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The Egyptian goddess Isis was celebrated as the ideal wife and mother. The blogger known as Dr. Isis has some fancy-sounding degrees and is a physiologist at a major research university working on some terribly impressive stuff. She blogs about balancing her research career with the demands of raising small children, how to succeed as a woman in academia, and anything else she finds interesting. Also, she blogs about shoes. In fact, she blogs a lot about shoes.
...And behold, he raised the motherfucking Jameson on high as Isis bedecked her feet in glory, and the masses were sated. -- The Holy Gospel According to PhysioProf
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Posted on: November 7, 2009 5:54 AM, by Isis the Scientist
...to the guy next to me in seminar yesterday morning.
Dear Dr. Hot-Shot,
I realize that you thought you were being discrete by turning your phone to vibrate while you texted at a break neck pace during seminar, but when your phone buzzes louder than my vibrator, it is not at all discrete.
Then again, if I could text as quickly as you I probably wouldn't need my vibrator and then I would be more discrete.
Best,
Isis the Scientist
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Comments
For several years now I have been seeing online ads for USB powered vibrators. They "say" these are for aches and pains and stress generated working at your desk.
When we all know that the internet is for porn...
Posted by: Pascale | November 7, 2009 10:17 AM
Minor nitpick: it is 'discreet', not 'discrete'.
Posted by: Katharine | November 7, 2009 12:53 PM
Not when it refers to an electronic component.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | November 7, 2009 12:59 PM
We have a rule in my corporate division: anyone caught texting/blackberrying while someone is speaking has to donate $100 to the charity of the speaker's choice. It's upped productivity quite a bit. If someone sends you an urgent message, you are required to get up and leave the room to respond.
Posted by: sea creature | November 7, 2009 1:26 PM
"Not when it refers to an electronic component."
The electrons, or positrons if you're Data, got nuttin' to do widdit.
In-context:
"but when your phone buzzes *louder* than my vibrator, it is not at all discrete."
(Emphasis added). The point is that the phone is loud, and therefore the texting is not unnoticeable[1], not that the phone is its own, separate unit[2].
(Citations added, since we're all scientists here. ;)
[1] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discreet
[2] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discrete
(Now you can nit-pick my citations; they're probably in a wholly incorrect format ;)
Posted by: Joseph | November 7, 2009 2:11 PM
Ummmm... I think you may have confused 'discrete' with 'discreet', as many people often do, although mostly in the opposite direction. Both are words, and your silly spell checker will pass both of them, but they do not mean the same thing, nor can they be used interchangeably.
Posted by: RSG | November 7, 2009 3:38 PM
No, I didn't confuse them, but this may have only been funny to me at 4am.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | November 7, 2009 3:44 PM
Now we have that straight, could we have a discussion about 'alternate' and 'alternative'???
d.
Posted by: d. | November 7, 2009 4:24 PM
Dr Isis, are you being smug and gloating that you are able to use your vibrator discretely (i.e. by your individual self without sharing) in this seminar while your colleague was unable to use his/her cell phone without you being aware of it? Perhaps next time you might use a vibrating cell phone to mask the sound of your vibrator. Who knows, maybe that is what your colleague was doing and why he/she chose a cell phone with such a loud vibration?
Posted by: daedalus2u | November 7, 2009 7:44 PM
The people who used to live at my address get sent those 'curio' catalogs. The catalogs have the same special vibrating devices for sale (soothes sore muslces!)...I guess because grandma doesn't want to go to the adult store...
Speaking of adult stores...they sell these little pocket-size vibrators and I bet you wouldn't even need a vibrating cell phone to mask its sound (just maybe your own! lol)
Posted by: G | November 7, 2009 8:01 PM
Nope, the pocket size vibrators definitely make noise, and sometimes also emit a high-pitch sound akin to a mosquito.
Posted by: gnuma | November 7, 2009 8:45 PM
bummer! at least now I know, so I don't make that mistake ;)
Posted by: G | November 7, 2009 8:59 PM
*insert cheesey joke about 55cent handling fee in the advert*
Posted by: becca | November 7, 2009 11:43 PM
...
"...and sometimes also emit a high-pitch sound akin to a mosquito."
Silly me. I thought that 'sound' was coming from the 'vibratee'...
. . .and lots of things are only funny at 4 AM.
...tom...
Posted by: ...tom... | November 8, 2009 1:05 AM
How about a nice, discreet rubber ducky?
Posted by: Uncle Glenny | November 8, 2009 3:48 AM
Well this is all pretty and pink, looks like a lipstick and recharges on your USB port. Take that, duckie!
Posted by: CC | November 8, 2009 6:11 AM