Let's all be honest. I love to read about myself and basically Google myself 10-20 times a day. I can't help it. It's how I roll. This is my favorite thinhg said about me today:
ugh... truly dislike patronizing people... even worse when read on blog by "anonymous" scientist that hides behind pseudonym. blech.
It is bested only by this from the same source:
for some reason she lost me w/ the language (i.e. no need 4 the F-bomb). Hard 2 take someone seriously when they resort 2 that
Well, fuck. Although, I suspect that someone who is put off by a few uses of the word "fuck" might be the kind of person who'd buy this:
People crack me up.
Comments
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's hard 2 take someone seriously when they use numbers 4 words. At least fuck is a motherfucking WORD!!!!!!!!!
OK, seriously. As I watched that video, I was all like "extends your reach by 18 inches!?!?!? What the fuck is the relavance of that to wiping your motherfucking ass??" And then my question was answered.
Posted by: Comrade PhysioProf | June 18, 2009 5:56 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That looks a lot harder to use than your arm. Wrists are kind of useful for wiping your own ass. That stick doesn't have one. I kept hoping they would show a demonstration to put my poor overtaxed imagination at ease. No such luck. Isis, where do you find this shit?
Posted by: ambivalent academic | June 18, 2009 6:09 PM
While it's there, it can brush your teeth as well.
But srsly, i know a lot of people who for anatomical reasons might find value in such brave new tech.
Posted by: PalMD | June 18, 2009 6:11 PM
I don't think the postdoc union will be cool with your labor-replacing device.
Posted by: DrugMonkey | June 18, 2009 6:33 PM
What are you blathering about, Brother Drug? Post docs don't get a freaking union!
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 18, 2009 6:44 PM
Yes, but don't they have to wipe OTHER people's asses? And if so, OSHA might appreciate the gift.
Posted by: PalMD | June 18, 2009 6:45 PM
Once upon a time there was no vaccine for rubella, but there was a commonly-used sedative called "thalidomide."
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 18, 2009 6:45 PM
Can we play Jeopardy?
The answer is "noses and lips."
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 18, 2009 6:47 PM
PalMD- so you know postdocs? (since PI's frequently have the anatomical abnormality required for toothbrushing?).
Posted by: becca | June 18, 2009 7:03 PM
Dr. Isis: You have officially made my day. Will you marry me?
Posted by: ElectroFizzz | June 18, 2009 7:10 PM
What the fucking fuck? I'm with AA - where's the goddamned demonstration. I can see the user hitting the side of the toilet bowl a couple of times before eventually finding their ass ... yep, that's MUCH cleaner than holding the toilet paper.
Posted by: Professor in Training | June 18, 2009 8:42 PM
ElectroFizzz, I will only marry you if you promise to always be my roommate and come hang out with Minerva and me.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 18, 2009 9:05 PM
Some people can't wipe their own arses! Hahahahaha! Isn't it fun to mock the disabled!!!
Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook | June 18, 2009 9:41 PM
Meh. But, it's always funny to mock people who don't want to touch toilet paper.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 18, 2009 9:44 PM
I think the best part is the blatant hypocrisy of saying 'toilet paper is SO gross and outdated', and then saying 'so here's a HOLDER for your gross, outdated toilet paper'. Honestly, I wanted something better. Like a automatically cleaning sponge that wipes your ass and also exfoliates those hard to reach areas.
Posted by: Scicurious | June 18, 2009 10:00 PM
Funny, but it looks like something one would stick up the ass. Does it have vibration? That was never explained. Then no back and forth motion required. Where can I buy one?/humor
Posted by: Danimal | June 18, 2009 10:03 PM
And if you catch a few people with birth defects, well, they're good for a laugh too.
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 18, 2009 10:15 PM
@D. C. Sessions: You lost me, your link was not funny and I do not understand what point you are trying to make????
Posted by: Danimal | June 18, 2009 10:39 PM
Isis, you are an insensitive bitch!
I hope you end up with hands like these so we can all laugh at your inability to hold things:
http://www.bio.davidson.edu/Courses/Immunology/Students/Spring2003/Super/handsofRA.jpg
Or, because that takes time to develop, I hope you trip over one of Little Isis's toys, lose your balance and fall forward to get a bilateral Colles fracture:
http://z.about.com/d/orthopedics/1/0/2/1/fxapcolles.jpg
Your students may be willing to kiss your ass, but will they wipe it for you?
Posted by: Tsu Dho Nimh | June 18, 2009 10:41 PM
It wasn't supposed to be funny. I guess I'm the odd one out in that I don't find it amusing when people need help taking very basic care of themselves.
Maybe it comes from growing up before the polio vaccine, or from having neighbors whose daughter was crippled by meningitis, or from working with quadroplegics, or having colleagues with radial clubfoot, or from taking care of teenagers with bilateral silver fork (Colles') fractures. Or maybe it's just the way I was raised.
Anyway, too late now -- I'm the way I am and set in my ways.
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 18, 2009 10:48 PM
HA HA HA. Did you even watch the commercial? "Toilet paper is archaic and disgusting" "For centuries we have been scrunching and folding..." The ComfortWipe as an improvement to ass wiping for the everyday dude is HILARIOUS.
You are one hell of a Googler, Tsu Dho. Glad to see that I have regained a spot in your bookmarks after you vowed to stop reading me.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 18, 2009 10:49 PM
My first thought to the "the first improvement to toilet paper since the 1880s!" was actually that it isn't (specifically, I am led to believe that the Japanese have rendered toilet paper completely obsolete ["Bidet function? Check. Massager? Check. Seat warmer? Check. White-noise? Check. Fan? Check."]).
Ableism is ugly and it is Not Cool to laugh at people who would need this sort of accessory- although it seems so awkward to use I did not immediately realize it would actually make necessary processes easier for anyone.
That said, I still kind of think it is sad/funny to laugh at people who would use this out of pure hygiene concern (the first woman who describes TP as "archaic and disgusting" is a hilarious bad actress, whatever else can be said about the video. Although maybe she is mentally disabled so it is wrong to laugh at her too?)
Posted by: becca | June 18, 2009 11:02 PM
" . . . or if you're someone who just doesn't want to touch the dirty toilet paper . . ."
Yeah. This is definitely the aspect I thought we were all laughing at when I first watched this commercial. Because that's hilariously nonsensical. TP is a lot less "archaic and disgusting" than gnawed corncobs or straw from the castle stables. And whoever buys this thing solely because she doesn't want to touch her toilet paper is still going to own a plastic rod that gets regularly soiled on one end.
When I went to visit my relatives in Korea, I was treated to all these awesomely fancy toilets with awesomely fancy settings. Bidets will really clean up someone suffering from traveler's diarrhea good.
Posted by: Juniper Shoemaker | June 18, 2009 11:20 PM
Yes, I saw the video. It's about as funny as a video making fun of special bras for women with big breasts, doncha think?
I immediately thought of a lab tech I used to work with who had a birth defect that left her with forearms less than 6 inches long. I also thought of my best high school friend's mum who was so severely crippled by RA that she could barely feed herself, a 15-year old girl I splinted with cardboard and duct tape for bilateral Colles fractures ... and I can't laugh at them, or anything that could make their lives easier.
Posted by: Tsu Dho Nimh | June 18, 2009 11:32 PM
Call me crazy, but I think the only person Dr. Isis was trying to make fun of was the person she found kvetching about her via a Google search. My first thought when made aware of that product was that someone who actually NEEDED it probably had bigger problems. However, I don't think they are aiming the commercial at the disabled; they are looking for either lazy or germophobic people.
If you choose to interpret this post as a jab at the disabled, I guess you are also offended by people who run for recreation--how dare they since some people can't run? They are mocking people in wheelchairs! I should go kill myself right now.
Sheesh, people, relax.
Posted by: Minerva | June 18, 2009 11:51 PM
Minerva did you actually watch the entire video?
Probably a number of us (myself included) didn't watch it very carefully at first, and were mostly influenced by the first impression (of weird bad acctress lady). But the very fact we don't pay attention to the big guy, the older woman, or the people with limited mobility is likely the result of ableism. And if you didn't realize it- you just equated disability with laziness. Sheesh, people, MATURE.
Posted by: becca | June 19, 2009 12:15 AM
While the commercial is terribly done, I'm with becca, Tsu Dho Nimh, and Sessions. Even if you didn't intend to laugh at people with disabilities, that's what you're doing and it's wrong.
Posted by: LostMarbles | June 19, 2009 1:27 AM
Obviously one shouldn't laugh at disabled people, or forget that they exist when one is able... However, what do you think of the fact that only apparently able people appear in the commercial? Is it not like saying "think about the disabled, but don't worry we'll not show any to you, they are too ugly to look at..."? Then it's probably just a very bad commercial, period.
However, the outraged reactions remind me of this story by a friend who attended a Children's litterature course in Boston: most of the students were outraged by a book entitled "ten little toes" or someting along those lines - because after all not all children have ten toes...! Isn't that a bit of an excessive reaction, folks?
Posted by: NewPostdoc | June 19, 2009 1:31 AM
Get a grip people, no one is laughing at the disabled. I watched the whole thing and for the first 30 seconds I was like WTF, since it was a blond blued eyed ABLE-BODIED person talking about how disgusting and archaic toilet paper was. I was like WTF?? IF they were trying to market to people who actually NEED a device like this, as indicated in the last 10 seconds by the elderly woman and the obese man, well its a pretty craptastic attempt at advertising. Obviously NOONE would laugh at that.
Posted by: ScientistMother | June 19, 2009 2:54 AM
I think some of you are over-analyzing this. We'd all have no problem with the commercial if it focused on the number and type of people it might assist. Instead, it spends the majority of the time focusing on a relatively attractive, able-bodied female who's just too freaked out to touch toilet paper. It's just...odd marketing. Especially when you consider how many "scary germs" are on the toilet seat itself.
Posted by: ktbug ladydid | June 19, 2009 7:35 AM
Or like women here who are pissed off about a gender issue that the "d00ds" recognize as being trivial?
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 19, 2009 9:15 AM
Yeah, in respone to the outrage, what's funny is not the product per se... I am sure it is very useful to people who for whatever reason have difficulty wiping their own ass, and my heart goes out to those people. What's funny, though, is the marketing, and if you don't see the humor in it, I don't know what to tell you.
Also, and I say this as someone who is 5'9 and 230 lbs, what the fuck is the fat guy talking about when he says "There are advantages to being a big guy"?! I suppose if you are going to play lineman in the NFL (interior linemen who weigh 280 are on the light side), but I don't think there's a lot of NFL players who are unable to wipe their own ass...
Posted by: James Sweet | June 19, 2009 9:25 AM
Okay, look at like this: When we laugh at the "I've fallen and I can't get up!" commercial, does that mean we think it's funny when elderly people break their hip? No! Actually, my mother recently got one of those LifeAlert things, and let me tell you, it is very much not funny to think about the fact that she might very well have to use it someday.
That doesn't in the slightest diminish the hilarity of the "I've fallen and I can't get up!" commercial. At least not for me. We can laugh at bad marketing, even when the product being marketed is deadly serious. If you can't, then you have lost all sense of humor and you must live in a cold, bleak world.
Posted by: James Sweet | June 19, 2009 9:28 AM
No one markets a product to be used specifically for those who are differently abled in this manner. Wheelchairs that can be customized for specific contractures and controls that can work with a particular patient's limitations get marketed to patient groups and the professionals who work with them. What gets marketed this way? Scooters. Now, I don't deny that scooters help some minimally limited elderly preserve their independence, but many of these people are not "disabled" in the medical sense.
While I can see this device perhaps helping some with ability limitations, you still have to have the manual dexterity to put the toilet paper in the clamp, manipulate the "wand" to the area of concern, generate enough pressure to do the job, and then push the button firmly enough to dispel the used debris. Those tasks are not trivial, and I don't see this being a great boon for those who have suffered many neurological illnesses. They are not a large enough market for this sort of ad campaign, either.
No, these folks have made a commercial to appeal to people who feel too "fastidious" to touch toilet paper. I mean, I know someone who won't hold the handrails on stairs or escalators because they are so germy - this is the market! And this company will probably make more this year than I will in my lifetime. So while I'm laughing at their lame commercial (and definitely not at the differently abled who, as a pediatric subspecialist, I work with every day), they are laughing all the way to the bank.
BTW, Consumer Reports tested the gripper they use on the tub at the end of the commercial and said it was pretty useless.
Posted by: Pascale | June 19, 2009 10:37 AM
People, nobody wants to use a product for old ladies and fatties! It's actually a very common marketing strategy- associate product use with Pretty Girl (granted, they failed miserably by picking such a vapid one, in this particular case- but even that is hardly unique).
How many advertisements are really advertised showing a typical user of the product? Do you see Pizza Hut delivery commercials from sad drunk girls that just got dumped and want nothing more to stay in bed all day and binge? Do you see Viagra commercials for men that look like they actually *need* the product (well, maybe Bob Dole...)?
Have any of you seen the ad for the hearing aid "Loud 'N Clear" ("it turns ordinary hearing, into extraordinary hearing!")? It's the same problem. They use a younger woman spying on gossipy neighbors ("ever wonder what people are saying when you can't hear them? With Loud 'N Clear, you can discretely listen in!"). The idea is that it's better to be germophobic, or completely obsessed with what people say about you, then to have limited mobility or deafness. The ads are predicated on an ableist society the same way the "hot girls in bikinis and lab coat" pictures Isis finds are pedicated on a patriarchy. I'm not outraged about the ads, or about laughing at them. I'm pointing out that there is a systematic oppression underlying the communication here.
Posted by: becca | June 19, 2009 11:35 AM
I see a lot more scooters with casts at work than I do crutches. Having been one-legged twice last year, I truly wish I'd gotten the scooter the first time because the mobility difference is enormous.
Of course most people can count on never breaking a leg or anything like that.
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 19, 2009 11:53 AM
I found this whole post very strange. First, I googled "Isis the Scientist" to see what kind of dumb asses are talkin' trash about the esteemed goddess. Well, I didn't find a single negative comment. (Maybe I'm doing it wrong.) Next, I googled myself and was horrified to see a few dreadful photographs and lots of off the cuff (not meant to be taken seriously) comments that I've posted. Not to mention some crap from Amazon and my goodreads account. Yikes. I haz a lot to learn about the internets. How do you erase this stuff?!
The commercial, silly as it is, I found very, very sad for some reason. I think because the intended market is the morbidly obese (of course you don't use fat people in commercials unless you're making a joke of some sort) and although I am rather substantial myself, I've taken care of plenty of people twice and three times my size, once in a while a patient is FOUR times my size. The germ-phobes and disabled (in other ways) are just an effort to broaden the market. Obese people really do suffer and I find the fact that there are people who are, for whatever reason, unable to wipe their own asses sad and horrible.
Posted by: Catharine | June 19, 2009 11:57 AM
You don't.
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 19, 2009 1:49 PM
@D. C. Sessions
Perhaps I was being insensitive, sorry.
Posted by: Danimal | June 19, 2009 5:50 PM
I confess I was so taken with the image of those unwilling to wipe themselves I overlooked the plight of those who are unable. Thanks D.C. And Catharine for the correction.
Posted by: DrugMonkey | June 19, 2009 7:41 PM
D.C. and Becca, you both thought this commercial was funny until someone else accused Isis of cruelly laughing at the disabled.
Does this change the salient point that Becca makes at #35? No. I was really annoyed with you, Becca, until that comment.
But I still thought I'd point it out.
I'm also going to be the only person on this thread who points out that it is every bit as sick to wish some horrendous accident on Isis as it is to laugh at the disabled. You don't get brownie points for making your point that way.
Posted by: Juniper Shoemaker | June 19, 2009 8:00 PM
JS, I don't think you're reading #7 the way I wrote it.
(It wouldn't be the first time I had to try again on this thread.)
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 19, 2009 9:57 PM
Juniper- yeah, I can see the annoyance. Righteous indignation feels awesome and everything, but I'm not as funny as Isis when she does it. Anyway I'm probably more persuasive if I (honestly) admit I can see where people are coming from with the amused response- basically +1 to what DM said.
Posted by: becca | June 19, 2009 10:49 PM
I've seen this product advertised in Gold Violin, a catalog I get and from which I have ordered things for my mother (special shoes for diabetic feet, gel cushion for her chair, etc.) and have always thanked god that so far she has not needed something like this. I knew without clicking on the video what it was about, and maybe because I've spent so much time in my mom's assisted living home in the past 1.5 years, I just cringed at seeing this as an object of laughter and amusement. I am heartened, however, to see that several people on this thread have spoken up about how uncool it is to laugh at the expense of the disabled and elderly. I can see where Isis was headed, and that she didn't intend to make fun of the disabled and elderly, only the overly prissy and super-sensitive, but I'm glad the ensuing discussion took the turn it did. Hopefully some people had their eyes opened a little to the ableism rampant in our culture - and Becca nicely points out how it's even embedded in, used to, sell products intended for the disabled.
Posted by: Zuska | June 19, 2009 11:02 PM
If everyone had a washlet, there wouldn't be this problem.
(side note: Noooo!!! It used to be a cutesy site with smiling butts, I kid you not! Now it just goes directly to the manufacturer site! That sucks.)
Posted by: Carlie | June 19, 2009 11:28 PM
No worries, DCS. It would definitely not be the first time that my reading comprehension utterly Failed. And I have appreciated the vast majority of your comments since the "Professor Breast Man" unpleasantness.
@becca: I really appreciate your observations in #35. I originally thought this commercial was poorly executed. I didn't think there was anything remotely funny about people needing help with wiping themselves. (In fact, I don't think anyone in this thread did.) It's just that I was fixated on the bad able-bodied actress and the notion that a person perfectly capable of wiping her own butt without assistance should nonetheless be vexed and alarmed by having to touch her own toilet paper . . . like a spoiled little child or an ignoramus.
It didn't even occur to me that this might have been a very deliberate marketing ploy in compliance with the stigma associated with physical disability. That's because I have the luxury of not having to consider this.
That's exactly how privilege works. Lately, I have been trying to pay more attention to ways that I'm blinded by the privilege conferred by what majority/powerful groups I do belong to. I'm a minority female descended from America's "untouchable" caste, but I'm also heterosexual and able-bodied. It's eye-opening to viscerally realize why a lot of my acquaintances don't understand and/or outright dismiss my racial experiences. I will definitely try to be more careful in the future.
Posted by: Juniper Shoemaker | June 20, 2009 2:58 AM
Cath:
That's beside the point. People with disabilities can already get things like this and have known about them for a long time. This isn't being marketed to people with disabilities. It's been marketed primarily to the lazy and easily squicked.
Posted by: Brian X | June 21, 2009 1:43 AM
"What ... is the relavance of that to wiping your ... ass??"
Clearly, you have never had a lower back injury. And you get your giggles laughing at people with disabilities. Very wise, very savvy, very cool.
Posted by: Jacques Bouvier | July 19, 2009 10:31 AM