Some nights things in the Isis house go straight to hell. I mean, straight to hell. At the end of the day everyone is tired, and cranky, and hungry...
Tonight Dr. Isis cooked a healthy dinner with five different vegetables. Little Isis demanded a bowl of croutons and ranch dressing for dinner. Dr. Isis was exhausted and in no mood to argue, so she obliged.
Figure 1: An artist's rendition of Little Isis's dinner.
Tonight I also became that mother who says "we'll see." I always swore I would never say that to my children.
Then the following conversation happened [insert sounds of Little Isis cranky and running amok]:
Dr. Isis: Why are you so cranky?
Mr. Isis: I just wish bedtime were going smoother.
Dr. Isis: If my grandmother had balls she'd be my grandfather. That doesn't mean it's ever going to happen.
[insert sounds of Mr. Isis not speaking to Dr. Isis]
Then, at the end of it all, Little Isis crawled into bed with Dr. Isis and said
Mommy, can I watch Dora? I will not poop in your bed.
This has become my life.
Life Science
Education
Comments
HAHAHAHA!!!
Welcome to parenthood!!!!! Not getting pooped on is paradise!
Posted by: PalMD | August 3, 2009 9:03 PM
oh... what's wrong with saying "we'll see"?
Though they were much older than Little Isis, when my kids were begging for something that I needed to think about, my stock answer was "If you must have an answer right now, it's NO. There is a slight possibility that if you give me time to think about it, it could be yes."
That usually bought me about an hour.
Posted by: Donna B. | August 3, 2009 10:40 PM
I am in week 1 of being a working scientist mama, and am still trying to figure it all out. I love these glimpses into how you're working it out.
Posted by: Betsy | August 3, 2009 11:26 PM
'we'll see' means no without saying no (most of the time)- it doesn't take them long to figure it out though.
And I'll take poop over vomit ANY day.
Posted by: drdrA | August 4, 2009 1:17 AM
And never say never.
I said I would never say 'because I'm your mother and I said so'... all I needed was one tween girl child to push, and push, and push on me... before I gave in to that one.
Posted by: drdrA | August 4, 2009 1:21 AM
drdrA - well, if that's what the parent means by it... then it's not a good idea. I never used it that way. With a lot of requests, I needed time to figure if I could fulfill rather than just putting off saying no.
Posted by: Donna B. | August 4, 2009 4:03 AM
In response to the endless "why?"s (i.e. in response to "it's bathtime", "it's bedtime" or "it's time to take that battery-operated drill out of your bed") I've started saying "No, there IS no "why"...".
Posted by: physicschic | August 4, 2009 5:41 AM
As the father of three (mostly grown) daughters, I learned to be pretty patient, but I had a few catch phrases:
Replying to "Why", or "Why not" I would tell them, "you're a smart girl, you figure it out" This would mean that I was not going to discuss it, and they usually did figure it out. I don't remember ever hearing "Gee, dad, after careful consideration I find myself still confused..."
When things had to stop it was "Cut the ****!" That meant that the next move was separation (which they hated) or a short lecture (which they hated more).
If this bad behavior occurred in public somewhere it was followed by: "Get in the truck!" Whatever fun we were supposed to be having was over (beach, playground, library etc.)
The older two have a little side business called "CTS, Inc"
Life Coaches and Consultants
Having little guys around is for young people. I don't think I could take it now.
Don't fight the food issue as long as they eat. If there is no junk food around they will figure out something (I like the croutons idea). I used to make my favorite stuff, but they refused to eat it. Now that they are out of the house, I may make it again!
Posted by: joemac53 | August 4, 2009 7:23 AM
Betsy@#3:
The first law of parenting is that you won't survive if you have to start from scratch -- it's essential to learn from the experience of others.
The second law is that what works for other kids won't work for yours, so you're going to have to work it from scratch.
physicschic@#7:
My response to honest "why?" (as in, "why is the sky blue?") was to ask "why do you think it is?" -- which makes a dialog out of the game since those are often a power play instead of a learning attempt. I tried to make it a learning (as distinct from teaching) moment.
The other kind of "why?" is a challenge. The answer doesn't matter, it's just a distraction attempt. My stock answer was "because I'm mean, I'm nasty, and I hate children. I'm the worst father who ever lived." Which was where they were heading, so we saved time.
Remember, though: these methods won't work for you.
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | August 4, 2009 8:26 AM
My mom (who was an elementary school teacher for 20+ years, and now runs a preschool) was always quite fond of "Because that's what they taught us in Mean Mommy School." (or Mean Teacher School, if it was a student instead of offspring asking the question.) Kind of like D.C.'s "I'm the worst father that ever lived"--it gets you there just a little bit faster.
Of course, I did go for quite a few years actually believing that there was a Mean Mommy/Mean Teacher School...
(If you want to get really creative with it, you can--"I got top marks in Unfairness 101 and Advanced Whining Elimination!")
Posted by: Dr. Kate | August 4, 2009 9:12 AM
"The first law of parenting is that you won't survive if you have to start from scratch -- it's essential to learn from the experience of others.
The second law is that what works for other kids won't work for yours, so you're going to have to work it from scratch."
Hey! That's just like grad school...
Posted by: becca | August 4, 2009 12:00 PM
becca, parenthood is a graduate program. If you put all of the proverbs of grad school side-by-side with parenthood proberbs, they line up in a very disturbing way.
<Insert evil laugh here>
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | August 4, 2009 12:43 PM
I LOVED the promise not to "poop in your bed." I don't care what MasterCard says; THAT is priceless!
I have three (19~11) kids. I have been pooped/peed/thrown up on more than I can count. I have been hit, kicked, bitten, tripped, and spilled on. But all was forgiven with an unsolicited kiss from undersize lips, or hug from those pudgy little arms. We have sat through hours of Barney, Dora, Caillou, and Sesame Street, forgoing our own entertainment interests.
Last year, as our oldest went to seek wisdom and knowledge at her MRU, I have to admit that the house felt somewhat diminished. We went through the bedroom she shared/shares with her little sister as part of a slight remodeling. We found the tub of troll dolls she treasured, the Barbies, the clothes outgrown, the music box the soothed her to sleep on many a night: artifacts of an era that has slipped from us like water through our fingers.
I would not have traded the experience of a single moment of my kids' childhood for all the gold in Fort Knox.
Little Isis is a treasure, and an adorable one at that. I especially liked the "Science Words" video you posted a while back. Savor every moment of this little guy's childhood; it passes like a blown kiss in the breeze.
Posted by: TGAP Dad | August 4, 2009 2:12 PM