  Still, the onus is upon us to make sure that we are offering these payments responsibly.  I've written before on numerous occasions about the need to safeguard human research participants, but we also need to safeguard the quality of our data.  Human participants involved in a number of concurrent protocols are not reflective of the general population and their data is likely confounded by their overzealous participation.  And frankly, I have found that people who participate in research purely to make a buck tend to be less motivated to adhere to the study requirements compared to individuals who have some level of interest in the science and its outcome.  At Dr. Isis's former MRU our clinical research center had a great system that kept track of individuals participating in in research.  When someone enrolled in a study, they went into the database and we were alerted if they they were participating (or had participated within the last 30 days) another protocol.  We were not necessarily alerted as to the nature of their participation in the other protocol, and it was often hard to turn someone away knowing you only needed 1 or 2 more volunteers, but it at least let us put the kibosh on their participation so that we didn't confound our data or that of the other investigator to whom they were already committed.

Such is the nature of human research.  Human research participants as a population (not individuals) are unreliable, can potentially confound the hell out of a study with a small sample size, and are motivated by all sorts of crazy things. Still, we have a responsibility to protect them and the quality of our data; I fear the current economic crisis may make this a more difficult task than before.

Figure 3: It is the responsibility of the investigator to ensure that we are not capitalizing on the desperation of others. 

I know things have been more science than domestic lately.  Hang in there, gentle readers, and on Friday you'll get a how-to post on tamale making.