I've got a real feminist-y, science-y, totally hot post coming for you later, but I am unable to post at the moment because I am contemplating my own demise.
You see, today I did a horrible, horrible thing and I am paying the price. Oh, am I paying the price.
This morning, in an effort to get a screaming, flailing, kicking Little Isis out the door and on his way to school, I forgot to grab my lunch. Now, I really admire my coworkers who seem to be like little chimpmunks -- able to tuck food away in some hidden compartment for 24-36 hours and not have to eat over that entire period. I do not have that ability. Twenty-four food-less hours leaves me absolutely, completely irrational and yelling things from my office like, "Your only job this week is to keep that boy away from me. That's it!!!"
In my moment of profound weakness I turned to the only source of food within a 3 mile radius of my office. I went to Subway.
Damn it.
I'm not sure what it is, but I think that Subway must bake something into their bread that sucks away your happiness and your very life force, making you feel like you'll never know joy again. Now I've just got this big ball of evil in my stomach with 6 grams of fat or less, and I am even more bitchy than I was before I ate it.
I feared as I sat in my office, seething with fresh baked contempt and an underwhelming amount of meat and vegetables, that nothing could improve my mood and that all would be forced to face my wrath for the duration of the day. But then, like an angel of mercy descended upon my inbox, I noticed an email in my inbox from the world famous and very important Dr. Martin Frank of the American Physiological Society. He writes:
Dr. Isis,It has basically made my entire life to know that people in the American Physiological Society office are chatting about shoes during the day, sending pictures of shoes to each other, and generally just noticing hot footwear. I commented on this to to the esteemed Dr.
As a lover of shoes, I thought I would send you the link for some truly interesting shoes that was sent to me by Linda Allen, APS Meetings Director. While they are not quite as "hot" as those your normally feature they are radical!
Marty
So, now there are not only hot shoes floating around the APS, but a whole scientific session on hot shoes?!?! At Experimental Biology, maybe? I have, of course, demanded to chair it and am awaiting the particulars so that I may invite speakers to present on the physiology of footwear. I am totally open to suggestions. You can leave them in the comments section and I will give them all the attention and respect they deserve.
Dr. Isis:
You have clearly moved those of us at APS to a higher plain! We are actually considering a scientific session on the physiology of shoes!
You can post on our behalf.Marty
Then I opened to attached shoe picture from Marty and found these:
I won't lie to you. My first reaction was to pull the scotch out of my bottom desk drawer and have a good, healthy swig just to stop the shaking. But then I started reading about these little monstrosities and learned that they are meant for light trekking, climbing, canyoneering, running, fitness training, martial arts, yoga, pilates, sailing, boating, kayaking, canoeing, surfing, and fishing. I also learned that this company has partnered with Dr. Daniel Leiberman of Harvard University to look at the biomechanics of running in these weird little things. I think scientific studies are cool. If you're around Harvard and meet their criteria, you might check it out.
Of course, Dr. Isis is not eligible for participation. Everyone knows she runs like this:
Life Science
Education
Comments
Dude! Those shoes look awesome!
Posted by: ScienceWoman | June 9, 2009 9:56 PM
NOOOOO! Take it back! Take it back right now!!!!
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 9, 2009 9:58 PM
Don't worry Dr Isis! ScienceWoman and I will definitely be willing to give our feet to science for the testing of these shoes :)
Posted by: Academic | June 9, 2009 9:58 PM
Hmmm, figure 3.....perhaps you can get more of such pictures here....
But back to serious business - I hope you allow the shoe physiology session to be liveblogged as the topic is interesting. Then, in January, you can chair a session about the "Role of hot shoes in successful science blogging" at ScienceOnline'10.
Posted by: Coturnix | June 9, 2009 9:59 PM
Check out MBT's for some awesome but frightfully ugly scientifically designed shoes. After fourteen hours of non-stop running around (nursing), I don't give a fuck what they look like as long as I can still walk. Very expensive, but worth every penny.
Posted by: Catharine | June 9, 2009 10:17 PM
If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put these inside of a little pointy-toed elf number with a kitten heal?
Posted by: peggy.oh | June 9, 2009 10:30 PM
The only thing wrong with those shoes is that they don't make them to fit me.
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | June 9, 2009 10:43 PM
Chairing the APS Shoe session? There goes your anonymity...
Posted by: Physiogroupie IV | June 9, 2009 10:45 PM
Isis, I'd be happy to be an invited speaker in your session. I've already got my shoes planned out - I'll be wearing these. They'll look fantastic with the khaki cargo pants I'll also be wearing.
Posted by: Professor in Training | June 9, 2009 10:50 PM
PiT, what the FUCK are those?? Are you messing with me??? Are you looking for a fight???
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 9, 2009 10:52 PM
No, these shoes are not hot. But, for those who like to do alot of outdoorsy things, I suppose they are ... cool. Or perhaps ... intriguing may be a better choice of words.
Posted by: x-ine | June 9, 2009 11:10 PM
Ugh. A friend showed me those. Another friend has been telling me that the best way to run is as close to barefoot as possible. I understand the nearly-barefoot concept (though I think the lack of injury will only occur with really good running form, which you don't possess when you've been running in big shoes, and the gaining of which in tiny shoes may itself cause injury0), but those shoes...they...ugh...I mean. Stuff between your toes. Rubber stuff. Does this sound like an awful, smelly idea to anyone else?!
Posted by: Scicurious | June 9, 2009 11:11 PM
Don't start with me, Isis. I've had a fucking awful day. Those are the best goddamned shoes on the planet. Deal.
Posted by: Professor in Training | June 9, 2009 11:11 PM
PiT, nice shoes!
Of course, you all have already seen mine.... http://academiccrossroads.blogspot.com/2008/12/exploring.html
Posted by: Academic | June 9, 2009 11:14 PM
Wait, wait, you went out to Subway for lunch when you had a perfectly nutritious bottle of scotch available?
Those look a lot like God's Shoes:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/6839/marriedwith-children-gods-shoes
(If you're impatient, just jump to the 8 minute point.)
Posted by: Harold | June 9, 2009 11:15 PM
I knew it! PiT is really an ecologist!
Posted by: kiwi | June 9, 2009 11:51 PM
I think they look like great shoes. But I promise to wear them only in my kayak.
Posted by: becca | June 9, 2009 11:53 PM
Okay, I get the concept. There are benefits to going barefoot (as I do every chance I get during the summer) but aside from being ugly those just don't look that comfortable. It's like those socks with toes, nice concept but the feeling of stuff stuck between my toes just drives me crazy.
Posted by: Noadi | June 9, 2009 11:59 PM
What the fucking hell are those??? Are you people on crack? They do NOT look cool, they look like torture devices. I very unwisely bought some socks with individual toe-compartments one time and having the crevices between all ten toes violated at once made me want to hurt someone. And that was soft, knit material. THESE...well, in additional to giving me the vapors to look at, I think they would be uttery misery. Give me pumps over those things ANY day!
Posted by: MFA Mama | June 10, 2009 12:03 AM
PiT, you need to throw on those socks I dared you to wear! ;)
Posted by: jc | June 10, 2009 12:21 AM
Well, oh great science divas, perhaps you could entertain the notion of running in something Space-tacular like this:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23474424
Posted by: aimee | June 10, 2009 1:11 AM
LOLZ!
(And PiT is having a bad night, so I will not extensively allude to her toe socks here.)
I can't imagine running in these bizarre things. They might have been cool to do tae kwan do in, back when I learned a little tae kwan do. But running? Wouldn't they just beat up your toes even worse?
Hmmmm. I still kind of want to try them. Too bad I'm nowhere remotely near Cambridge.
Posted by: Juniper Shoemaker | June 10, 2009 1:30 AM
I think if you put heals on those shoes, they wouldn't be all that bad.
Posted by: Danimal | June 10, 2009 6:30 AM
Those toed shoes are horrible. Someone in one of my classes wore them every day...and sat where I could see his feet...and wiggled his toes.
Posted by: Mona | June 10, 2009 6:34 AM
When does a shoe stop being a shoe (with attached potential for hotness) and instead become a "foot glove" (with minimal potential for hotness - gloves aren't generally hot)? Inquiring minds need to know.
Also is anyone else having problems commenting at the moment?
Posted by: tai haku | June 10, 2009 7:03 AM
You know what? After that, I need the Scotch too. That said, I'm always happy to drink some good Scotch...
(Although I'm slightly disturbed to find that you consider it necessary to keep a bottle of it in your desk drawer to get you through the day, Isis... I thought that sort of thing was limited to teachers.)
Posted by: Ace | June 10, 2009 7:14 AM
one of my coworkers wore those shoes every day. I couldn't get over how creepy they looked in person (and in photo!). I don't care how good for you they are - they're too much like toe socks, and that's just wrong. Please Dr. Isis, regale us with a GOOD pair of shoe hotness.
Posted by: ktbug ladydid | June 10, 2009 7:27 AM
Well, you would be able to use your toes for running springiness in those shoes, but I would be sort of ashamed to wear them for anything not sport-related. (Class? Work?!)
Scicurious, you do have to work up to barefoot thing slowly. But my experience was that my body very quickly reverted to good form. I started on grassy fields (soccer fields are nice).
Posted by: Robin | June 10, 2009 8:40 AM
tai haku, gloves-for-warmth aren't generally hot. Elbow-length silk gloves... a different story.
Posted by: Squiddhartha | June 10, 2009 9:34 AM
Where and when is this session on the physiology of shoes. I want to present on the prevention of foot and shoe odor with nitric oxide generating bacteria.
In trying to google for more information I came across Christian Louboutin (never having heard of him before), not knowing that
”he is heralded as a shoe genius who understands both the psychology and physiology of shoes.”
Perhaps he could co-chair the session?
Posted by: daedalus2u | June 10, 2009 10:17 AM
The combination of my outrageously hot toe socks and the Chacos would be too dangerous to wear in public. I get mobbed enough as it is but wearing something that supercool would just be asking for trouble.
And Isis, if Peter Sagal says the Five Fingers shoe thingys are ok, I'm not going to argue with him.
Posted by: Professor in Training | June 10, 2009 10:48 AM
PiT, if I learn that you have ever worn five toed socks and Chacos anywhere, you are pretty much dead to me. Co-physiologists or not, dead to me.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 10, 2009 10:53 AM
Yuck, stuff between the toes! Even stuff around the big toe, like the ones PiT showed, makes me feel a bit cringey. But then, despite being a huge bare-foot afficiando and never ever wearing shoes without a decent amount of room in the front for my toes, my little toes tuck under slightly - those shoes would be forcing my poor toes into unnatural positions, how is that meant to make me feel like running??
Posted by: JaneB | June 10, 2009 11:45 AM
I saw those "toe shoes" at Scheeles a few weeks back. I just can't do them.... way too... reptilian.
I am regretting my shoe choices right now. Last trip to New Orleans (for EB) I lived in black or bone slingbacks which are hell on brick sidewalks (and a few bourbon-on-the-rocks don't help). This time I brought a pair of comfy wedges which were easier to manage on uneven sidewalks, but still hot. Not incredibly hot, but acceptably warm. However, they absolutely ATE my feet the first day, making my heels resemble raw hamburger (the shoe store lady told me this happens a lot from humidity or something). They also made every other pair of shoes I packed impossible to wear.
No problem; New Orleans has stores. I acquired a pair of kitten heel slides dressy enough to compliment my suit for the poster presentation. Even though I test-drove them around the showroom, they managed to blister my big toes after 1 day of wear!
Desperate the next morning, I ended up at Aerosoles. I tried on every pair of sandals that looked like they would spare my heels and toes. I have been wearing a pair of gold flip-flops for two days. I'm hoping that I can tolerate real shoes for clinic tomorrow; my ankles and heels are completely scabbed now, so things are looking up.
Now I just have to figure out how to rescue the kitten-heeled sandals. They are too cute to toss!
Posted by: Pascale | June 10, 2009 11:48 AM
Well Isis, it looks like our burgeoning friendship and/or any potential scientific collaboration has come to a crashing end. You need to be re-educated as to what supercool footwear is all about. Toe socks and Chacos were made to go together.
Posted by: Professor in Training | June 10, 2009 12:03 PM
I actually know someone who has those shoes. He says they are extremely comfortable and its the closest thing to walking barefoot while protecting your feet. Of course, he gets the oddest looks...
Posted by: TJ_Relic | June 10, 2009 1:03 PM
JaneB- I hadn't thought of that. My little toe also curves under, perhaps these shoes would be bad for me. Plus there is the Problem of the Second Toe...
"you know that toe, next to the big toe, mine's bigger then my big toe. Is there anyway to shorten it, or make my big toe bigger? like a toemenitation"/House quotes
Posted by: becca | June 10, 2009 3:39 PM
Oops! Physiogroupie IV has it right. We can't allow Dr. Isis to chair the session on the "Physiology of Shoes." As was noted by Dr. Isis' adoring fan, "Chairing the APS Shoe session? There goes your anonymity..." We can't let Dr. Isis expose herself to her loyal fans. Do we have any other volunteers to chair the session on her behalf???
Posted by: Marty | June 11, 2009 8:47 PM
May I nominate the world famous Drs. Pascale Lane and Hannah Carey, both of whom have mentioned shoes on this blog?
I will, of course, sit quiety in the office smiling my all-knowing smile.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | June 11, 2009 8:49 PM
Yecccccchhhh. I would not buy these because I can't stand having anything between my toes (which cuts out a lot of sandal options, I should add).
From a practical viewpoint: Wouldn't you need to have more sizes for those things than regular shoes? With normal shoes, if your foot if X inches long, you wear a size 10 (sorry, too lazy to look up actual stats). Foot: toe proportions don't matter much. With toe shoes like this, proper foot:toe proportion would be crucial.
My toes are quite long, so I can't help but think of things like this...
Posted by: UnlikelyGrad | June 13, 2009 12:15 AM
Back to the Subway (thanks for that image of Jared)... I passed a bread factory today and became delirious with the smell of baking bread. About a minute later I suddenly felt like I needed to sleep. I have to wonder whether even the smell of all those carbs did it to me. Conditioned response? I dunno.
Posted by: Gingerale | June 13, 2009 4:29 AM
The combination of my outrageously hot toe socks and the Chacos would be too dangerous to wear in public. I get mobbed enough as it is but wearing something that supercool would just be asking for trouble. Christian Louboutin
Posted by: Christian Louboutin | September 12, 2009 2:09 PM