Yesterday morning I announced the beginning of my Letters to Our Daughters Project. It is both fitting and an absolute pleasure that the introductory letter should come from amazing female scientist/physician, frequent commenter, and tech-savvy blogger, Pascale Lane, MD. Read her latest thoughts on when to have children as a career academic here. She is spot on.
Dr. Lane is the Helen Freytag Distinguished Professor of Pediatrics, Physiology, and Biophysics and Associate Chair for Research in Pediatrics at the University of Nebraska. There, she studies the development of nephropathy in pediatric diabetes. To date, as a physician scientist, she has authored 56 peer reviewed publications and book chapters. She is a member of the American Physiological Society's Animal Care and Experimentation Committee. I am thankful that she has been a recently very vocal advocate of the role blogging can play in the scientific community. She is a tremendous ally.
Once upon a time, there was a woman who felt that her gender should not be an issue in her career. She wanted to be treated as an equal, she acted like she was equal, and the men called her a bitch.
Bitch -noun
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1. |
a female dog. |
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2. |
a female of canines generally. |
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3. |
Slang.
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4. |
Slang.
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Why does this 5 letter word have such power over women? We are raised to be "nice." Malicious, unpleasant, and selfish are the opposite of this goal; however, this means that demanding equality may appear bitchy! At so many gatherings I have heard women ask how they can get their needs met without being called a bitch (generally these women spell the word rather than say it). The short answer? You cannot! Anytime you assert your needs and put yourself ahead of someone else, others may call you a "female dog."
When my daughter was starting middle school, I explained the world to her in my own warped way. I give my students the same advice. If you have a voice that gets heard in the world, someone will call you a bitch. If you perform acts of kindness and charity, someone will say that the bitch is showing off! If you show more spine than a jelly fish, someone eventually will brand you a bitch. Accept it. If someone calls you a bitch, you are probably doing something right.
About a year later a classmate turned to her and called her a bitch. She thanked him for noticing, and then related how she had not reached her mother's level of "bitchdom" yet. He said nothing more, and did not try to insult her the rest of the year. She came home from school empowered rather than insulted.
Now, this advice does not mean you should be a bitch. Do not be mean or evil, and never treat those lower than you on the ladder of life with contempt. Always have a sounding board of friends who can help you determine the line between reasonable and bitchy. Sometimes you will cross the line, but, with their help, you will recognize this behavior and apologize for it. If you find yourself crossing the line too often, you may need to reexamine your attitudes and behavior. Do not be afraid to do this and make necessary adjustments. It is called "growth."
Someday I hope we get beyond the name-calling, but until then take pride in some bitchiness. It may just mean you are acting like a human being instead of an invertebrate. It may just mean you are living your life.
Pascale Lane
Education & Careers
Medicine & Health
Comments
*applause*
And more applause for the daughter!
Posted by: cicely | May 1, 2009 1:00 PM
Pascale hit the nail squarely on the head! (My main problem now is how to create an equally-insightful and entertaining Letter to Our Daughters...)
Posted by: glfadkt | May 1, 2009 1:10 PM
"That's Doctor Bitch to you."
Can't wait to see my daughter wear that one.
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | May 1, 2009 1:11 PM
Outstanding. I wish it had been put so neatly for me all those years ago...
Posted by: cesiumclock | May 1, 2009 1:21 PM
Wonderful! Thanks Dr. Isis - this is a great idea. And thanks to Dr. Pascale for a beautiful letter.
Posted by: ambivalent academic | May 1, 2009 1:34 PM
*standing ovation*
Here's to the bitches!
Posted by: jc | May 1, 2009 1:35 PM
That is one real bitchen letter!
Posted by: Danimal | May 1, 2009 1:47 PM
Fantastic advice!
Posted by: MCH | May 1, 2009 5:49 PM
Really powerful essay, Dr. Lane. Thank you.
Posted by: Candid Engineer | May 1, 2009 6:08 PM
Not how I was raised at all.
Posted by: Juniper Shoemaker | May 1, 2009 6:19 PM
An outstanding start to your project and a wonderful letter. Thank you Dr. Isis and Dr. Lane.
Marty
Posted by: Marty Frank | May 1, 2009 9:32 PM
this was wonderful... looking forward to seeing more in the future!
Posted by: leigh | May 1, 2009 11:05 PM
I need to save this post, and will have to save the letters as they come in. I am about as potentially screwed as a father can be. I am a middle aged white man. My wife and I waited too long to try and have children on our own, so we adopted. By all indications, my daughter who is currently 5, will grow up to be a beautiful fiercely proud black woman. I'll need all the help I can find to get through her teenage years. Thanks for the help.
Posted by: LBBP | May 2, 2009 11:28 AM
Great advice!
Posted by: sciencegirl | May 2, 2009 11:31 AM
This looks like a series worth saving (my 8 y.o. isn't ready yet). Is there any way you could implement a "print view" on your blog that gets rid of all the blogrolls and extra stuff and just lets me print the post?
Posted by: janet | May 2, 2009 11:34 AM
Brilliant letter Dr. Lane, and thanks for initiating this wonderful project, Dr. Isis. I wish I'd had this perspective when I started my PhD and was the only female in a lab of 15 - at least I had a good sense of if by the time I defended!
By the way, dearest and most divine goddess of hotness, Dr. Isis...if you are taking suggestions for strong female science role models in other fields, I highly recommend you solicit a letter from Dr. Jacqueline Barton - an amazing chemist and a fabulous role model.
Posted by: Alyson | May 2, 2009 11:36 AM
Alyson, thank you for the recommendation. I will contact her!
Janet, I can think about more ways to provide the letters, but if I can get enough momentum going, I have a plan to combine them into an anthology a la Open Lab and use the proceeds to fund something awesome. Now I just need to find someone else who is willing to take my money.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | May 2, 2009 11:39 AM
This is fucking great! Isis, I suggest you contact Eve Marder, distinguished neuroscientist at Brandeis University. I bet she would be more than happy to provide you with a great letter.
Posted by: Comrade PhysioProf | May 2, 2009 12:36 PM
It's akin to that old trope "I am steadfast, you are stubborn, he's obstinate" but with added sexism.
Posted by: Monado | May 2, 2009 12:56 PM
I'd like to nominate Drs. Ariane Toussaint (ULB, Brussels, BE) and Elisabeth Grohmann (TUB, Berlin, DE), both strong women, great scientists and wonderful human beings.
Posted by: Chelonian | May 2, 2009 2:22 PM
Fuck yes.
Posted by: Jessica | May 2, 2009 7:44 PM
Thank you for this letter! powerful as hell and says it all
Posted by: Indyeah | May 3, 2009 1:18 AM
Thank you Dr. Isis (and Dr. Lane!)
I've printed this out for my daughter, who starts high school next year. She wants to be either a Tony-award winning actor, or a mathematician - she's not sure yet.
She was lucky to have a great personal role model in one of her martial arts teachers, a single mother who earned her third-degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and her philosophy degree from Berkeley at the same time. That woman was one helluva bitch!
Posted by: Joe Max | May 3, 2009 8:17 AM
Thank you for writing this letter.
And best wishes to your daughter... she is lucky to have such a mother!
Posted by: Marta | May 3, 2009 10:55 AM
This is fantastic! As a junior in high school who is involved in two male dominated worlds - science (I plan on majoring in Biology) as well as jazz (I play trumpet - a macho instrument if there ever was one) - this is incredibly inspiring. I really cannot wait to read the rest. And what's this anthology of which you speak? Because I'm definitely interested.
Thank you so much!
Posted by: Lucy | May 3, 2009 11:30 AM
Judith Howard of Durham might be a good choice, too.
Never got to know her personally, I'm afraid (despite being offered a post doc), but she's certainly a woman who's made it far.
Posted by: Sili | May 3, 2009 12:19 PM
Oh, I would totally love an anthology too! Thanks Dr. Isis for organizing another wonderful resource for us budding PhDs...*kowtows*
Posted by: Nekohime | May 4, 2009 12:56 AM
Thank you also to Dr. Lane! (hit enter too soon on my last post, oops)
Posted by: Nekohime | May 4, 2009 1:00 AM
Love it!! What an awesome letter! I have to let my 14-yr old daughter read it. Let me say it again, yea for you Pascale - this is empowering and inspiring.
Posted by: Wendee Holtcamp | May 4, 2009 6:38 PM
May I nominate Dr. Jessica Kissinger, University of Georgia. Now Associate prof, she is a fantastic mentor, role model and a lot of standing up for myself I learned from her.
Posted by: anonymous-female post-doc | May 5, 2009 1:44 PM
[...Their letters, while intended for fellow scientifically inclined women, strike me as relatable to other paths. ...]
Wonderful post, great idea for a project and I like the idea of an anthology.
Posted by: Hannah | May 6, 2009 5:36 PM
Thank you Dr. Lane! I found your letter empowering!
Posted by: S | May 7, 2009 11:13 AM
Dr. Lane, This letter is fantastic. Thank you so much! I just might read it to my middle school girls' group today.
Posted by: Kelsey | May 7, 2009 12:21 PM
This is an awesome idea.
Can I suggest a couple women from my field (structural geology/tectonics)?
- Dr. Tanya Atwater (UC Santa Barbara): brought plate tectonics to the continents by figuring out the San Andreas Fault; did marine geology when everyone on ships thought women were bad luck. Incredibly inspiring to students - she spoke here last year, and my students now want to be her when they grow up.
- Dr. Jan Tullis, Brown University: first women to receive the career contribution award in structural geology, recipient of Association for Women Geoscientists Outstanding Educator Award
Posted by: Kim Hannula | May 8, 2009 11:17 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have a male adviser now, who I occasionally have to be a "bitch" to, and it makes me really appreciate how amazing my adviser during my undergraduate was. She would no doubt write a great letter! Dr. Isis, I know you're getting lots of recommendations, but please consider emailing Ann Hornschemeier Cardiff at Goddard.
Posted by: ladyzekis | May 29, 2009 12:31 PM
Brava! To one bitch from another. I look forward to those to follow as well.
Posted by: Amy | July 22, 2009 3:00 PM