Omni Brain


  1. #1 Jonathan Vos Post
    March 24, 2007

    Before opening for business, licensees must spend 3½ weeks at McDonald’s “Hamburger College” in Chicago.

    You mean that McDonald’s “Hamburger College” does NOT offer tenure to their instructors?

    You guys do know that Mickey D is suing the publisher of a dictionary, hoping to get a court injunction to remove the word “McJob” from all future editions.

    As Jay Leno commented last night: “McDonalds insists that the word insults their dignity. As opposed to the silly little paper hats that they make their employees wear?”

    My seminar today, ladies and gentlemen, is on Mathematical Hamburger Theory. Now, consider a spherical hamburger…

    From the audience: isn’t that all well-known in Theoretical Meatballology?

  2. #2 Jackie
    March 25, 2007

    Luckily, the other door is usually a six-figure job in industry, assuming you come with a science Ph.D.

  3. #3 Blake Stacey
    March 27, 2007

    . . . so the host says, “Behind one of these three doors is tenure. Behind the other two are jobs flipping burgers. Which do you pick?”

    “Uh, I’ll pick door number two, Monty.”

    “Aha! Feel good about your choice?”

    “Well. . . .”

    “Now, now. Just to help you along, I’m going to open one of the other two doors. . . .”

  4. #4 Brian
    March 28, 2007

    I know this one!!! Take the other door! For the love of science, take the other door!

New comments have been temporarily disabled. Please check back soon.