Steve Higgins is a psychology graduate student at an online university. He hopes that the three weeks and $29.95 that he is spending on his Ph.D. will get him a job at a Tier 1 research university. Do online universities have postdocs? Ok...just kidding, Steve is a real graduate student at a real school.
On Monday morning Shelley of Retrospectacle and I will be opening up the brand spankin' new blog over in a slightly new location. So come on over and check us out first thing in the morning, a couple hours later, a couple hours after that, and then rinse & repeat. We have some great posts lined up for your reading pleasure.
I haven't been blogging lately because Shelley and I have been getting the new blog ready to go public on March 1st. However... I read this crap on CNN and got so irritated that I had to post it.
Evidently CNN feels that people who measure peoples facial features and predict personality characteristics is both legitimate science and worth reporting to the unknowing populace. This is some of the most ridiculous and irresponsible reporting I have ever seen. It's nearly as bad as a reporter writing that mercury in vaccines causes Autism.
Here's the basic gist:
If the "personology" believers had their way, they'd want you to judge every book by its cover. Well, actually, they'd want you to judge every person by his or her facial features. Because practitioners of personology, which is a form of face reading, believe the features on our face tell, literally, the inside story of what kind of person we are.
The theory of reading personality traits in facial features dates back to Aristotle.
Nobody is more passionate about this facial fact-finding than the president of Face Language International, Naomi Tickle (her real name). Tickle has devoted her life to the study of personology, and she informs us in a lovely British accent that this is no fleeting New-Age fad.
Ms. Tickle is correct that this is no new age fad. It is a full blown scam that has persisted since the beginning of recorded history. It is as bad as phrenology, hand writing analysis, or anything that measures body features that have no direct influence on personality. Of course if you're morbidly obese and/or horrendously ugly that is going to affect your personality because of the way the public will treat you... but give me a break! This stuff needs to go the way of phrenology and die...quickly. CNN should be ashamed to report this kind of crap.
Well wait up Steve... let's see whether her constructs make any sense. Maybe she has something going?
So what are there traits that Tickle is talking about?
Well, for example, she says "Somebody who has very close-set eyes is very good with detail. They don't like being interrupted, and they don't like people being late. They like people to be on time.
"The flip side of that," she adds, "is they can focus on things that aren't working till it becomes bigger than life.
A person with wide-set eyes is much more laid back, she continued. "They are the multi-task people. They're the ones that say, 'Oh I can do this and I can do that and I can do that as well,' and because of this behavior, they have a tendency to run late."
Nope. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. What kind of mechanism could possibly link these things? On the other hand maybe there actually is some evidence.
...the theory goes back much further than the 1920s. In fact, it dates back to Aristotle, who wrote a treatise on physiognomy, or the idea that one's temperament can be discerned from his or her outward features.
This later morphed into an odder head-reading trend known as the criminal head bump indicator, or phrenology. But don't lump (ahem) these items in with personology.
Tickle says her method goes by the numbers. "We actually measure the eye to determine the distance," she says. "We measure the width of the eye, and we measure the space between them to see which is the bigger of the two. And so if the eye is bigger than the space between the eyes, this person is very tolerant and very good with details."
She asserts that "thousands and thousands of people" report 100 percent accuracy on the personology analysis.
100% Accuracy and a long history!? Wow! She must be totally right then. Alright first lets throw out the history thing. There was a long history of slave trade and lynching - that's certainly not legitimate. And now for that 100% accuracy. Have any of you scientists encountered any sort of manipulation at all that has given rise to 100% success rate? My toilet doesn't even flush at 100%
So Ms. Tickle and CNN... go away and stop leading poor people on.
I'm supposed to be editing a journal article for submission. It's been sitting on my desk for a long time. I've even finished the experiments for the follow up paper! I really need to stop looking at garbage on the internet - Including this comic defining my exact situation.
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.
A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, ecause they've actually been used."
As Ginny says... har har.... or something like that.
To reduce the severity of his seizures, Joe had the bridge between his left and right cerebral hemispheres (the corpus callosum) severed. As a result, his left and right brains no longer communicate through that pathway. Here's what happens as a result:
Thanks to a commenter named Speedwell we have a new name for the unholy alliance of Retrospectacle and Omni Brain. She will be receiving a Seed subscription, some sciencey books, and some other paraphernalia in the mail (like Sb Stickers). We had many many many wonderful suggestions and we had a hard time picking just one. We almost had to start a bunch of new blogs.
The new blog should be up and running sometime around March 1st. We need to get some banners, create the page, have a powwow on how to take over the world, figure out our first posts, etc etc etc. We'll both be continuing to post on our regular blogs until then so don't worry - we're not really going anywhere.
If I like what I see, I'll receive 5 more issues (6 in all) for just $14.95. That's 50% off the cover price! If I'm not completely satisfied, I'll simply write "cancel" on the invoice and owe nothing. The free issue is mine to keep.
I haven't been blogging lately because Shelley and I have been getting the new blog ready to go public on March 1st. However... I read this crap on CNN and got so irritated that I had to post it.
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."
