Neurotopia

Now, Sci is a southerner by upbringing, though most people, when they meet her, would never know. But she was raised seeing Krispy Kreme and fried okra, and grits were always available on the breakfast table. Not only that, the summers were always frighteningly hot, with heat indexes so high we were warned against going outside at certain times of day. So you can imagine how Sci felt being bundled up in a sweatshirt and pants on the 4th of July. You call that SUMMER?! I call that mid-March!

Sci also saw some rather humorous things that Northerners have taken it into their heads to call "food". Like this:

What you can behold here is something I was compelled to buy at "Nathan's Famous". We were driving along and I saw the sign. "What" inquired the curious Sci, "is Nathan's Famous FOR?" Turns out it's hot dogs. But you'd never know from the sign. Just says "famous". And of course, Sci had to try some, especially when she found out they sold HOT DOG NUGGETS. And they...were terrible. In the way that only fast food can be over-hyped and terrible. Nothing compares to the resigned disappointment of opening your little cardboard thingy and seeing "food" that looks nothing like what they advertise on the sign. This happens with all fast food, wherever you are. It is best to avoid fast food as this feeling of mild disappointment will quickly progress to depression, especially after you taste it.

So what ARE hot dog nuggets? Basically little bite-sized corn dogs. I should have known better. But the fries came with a FRY FORK! Sci did not know that they made these things, and wants some in her silverware set. They suit the grad student eating style well. Some fry forks and some sporks, and you're all set.

Another thing amusing me about people in the Frozen North:

Iced tea, you call this? No no no no NO. Southerners know. Iced tea must always come from a much re-used gallon milk jug, or from a giant tea dispenser of dubious cleanliness. It must ALSO contain at least one CUP of sugar per gallon of liquid. You "unsweetened" people are not normal.

And finally, where did Sci see these culinary delights?

Nothing says "this rest stop has class" like naming it "Walt Whitman". I was also amused to find that there was a "Molly Pitcher" rest stop. Presumably others have similar names.

Sci was particularly interested by this concept of the "rest stop". South of DC, the rest stop is a little building off to the side of the road, where you basically use an ok bathroom and don't have to feel guilty for not buying anything. The idea of a specifically set aside rest area with little fast food joints and convenience store and gas stations in it was very different. I imagine this has a lot to do with toll roads, but I know in the south this wouldn't fly for a minute. After all, the only reason you EVER get off I-85 in Podunk, SC, is when you desperately have to use the bathroom, get gas, or are dying of thirst. Since there's a lot of people out there traveling on I-85, this happens a lot. I am fairly sure that if you installed one of those nice, relatively clean rest stations with a Starbucks in it on I-85 South, half of those little teeny towns would dry up and blow away after their single source of revenue was lost.

Anyway, Sci greatly enjoyed her trip to cooler climes, and now is back on the attack. And she's not saying the South is any better. Down here, we deep-fry our twinkies. Really really. But she wants to know: what other odd forms of Northern fast food did she miss in her excursion? Don't worry, I have had a Philly cheesesteak. That, btw, is DELICIOUS. But she'd love to hear of crazy advances in fast food. Does anything compare to deep fried Coca Cola?