For once, I will forgo the cute opening story (even though they are usually totally hot). Let's just get right to it. On Friday I received this letter from one of my fair readers.
Dear Dr. Isis,I have been preparing applications for a lot of REUs lately (yes, I know most of the deadlines have passed, but there's still a few left--maybe you can convince some of your Isisniks over in the math department by you to give some random guy an REU position?...maybe?...please?...ah, well), and they almost all invariably ask you to write some sort of personal statement type essay. What I'm wondering is how I should go about writing one of those essays. Should I treat it as a sort of college essay, spending weeks revising and editing it; or should I just give a bare-bones (ish) response, maybe running it through one or two revisions to make sure every thing was covered and that it flows logically?
From one of your humble little chickens (who has a slightly ironic pseudonym),
Fox J. Williamsonp.s. The deadlines are fast approaching, so I need an answer as soon as possible. Thanks so much!
First thing's first. Do any of you notice anything missing from this letter? Where is the abject worship? The blatant flattery? Fox, darling, you must not be a regular reader because, if you were, you'd know that the the letters that get answered here always begin with a good paragraph's worth of an ode to Dr. Isis's hotness. And the kiss of death, "I need a [blah, blah, blah] as soon as possible. Thanks so much!" You need nothing, little chicken. You will take the little scraps I throw in your direction and thank me for them. However, I appreciate that you are an undergraduate, and that this early in your career you might not know better. Still, now that you do, I expect 500-1000 words in the comments section of outright ass-kissing. Don't any of the rest of you get any ideas.
Figure 1: In the future, start by telling me something about my eyes. But, on to Fox's question.
I want to answer your question, Fox. I really, really do. But, I gotta be honest with you -- your question's leaving me feeling a little uneasy. You see, the question you seem to be asking is how much effort you really need to put into this essay in order to score an REU fellowship for the summer (for those of you who don't know what this is, click the link. I've worked with REU students and this program can be a tremendous opportunity). Well, come sit, little chicken, and let me tell you a story...
When Dr. Isis was but wee Niña Isis, Papa Isis used to sit with her every night while she did her homework. Papa Isis accepted no less than Niña Isis's best work. If homework wasn't done neatly, he would make her do it over again. On one occasion when Niña Isis did an especially half-assed job because she wanted to watch She-Ra, Papa Isis held up the sloppily done homework and unceremoniously set it on fire.
One another occasion, Niña Isis shoved a homework assignment into her backpack before leaving school and it crumpled in her bag. When she got it home, Papa Isis made her iron the wrinkles out of it with an iron. Papa Isis was hardcore.
The point of the story is, my father could always tell when I had done a half-assed job with something. The people who read your essay will also be able to smell half-assedness. It smells like a cross between those little pine trees that you hang in your car to freshen the air because you've been out smoking weed and are afraid your parents will catch you and gym socks. I can't tell you which strategy to use to write the essay, because I don't know how you work best, but I can tell you that you should decide how badly you want this fellowship and send in an essay of proportional quality. The people who read it will notice asshattery in a heartbeat. If you want this real, real bad, then you better write a real, real good essay, sweet Fox.
[Wow, the love is awfully tough tonight, isn't it? I think it's because I didn't get my ego stroked sufficiently at the beginning of this letter.]
Now, how do you write a good personal statement? I can offer you some basics and Female Science Professor has a great overview on how to do it here, but I think there is something else I can teach you that is much, much more important. I want you to brace yourself because it's going to sting a little.
You're not as good a writer as you probably think you are and the quicker you realize that, the better for all of us.
I know, I know. But, I wasn't either. It's still something I'm working on. I entered graduate school having never gotten less than an A- on an essay I had written in an English, Political Science, or Sociology class and thinking that writing was the least of my worries. Turns out, the exact opposite was true. I had little trouble assimilating the technical skills I needed to complete my thesis, but scientific writing is a completely different beast from the 5 paragraph essay of our high school years. The science writing class I took in graduate school was painful. Physically and emotionally painful, because it completely redefined how I write. Clarity, precision, and logical progression are valued in scientific communication and these are not skills that are emphasized in typical college writing courses.
Now when I write something it is often more of a collaborative process. Coauthors and collaborators help me with it, and I help others with their work. These collaborations are valuable because they have allowed me to appreciate the writing styles of others and incorporate the things I like into my own writing.
So, my advice to you, sweet Fox, is to go read Female Science Professor's advice and then write the best essay you can. Then, print the essay out, take it to your university's Writing Center and let someone there help you with it. Give it to a professor, fellow student, or graduate student you trust and ask for their assessment. In the end, you'll have a stronger essay.
Just don't give it to your mom. Us moms are far too blinded by the memory of how adorable our babies were in onesies to ever give real, critical feedback. If still you need help though, Papa Isis is probably available.
Education & Careers
Life Science
Comments
I agree with all of the above, O Isis (see? I pay attention and fawn in the comments). Except for the bit about not sharing with your mother because she thinks you're too cute to criticize, I no longer show ANY of my work to my mother until its set in stone as we have battles royale over comma placements *shudders*. One of the hardest parts of graduate school has absolutely having no pride when it comes to writing and realizing that the mountain of red marks on my paper just returned from my supervisor is him actually trying to help me...
Posted by: LadyLaptop | March 30, 2009 12:10 AM
Most beauteous Dr. Isis, Goddess of home and wardrobes everywhere (and the lab), I am just a humble servant, trying to improve myself in your image. I was moved by this post, and included a link to it in my baby blog, http://ladydid.blogspot.com/
After that shameless plug, I must say, as a former REU research student, your harsh response was warranted. Those students who really want to work at a University will submit far better essays than this student's "least amount of work to fulfill the requirement" paper. I hate seeing undergrads only half trying.
Posted by: ktbug ladydid | March 30, 2009 8:40 AM
Fox,
Listen to Isis. She is absolutely spot on. I know - I run an REU site. I receive many truly awful essays, ranging from sob stories that make me want to slit my wrists* to essays that are so ridiculous they make me laugh until tears are streaming. Your best bet is to customize your essay for each REU site you're applying to. Tell them why you want to be in THEIR program.
And if the deadlines are looming you had better be doing some serious ass-kissing of the people you want to write reference letters. They count for a LOT.
* I have no doubt that most of the sob stories we get are true and I truly feel for some of these people. But a long list of relatives who have died of various diseases won't get you into an REU program. Nor will the fact that your are living out of your car. Or a cardboard box. Sounds harsh, but that's the way it is. The goal of the REU program is to retain the best and brightest in STEM.
Posted by: Odyssey | March 30, 2009 8:43 AM
Ahem:
Oh, Isis,
goddess of lab and hearth
gratitude fountains forth
your wisdom illuminates
academia's darkest crevices.
How's that? ;)
Clarity, concision, and logical progression are Good in any writing, not just scientific writing.
I remember sitting on the floor in tears my first semester of college, with my essay cut out by paragraph, trying to arrangement the strips of paper. I got better, eventually knocking out an A- 50 pg paper in 24hrs.
Still, I second your advice - no one can see mistakes like a fresh pair of eyes. And half-assitude stinks!
Posted by: Courtney | March 30, 2009 8:57 AM
bare bones generally doesn't get you far anywhere, but this is especially true in science disciplines. consider from the viewpoint of the person reading this. they are going to spend their valuable time working with you- and yes, time is probably the most valuable thing you've got in the academic world- and if you can't be bothered to present more than a bare bones essay, it doesn't reflect very well that their time with you will be well-spent. they will move on to more promising applications.
in short, never show them a major weakness in an application. (yes, halfassitude is a big weakness.)
Posted by: leigh | March 30, 2009 9:32 AM
I cannot speak to REU essays, but I have read A LOT of medical school and residency assays. Sin #1 is halfassitude - we can tell if you are phoning it in, so to speak. Sin #2 in my book is boring me. The first couple of people who had a reative die of "disease X" and so now were pursuing careers to cure "disease X" were stirring. Now I'm trying to figure out how EVERYONE who wants to be a pediatrician has managed to have a sibling/child/cousin contract and/or die of some horrible illness. In short, this has become formulaic and, thus, BORING.
Of course, the ultimate sin is plagiarism. DO NOT under any circumstances "lift" an essay or even a portion of one. If you can find it, your reviewers can, too - even though over the age of 40 we can google!
So take the advice that preceded me. Write a real essay, and get others to read it through. By far the most important part of this work is telling a story that the reviewers can relate to and showing that you really give a damn about being considered for the fellowship.
Posted by: Pascale | March 30, 2009 10:22 AM
Oh lovely Isis, how right you are. As mentioned by everyone else here, "bare bones" clearly shows the person reading your essay that you don't care all that much about the position you are applying for. Even if you do. You need to wow the person you're asking to hire you for the summer because you are surely not the only applicant.
As for moms as good proof-readers: well, I asked my mom to proof-read my Master's proposal and she told me she was too busy. Hmph. I asked my boyfriend to proof-read it and he asked, "do I have to?" Thanks. It was only the most important document to me at the time. Moral of the story: Don't rely on significant others/family. Ask someone at school.
Posted by: x-ine | March 30, 2009 10:26 AM
It is also worth pointing out that essays play a much less important role in assessing applicants for these kinds of opportunities than demonstrated accomplishments: grades, prior research experiences, and letters of reference. When I assess grad school, MD/PhD, and fellowship applicants, I really only skim their essays, just to be sure they are not completely illiterate.
Posted by: Comrade PhysioProf | March 30, 2009 12:01 PM
It is also worth pointing out that essays play a much less important role in assessing applicants for these kinds of opportunities than demonstrated accomplishments: grades, prior research experiences, and letters of reference. When I assess grad school, MD/PhD, and fellowship applicants, I really only skim their essays, just to be sure they are not completely illiterate.
Agreed, although a poorly thought-out essay can kill an otherwise reasonable application. An outstanding applicant can (usually) survive a poor essay, but do you really want to take that chance? Our REU program gets a lot of applications from students with GPA's > 3.8 (not that we judge applicants purely on that). The success rate for applicants rivals that of current NIH R01's (i.e.
Oh, and extensive prior research experiences can actually hurt you when it comes to REU programs. One goal of the REU program is to give research experiences to students who don't have ready access to them. A little prior experience doesn't hurt. A lot does. And what is considered a little vs. a lot can vary tremendously from REU site to REU site.
And I cannot overstate the importance of really, really good reference letters.
Posted by: Odyssey | March 30, 2009 12:30 PM
Odd. My comment was mangled... It should have contained the following:
The success rate for applicants rivals that of current NIH R01's (i.e. less than about 10%).
Posted by: Odyssey | March 30, 2009 12:32 PM
Oh, Isis, you are so right, as usual. Fox, listen and learn. Learning how to write a scientific article will smash your inner poetic self. And, if you write something that somebody will read who may be only the smallest bit important for your future career , sit down and do it proper. There is no cheating in science. There is no not-proper-done. Science is, and must be, pure.
Posted by: Fia | March 30, 2009 3:01 PM
The REU I participated in as an undergrad put a really high emphasis on the statement of purpose- as Odyssey pointed out, some of them (including this one) were aimed at people without prior research experience. So your academic track record mattered, but they placed a lot of emphasis on the SOP. I remember they set us up a workshop for writing SOPs for grad/med school, and prefaced it with "You are all exceptional at writing these, or you wouldn't have gotten here".
So I'm inclined to think they can be *the* critical factor in some acceptance decisions for some programs.
Posted by: becca | March 30, 2009 3:21 PM
Oh wonderful lady of many flowers who grants wishes only to those who are worthy in her eyes and especially to those who adorn their feet with hot shoes, I think it might be possible, however unlikely it may be, that you have misunderstood my question. What I meant is whether I should write something like "I can often be found sitting crosslegged on my bed, notebook in my lap, scribbling equations wherever I can find room as I try to work out for myself why the Brouer [sp.] fixed point theorem is true" vs something like "I can often be found browsing the pages of Wikipedia and MathWorld scribbling equations onto a piece of paper as i try to understand articles about whatever I'm intersted in at the moment."
I guess "bare-bones" isn't quite the right word for the latter. The reason I was asking is cause I'm afraid if I lean too much towards the former, the professors reading it will get annoyed.
I think what (rightly) threw you off is when I mentioned that I'm starting late in the game. However, I'm determined not to let this affect my writing.
With much adoration,
Fox J Williamson
Posted by: Fox | March 30, 2009 3:25 PM
That was no where near the mandated 500-1000 words of ass-kissing by Fox. Just saying.
Posted by: Odyssey | March 30, 2009 3:46 PM
Fox,
For what it's worth, both of those sentences make you sound undisciplined and easily distracted. I don't want someone who thinks scribbling crosslegged on their bed or browsing Wikipedia is preparation for serious research. I haven't read any REU essays, but I think you would be much better served discussing an intersting lab experiment or assignment that sparked interest in your proposed activity and talking about relevant peer reviewed literature.
Just my $.02
Posted by: Female Engineering Professor | March 30, 2009 5:06 PM
Sploink!
Posted by: Odyssey | March 30, 2009 5:54 PM
I didn't quite get the difference between those two sentences (sitting in your dorm room browsing Wikipedia vs. writing in your notebook). What was the distinction you were trying to make there?
I was a reviewer for applications for an undergrad research opportunity last year and the best essays tended to show a basic understanding of important research questions in the field (e.g. not just "I have loved physics ever since I was a little kid", but "I'm interested in x specific topic that Dr. so-and-so is working on in your lab"). The worst tended to
a) not use proper grammar or sentence structure so that I had to read a paragraph multiple times to figure out what was being said and
b) be extremely vague (e.g. statements like "I am eager to do hands-on research. I think it will help me to prepare for a career in science." or "Oceanography is a very important field of study because it helps tell us about our oceans.")
Posted by: Jessica | March 30, 2009 8:35 PM
...
Odyssey said...
OMG. there is a minimum word count now for 'rehab' comments..?!?
Sh!t.
...tom...
.
Posted by: ...tom... | March 31, 2009 1:19 AM
...
Jessica commented/quoted...
...truelol...
Get many applications from fifth-graders..??
...tom...
.
Posted by: ...tom... | March 31, 2009 1:24 AM
Get many applications from fifth graders?
Well, no, the program was for undergrads. My point being that even college students (or anybody else) can write a bad essay if they don't put enough time into planning it and targeting it toward the intended reader.
I noticed that Fox is a math major, rather than a student in a lab-based or field-based science. I was a math major in undergrad so I can sympathize with the difficulty of getting research experience, especially early on at a school where there are lots of grad students. So don't worry if you don't have a lab experience to write about, but do try to find some specific area of math that you can sound convincingly interested in. I think saying that you browse Wikipedia for articles about "whatever I'm interested in at the moment" will make you sound flighty, as Female Engineering Professor said. Instead, try to demonstrate to the reader that you've gone beyond just Wikipedia (i.e. books or peer-reviewed journals or "serious" magazines) and that you know some of the applications of whatever area of math you're interested in and what some of the active areas of research in that field are.
Posted by: Jessica | March 31, 2009 8:40 AM
I'm liking some of the more poetic forms of praising the benevolent goddess.
Posted by: Academic | March 31, 2009 11:32 AM
With my examples, I was more trying to get across the difference in voice rather than specifically looking into something. They aren't actually quotes from my essay.
Posted by: Fox | March 31, 2009 4:44 PM
Okay,
So what we're saying is that there wasn't any difference in voice. They are both long and as Simon Cowell would say, self-indulgent.
Posted by: Female Engineering Professor | March 31, 2009 8:29 PM
A tip for Fox:
When attempting to clarify something, especially in the clouded world of written discourse, it is more polite to say "I think I should explain my question more" or "I think I didn't explain my question that well, I meant..." rather than "I think you misunderstood my question". You see how the tone shifts subtly between the two examples?
Other tip:
Find papers from their lab (go to google scholar, search for name of lab head + subject term eg 'algorithm'). Recent paper are better. Find something in one of the papers you think is good. Say so and say why - experimental design elegant? Good figures? Clear proofs?
Read papers, remember author names. When you meet them at interview, you may be more able to remember who does what.
For goodness' sake do not even MENTION Wikipedia. It's like porn - we all want that quick easy info-fix sometimes, but don't tell your date, mom or boss that.
O Isis of the Waters, Wearer of the Shoes, Promulgator of teh Hot Science. May my poor humble offering not sully the shining walls of this Palace of words. Thy blog is a House of Jade and Pearls, a Necklace of Emeralds and Diamonds, a pair of Naughty Monkeys in my size in the discount shoe rack of life. Thy eyes are pools of wisdom and Thy hair a waterfall of grace and sweet perfumes. I beseech you, cast your august attention upon me, lest I shrivel and die; but do so lightly, lest I perish in ecstasy.
Posted by: JPop | April 1, 2009 9:02 AM
Courtney, you must have read FASEB Journal's "Writing Science: The Abstract is Poetry, the Paper is Prose" by the Editor-in-Chief Gerald Weissmann. It comes highly recommended for any of you currently writing some hot science.
This has now spawned a bit of a competition in my group to compose the best limericks, leading to a number of funny exchanges.
I must agree with the most gracious comments of our dear Dr. Isis, Fox. Put yourself in the receiving party's position and imagine reading 100 or so of these personal statements. Making yourself stand out involves somethign other than describing sitting on your bed scribbling equations, regardless of how hard-core it makes you feel.
Posted by: NO(dot)Guy | April 1, 2009 11:10 AM