...to my laundry.
Dear dirty duds,
Knock it off already! I know what you're up to.
I know that every day when I leave home you all emerge from the hamper and get down. The product of your daytime boot-knocking is little baby dirty clothes that grow up into big dirty clothes.
Figure 1: Dr. Isis's bathroom after Dr. Isis leaves for work in the morning.
And because you're reproducing quicker than I can launder, the result is a heaping pile of dirty laundry spawn that I cannot seem to keep up with. I know that it cannot be that we simply generate this much laundry in a week. That is just not possible. We are only three people and one of us is really little.
So, stop it! Damn it!
Thanks,
Isis




Comments
So that's what's going on! I knew my spouse and I couldn't generate so much laundry in a week either.
Posted by: biochem belle | October 31, 2009 2:10 PM
Aha! I knew there was an explanation for the four loads of laundry I just finished! There are four people in this house and *two* are very small. Argh.
Posted by: Mara | October 31, 2009 3:19 PM
Wear fewer clothes.
Spending a week on a boat in a warm climate we wore a swimsuit most of the time. These got washed a couple times a day when swimming. Add a pair of thin white long pants and a shirt for sun protection, a floppy hat, a couple towels and sheets and your set. After a week I had a bit less than a standard load of laundry. Footwear was mostly ... feet.
Promoting a clothes optional work/home is also good.
Posted by: Art | October 31, 2009 5:44 PM
That explains sooooo much.
Posted by: nobody | November 1, 2009 1:46 AM
I have seen definite proof that clothes breed. Several times when I was younger, my mother found baby-sized clothing in our laundry. This was at a time when my brother and I were both in middle school or older. No babies or toddlers lived in that house while we were there. Q.E.D.
Posted by: Dr. Kate | November 1, 2009 9:19 AM
I call this the "winter laundry" phenomenon. Long sleeves and pants take up more volume than t-shirts and shorts, never mind when one layers. Multiply by five and there's always an adjustment period in late October when we realize that we have a lot more laundry than we did over the summer.
Posted by: Jill | November 1, 2009 2:22 PM
Having just returned from Renal Week, I can certify that dirty laundry reproduces. I know I had more trouble getting the used stuff into the garment bag for the return trip. And the mountain of used stuff in the floor when I got home could not possibly have resulted from the needs of one 49 year old man who actually did a load of whites rather than go commando.
If they are not breeding, then the laundry has learned how to clone itself. Humanity will never be safe again!
Posted by: Pascale | November 2, 2009 11:50 AM
I knew it! My scrunchies used to reproduce constantly; I had to apply a very severe culling program.
Posted by: JustaTech | November 2, 2009 7:00 PM