Mike the Mad Biologist

The Pork! It Burns! It Burns!

Posted by Mike on September 20, 2006
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We Jews have a secret: if you wave pork in front of us, we running away screeching. Contact with our skin causes anaphylactic shock. In fact, pork works better on us than silver does on vampires. Of course, I’m kidding when I say this. But I’m not kidding when I say that Sen. George “Macaca” Allen (R-VA) is still an asshole. From Salon:

“I still had a ham sandwich for lunch. And my mother made great pork chops.” — Virginia Sen. George Allen, explaining how news that his grandfather was Jewish is “just an interesting nuance to my background.”

What a putz.

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Comments

  1. #1 coturnix
    September 20, 2006

    Mike, it should not be refered to as “pork” in public – it is elephant meat!

  2. #2 John McKay
    September 20, 2006

    Silver doesn’t bother vampires; garlic does. Silver is for fighting werewolves. I sure don’t want you at my side when the other kids in campground start turning up dead and bloodless.

  3. #3 The Ridger
    September 20, 2006

    My favorite part of the whole thing was hearing part of the press conference on the wall o’ tvs at work. The reporter asked about it and he snapped back that he wasn’t going to respond to “aspersions”. He then tried to say it was no big deal.

    Sorry, if it’s an “aspersion” you don’t think it’s no big deal.

  4. #4 GH
    September 21, 2006

    Honestly I don’t see what the issue is here. He was honest and straightforward. He simply views his jewish ancestry as no big deal. So what?

    It’s his heritage he can feel anyway he wants. Truthfully it’s only a ridiculous dogma that prevents jewish people from enjoying pork in the first place. It should be made humorous because it is.

  5. #5 The Ridger
    September 21, 2006

    John McKay wrote:

    Silver doesn’t bother vampires; garlic does. Silver is for fighting werewolves. I sure don’t want you at my side when the other kids in campground start turning up dead and bloodless.

    And of course, I’ve been thinking about “Love at First Bite” all day … the scene where Rosenburg leaps at Dracula saying, “The second way to kill a vampire: silver bullets!” and Dracula says, “No, Rosenburg … that is for vervolves!” and then they drag Rosenburg out of the restaurant and he’s yelling, “He’s all right, he’s a vampire, he’s all right…”