Students at De Anza College teach How To Stay Stressed:
Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:
- NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.
- TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, [energy drinks] and cola will continue to do the job just fine.
- GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.
- PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!
- PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.
Read more of How to Stay Stressed via Jeffery of Pills Don't Teach Skills.
Comments
Actually while personalizing criticism may keep you stressed it can also function as an 'edge of chaos' environment to promote rapid cognitive advancement. Of course you probably think I'm just kidding.
Posted by: Stuart Hall | May 24, 2007 8:47 AM
Was this post meant to be satire? I'll have you know that not exercising, drinking lots of coffee, eating sugary substances, and procrastinating are (among) my life's great pleasures! Doing all of these things at once amounts to a religious experience.
Posted by: Romeo Vitelli | May 25, 2007 10:50 AM