Thank you, George Allen

As every Evil Monkey knows, you've bestowed upon a student from UVA a great honor.

S.R. Sidarth, a senior at the University of Virginia, had been trailing Allen with a video camera to document his travels and speeches for the Webb campaign. During a campaign speech Friday in Breaks, Virginia, near the Kentucky border, Allen singled out Sidarth and called him a word that sounded like "Macaca."

"This fellow here over here with the yellow shirt, Macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent. He's following us around everywhere. And it's just great. We're going to places all over Virginia, and he's having it on film and its great to have you here and you show it to your opponent because he's never been there and probably will never come."

Senatory, I firmly believe Mr. Sidarth should be grateful that you refer to him as being of the wisest primate genus, Macaca. I'm sure, Mr. Allen, that you were only able to pick him out because, being one of the few non-white people there, he probably looks the most like a monkey to you.

Virginians should be proud of their senator today, for his ability to reach out and strengthen interprimate relations. He's practically Nixonian in that regard! Here's to George Allen; making species-species bigotry a thing of the past. He joins other intellectual giants such as Rick "man-on-dog" Santorum.

(Yes, you can cut the sarcasm with a knife.)