Mike the Mad Biologist

Vote Yes on MA Proposition 1 Because…

…the Mad Biologist needs more expensive prime rib. One of the initiatives on the Massachusetts ballot is Proposition 1, which calls for the abolition of the MA income tax. You might be surprised to read that the Mad Biologist is urging you to vote for Proposition 1.

In MA, the income tax accounts for roughly forty percent of all revenue while the property tax collects roughly the same amount. So what would happen if we removed the income tax? Well, in light of the massive budget shortfalls MA is already facing, local property taxes would have to rise to make up the shortfall–if Florida is any indication, property taxes would double.

Now, readers of this blog will wonder why on earth I would support this; after all, the property tax is highly regressive. Well, as a renter, I’ve figured out how much my tax burden would increase if property taxes were to make up the shortfall, and the Mad Biologist comes out ahead by thousands of dollars.

Here’s the key point: I need more high quality prime rib in my diet.

Have you ever been to Grill 23? Shifting the tax burden from me to your children’s college fund or healthcare will provide me with top-grade vittles.

Did I mention that the prime rib at Grill 23 is 32 ounces?

So, please, don’t think of all of the social services, public health, aid to the mentally disabled, educational needs, and public safety our state requires. Instead, think of me. You wouldn’t want me to go to Grill 23 without a nice, new suit, would you? Or snazzy cufflinks?

Don’t think of Massachusetts’ future. Think of the Mad Biologist. Eating your prime rib. While wearing a really sharp suit. And then vote for Proposition 1.

Besides, I plan on voting against my own economic interests by voting No on Proposition One. I’m counting on you to save me from myself.

And to provide me with really good food. And a nice suit.

Comments

  1. #1 Scott Conger
    October 31, 2008

    I’ll swing a few votes your way if you can share a few ribs.

  2. #2 Joshua
    October 31, 2008

    The best part is that you wouldn’t even need a steak knife, you could just use the snark from this post to cut into that prime rib.

  3. #3 KAS
    October 31, 2008

    LOL! I always enjoy your humor in these posts! Let me tell you why I am voting Yes on 1 (and a BIG Yes on 2 for that matter) because I think that too much of our tax money is wasted anyway. What better way to say, ‘stop abusing my money’ than to take it away!! #1 won’t pass though, as everyone is convinced that all the schools would close and we would have no police or firefighters etc.

    Now, #2 on the other hand, if passed, will save our state tens/or even hundreds of thousands of dollars as well as the rewards reaped via citations. Our cops could start doing something useful instead of busting everyone’s’ teenagers, putting a horrid record on their heads and essentially ruining their future choices and freedoms; detrimentally affecting our entire society in this manner because of lies and political goals that made it illegal in the first place~ Think of all the good work cops could do instead of the war on drugs (of which most resources are for’it’)? Maybe we wouldn’t be short staffed after all?

    I can assure America, that ” heads will not ruin our society and occasional users of the more respectable sort and adult age, should get to do what they want as long as no one is harmed. People don’t view it as a right taken, as most are ignorant to it’s lack of detriment and believe the propaganda and fail to realize that it is far less powerful, effective or negative than it is made out (falsely) to be. As an individual, humans should have the right to utilize any organic substance for relaxation or enjoyment that does not harm others, without the government intervening with their dirty, greedy, regulating hands. The biggest contributor to the anti-’it’ campaign is the alcohol industry. Think about it, what a market infringement it would be, to allow Americans a choice of safe intoxicants? Many would choose ‘it’ over alcohol and we would probably have less alcoholics, drunk driving etc. etc. etc.

    But, ‘god’ forbid we choose Doritos eating, couch warming, laugh line making ‘it’ over passionate arguments, violence, rape, driving while under the influence and killing someone, alcoholic parents beating up their children, husbands beating up their wives, irrational decision making, kids partying and having sex due to their lowered inhabitions, signs on trees after every weekend when one of our youth crashes into a tree… etc. etc. etc. IMEO

    I could probably afford a whole Cow with my savings, if that would better please you? We will call her Betsy; and she will arrive in a big box with ‘steak knives included’ ‘Fragile, do not tip, this way up’ all over it! I could probably hire some of those children that won’t be in school anyway to butcher it up for you?

    ~almost anonymous troll

  4. #4 llewelly
    October 31, 2008

    Thanks for the heads up, Mike. I don’t live in MA, so instead of voting I donated two whole boxes of monopoly money to the campaign for economic stupidity.

  5. #5 SR
    October 31, 2008

    You got me convinced; I’ll be voting yes. Let the government learn we will not support bloat any longer.

  6. #6 iRobot
    November 1, 2008

    Everyone SAYS that government wastes money, but the yes on 1 people grabbed a number out of their a** and are running around as if its true.

    We have been cutting taxes and services for years, but there is still waste? Just say you don’t want government because you don’t like it. Don’t use the fake line about waste. Every see any of our bridges, roads or schools?

  7. #7 Rich Lawler
    November 2, 2008

    Well put iRobot.

    If you’re going to vote to eliminate state income tax, just come out and say that you’re a self-absorbed selfish asshole. Don’t try and mask it about how you care about waste. This is just nonsense. If you cared about waste you could picket Halloween, as individually-wrapped pieces of candy constitute a major source of over-packaging.

    We do we continue to wage war against the very things that made our country great: solid infrastructure, education, free speech, civil rights, etc. I’d gain a lot more respect for Libertarians if they would just admit that they are stingy reclusive xenophobes.

    Don’t be selfish, don’t be scared, don’t be cruel: NO, YES, YES on 1, 2, 3.

    [for those of you outside Mass, these votes would mean the following: keep our state income tax, reduce penalties for pot possession, and ban dog racing]

  8. #8 mirc
    March 1, 2009

    thanks

  9. #9 v-pills
    May 19, 2009

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  10. #10 yalcın
    August 2, 2009

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