I have to warn you before you begin, I have no idea exactly where this is going. I haven't outlined this post like I normally do in advance to be sure that it delivers maximal hilarity.
Mostly I want to write about something that is squicking me out this week.
All I can guarantee you is that this post will touch on two topics:
- Mexican Food
- Vaginas
While Dr. and Mr. Isis work, Little Isis attends preschool. His preschool is at a church about 1/2 mile from our house and we have generally been really happy with it. The infant room was great, the toddler room was great, and now Little Isis is in the pre-K room. I really do like his teachers...
....except one.
You might remember that I wrote a few weeks ago about Little Isis earning himself a nickname that I was displeased with. I thought the older boys in the class had started it. Nope. Apparently his afternoon teacher "calls him that to get his attention when he is misbehaving because he answers to it."
I have openly pondered whether I should start calling her "Useless Wench" to get her attention. Mr. Isis has threatened my life if I call Little Isis's afternoon teacher "Useless Wench" to her face.
In response to the nickname, I had a very calm (ok, calm for me) conversation about the inappropriateness of renaming my child when he is in trouble. She told me she thought it was a cute nickname. I told her I thought kicking her in the knees was cute -- except that I didn't actually say that because Mr. Isis was standing next to me giving me the "don't lose your shit at preschool" look. I thought we had reached an understanding.
Then this week I took Little Isis to swimming lessons. Afterwards we retreated to the women's locker room to change and, as we stripped off our swim suits, Little Isis said to me:
Mommy, I have a penis. You have a taco.
Alright, alright, I get the resemblance. Kind of. I mean, tacos are generally messy and drippy and all jumbled together. I assure you that Dr. Isis's is neat and tidy.
But I digress. This is, after all, a serious science blog.
Still, I cannot sufficiently express my displeasure at having my son taught that the female genitalia is named for a food that I grew up eating -- a food that is part of a culture and heritage that I try to share with my child and teach him to respect. I would much rather we learn to call a spade a spade -- a taco a taco and a vagina a vagina, if you will.
As I Photoshopped the above image, Mr. Isis peeked over my shoulder and said, "Ok, Isis. That might be finally over the line. Does this mean that you intend to have another talk with Ms. Useless Wench?"
I suppose that it does. It's also leading me to consider two possibilities...
- This behavior is unique to Ms. Useless Wench and I may have to start considering changing preschools for Little Isis if she can not embrace a little cultural sensitivity.
- This behavior is endemic to this part of the world. In that case, well, damn it.
Comments
The taco comment is completely inappropriate, and so is renaming your kid. Time to go to the upper management and tell them you are looking for a new daycare, one which does not discuss genitalia in any way but factually. You might remind them that when it comes to daycares, parents talk....
Posted by: gnuma | July 12, 2009 11:53 AM
I'm surprised she didn't call his penis a "wiener".
Posted by: george.w | July 12, 2009 12:00 PM
Omg!! I would totally lose my shit over the renaming off my child. The whole taco thing, well I would be taking her head off.
Posted by: ScientistMother | July 12, 2009 12:58 PM
WHAT? Your son's preschool teacher TOLD HIM that a woman's genitals are called a TACO?
Sorry for the caps, but holy shit, Isis, that woman needs to be where children are not. PRONTO.
Posted by: sandy | July 12, 2009 1:40 PM
I now have a list of questions to ask potential daycare providers. I honestly never thought "How do you refer to women's genitalia? Do you use factual information or food analogies?" to be one of those interview questions.
Posted by: Michelle Bell | July 12, 2009 1:43 PM
I... wow. I agree with gnuma - the management of the daycare is the right place to go to complain about this.
Posted by: volcanista | July 12, 2009 1:46 PM
Tacos El Zorro? I'll check it out. Muchas gracias, mi diosa
Posted by: Pieter B | July 12, 2009 2:32 PM
as someone who has threatened to kick another girl in her taco before, i can assure you that this isn't a new phrase.
entirely inappropriate for a preschooler. but not new.
Posted by: Anonymous | July 12, 2009 3:16 PM
I'm sure the goddess would never conclude anything without the appropriate data, but nevertheless, I'm confused. How do you know this word usage came from the (admittedly) evil teacher? Clearly, he didn't learn this from you or from Mr. Isis, but, couldn't some other preschooler at the daycare have told him this after learning it from an older sibling...or something...? Or did Little Isis tell you that he learned this from the Evil One?
Posted by: postdoc | July 12, 2009 4:36 PM
I have also come across the taco/hot dog dichotomous convention for naming genitalia. I agree that it is a) gross - we do not need to equate food and sex organs, b) culturally insensitive, and c) wildly inappropriate fodder (excuse the pun) for a preschooler.
And point in question here: why is it that little Isis can name his own genitalia appropriately, but has been miseducated to name female genitalia incorrectly? I know it can't be Dr. and Mr. Isis to blame. Whomever is responsible for this needs to be found out and given a severe tongue-lashing. And if you think it is the daycare lady, I think a vehement complaint to her supervisor is most definitely in order.
Posted by: ambivalent academic | July 12, 2009 5:23 PM
Posted by: Danimal | July 12, 2009 5:55 PM
To clarify my last comment. Eating tacos or pussy? Heaven! woot!! From this atheists prospective that is about as religious as I will get.
Posted by: Danimal | July 12, 2009 6:10 PM
Our kids went to a daycare onsite at a hospital for a while. Genitals never came up that I heard about. I just don't know what I would have done if my toddler had called it a taco, although I'm pretty certain this term would have come from another kid, not from a teacher.
And this is an old term (I knew it in junior high), but not one of the ones that usually comes to mind.
Posted by: Pascale | July 12, 2009 6:48 PM
I had my hopes so high when I read that this post would discuss two of my favorite things (tacos and vaginas, come to think of it, only one particular vagina in my case). But I didn't realize that it was to be a hybrid of the two, a tacogina. Not only are my high hopes dashed, but I may never walk into a Taco Bell again, unless it's in the world portrayed in the movie Demolition Man.
My own swim class/locker room story (and I promise to you, completely true)
I had my three-year-old daughter in swim class (TGAP Mom could not take her to swim class this session due to a scheduling conflict). After class ended, on the way to the (men's) locker room, my daughter asks "Dad, is this the men's locker room?" To which I simply informed her that it was. She followed up with "are they going to be naked in there?" To which I replied "well, yes, honey. It is a men's locker room." She then proclaimed matter-of-factly "okay, but I dont want to see their hairy butts, though."
I laughed the entiree time we were in the locker room.
Posted by: TGAP Dad | July 12, 2009 6:54 PM
Isis,
I think you are completely within your rights to be upset about Ms. Useless Wench's actions; both her ridiculous "naughty" nickname for Little Isis and giving him an equally ridiculous nickname for female genitalia. I would definitely be paying a visit to the supervisor of this facility to get some answers. I hope you don't have to find another daycare.
Incidentally, I love the illustrations.
Posted by: Minerva | July 12, 2009 7:11 PM
See, this is where evile ex and I both get into trouble. Because while I might have managed a diatribe that avoided cursing, that would likely have been the only major difference between my reaction and momma's. Although said shouting would have gone on in the office of management, because trust me, that teacher would not be the person either of us should talk to - because at that point even I would have has issues controlling my language.
Especially if the fucking moron decided it was a "cute" name.
Sorry fucking moron, my child's name is already cute and, more importantly, it's his fucking name!!!
I daresay we would never have gotten to the misnamed genitalia - but if we did...
Posted by: DuWayne | July 12, 2009 8:00 PM
I recall in Kindergarten Cop (with "tha governator") a little brat prattling off that "boys have a penis and girls have a vagina". At the time, I thought he was annoying. However, imagining this little boy saying, "boys have a penis and girls have a taco" would infuriate me. Isis, please bring up these concerns to the teacher's supervisor. Even if the kids are spreading this information to each other, I feel it is the teacher's job to correct them. Or else, the daycare needs to have some kind of policy on appropriate discussions.
Posted by: ktbug ladydid | July 12, 2009 8:07 PM
I would love to hear that Little Isis walked into daycare this week and announced "No, girls have a VAGINA" very loudly, in front of the teacher and all of his playmates. Or, perhaps, if the stupid teacher brings up taco again, says "I like to eat tacos. Do you have a taco I can eat?" Anything that brings up how batshit stupid that is right in front of everyone. Argh.
Posted by: Carlie | July 12, 2009 10:52 PM
A small word of caution ... 2 year olds are not a reliable source of information. Yes he probably picked up the word at the daycare. Possibly the only time he heard the "evil one" say it was when she told kids not to use it.
He loves you and wants to tell you what you want to hear. ( Try an experiment - ask a random yes/no question repeatedly. Chances are around the fourth or fifth repetition his answer will change to appease you.)Ask yourself if you would ever want anyone to be convicted on the testimony of a pre-schooler.
Go to management and advise them that you are concerned by the language he has learned. Believe me, no day care provider wants to hear that any child has been exposed to inappropriate behavior or language.
Posted by: R E G | July 12, 2009 11:49 PM
Given the context, Tacos El Zorro almost induced nasal coffee. I'm envisioning vulvas in masks, waving little swords, righting wrongs and saving the day.
My hoo-hah is a superhero. Boo-yah!
Posted by: Kalieris | July 13, 2009 10:40 AM
In an earlier post you asked readers why they are here. I neglected to respond: "I am here for the feminism. And the funny."
This post, in short, is why I am here.
Posted by: Moria | July 13, 2009 12:22 PM
Update. What happened?
Posted by: Robin | July 13, 2009 2:00 PM
Tomorrow is D-Day. Ugh
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | July 13, 2009 2:07 PM
Sorry to be late to the party, here, but I'd like to weigh in on the terminology of female genetalia. Why use the term "vagina?" After all, it's the one part of the whole vulva that's less visible and less relevant to small children (female or male) than any other part. Why not just use the term "vulva," because that's what's visible?
Vaginas don't come into the picture until menstruation, and even then they're not that interesting to their owners (I'm guessing).
Posted by: Historiann | July 16, 2009 3:43 PM