There seem to be certain drinks that as a guy you should just not order at a bar - because if you do... no woman will ever sleep with you again (well unless she likes girly men *with Arnooolldd accent*). I found a link via fark with a list of all those forbidden drinks. Check them out and let us know if they are missing any or some of them are just bogus.
Here's the list (although the link above has some nice pictures):
1. Anything blended, unless your on a beach.
2. Jello shots or any variety of neon shots with about as much alcohol as a juice box.
3. Anything with an obscene amount of garnish.
4. Cosmopolitans are fruity, bright and downright girly.
5. Anything that requires a straw. It's hard to look coy with a straw, it's nearly impossible to look macho or hot when using one.
6. Any shot or drink that boasts whipped cream as an ingredient of garnish.
7. Anything that ends with "tini" but isn't an honest martini made of gin or vodka and vermouth.
8. Malt beverages tat don't come in a 40 oz. bottle. Especially the fruity flavored malt beverages a.k.a. "alcopops."
9. Any kind of alcohol, besides scotch, ordered "neat." It could suggest that you're a frequent drinker.
10. White Zinfandel -- this one needs no explanation.
So... lets find out what you think! Here's a question for the women and a question for the men. No cheating! Only answer your own sex. If you're a transvestite or transgendered... well I guess you can figure out which one you should answer on your own.
Comments
I order girly drinks ALL THE TIME. People may think it's wussy, but then you have to show them how trivial and superficial it is to place arbitrary, gender-specific constraints on cocktails. For example, demonstrating great skillz (e.g. breakdancing) will make people forget that you're the guy ordering all the sours and fruity beverages.
Posted by: Alex | August 3, 2007 10:34 AM
9 is bullshit. Who the hell puts a mixer in their cognac?
Posted by: Dunc | August 3, 2007 10:38 AM
exception to #6 is if you're in an Irish Pub and order an Irish Coffee
exception to #8 is the Mickey's Malt Liquor "Hand Grenades"
Posted by: Amish Otaku | August 3, 2007 11:07 AM
My wife hounds me anytime I branch out from my "bottlabud" order at the bar. A friend of mine once told me about how good a perfectly made "side car" tasted, but later that night when I ordered one, my wife and her friends busted my balls, mercilessly. "What's up grandmamma? Is it intermission for Dial M for Murder? Haw Haw Haw!" A similar experience occurred when I dared to order a poolside strawberry daiquiri (violating rules 1, 5 & 6 in on fell swoop) during a vacation last year. It's a running gag and all in good fun but an apparent social stigma all the same.
Posted by: MOB | August 3, 2007 11:12 AM
#9 is way of of line with the rest.
* whiskey(not just scotch) should be drunk neat.
* a well-made martini is essentially neat gin/vodka
* real men can handle their alcohol
The even numbered rules are the only good ones.
Posted by: Mr. Gunn | August 3, 2007 11:29 AM
Scotch, neat. Bourbon, straight.
Posted by: Todd | August 3, 2007 11:43 AM
I'd think that if any man was so twisted into his own homophobia that he's worried about "girly" drinks, he wouldn't be ordering anything called a cocktail in the first place.
Posted by: Warren | August 3, 2007 11:54 AM
I've been cursed. Every serious relationship I've been in the girl loves beer, which I think is unpalatable. I drink what makes me feel good...can't argue with that.
Posted by: caynazzo | August 3, 2007 12:05 PM
I'd change the wording from "girly" drinks to drinks no one over the age of 20 should ever order, regardless of gender. Seriously-the flavored malt liquors and neon martinis have got to go. I'd be mortified if someone I was with ordered those-stick with Wine, Beer, Martinis (Gin, extra dry pref.), and Manhattans.
Posted by: RobertC | August 3, 2007 12:34 PM
I'm the most girly of the girly men. I don't drink alcohol at all. But if I did, I'd drink whatever the hell tasted good to me. The idea that "real men..." do A or B but not C is ridiculous. There is no diversity within sexes? And in the bar milieu where the Stud (good) and the Slut (bad) are still prevailing icons, I think I have a limited chance of finding exciting new ways to define who I am.
I remember reading an article that said "Maxim" rated cars on the basis of being "man" or "chick" cars. The whole premise is based on sexist garbage.
Posted by: B8ovin | August 3, 2007 12:58 PM
The margaritas at your local mexican restaurant don't check your pants to see if you're worthy. They just taste good.
Posted by: Garrett | August 3, 2007 1:09 PM
What is this, freshman year at Podunk U.? Good grief. Who cares?
Posted by: wintersweet | August 3, 2007 3:09 PM
Whats with the frat rat reunion? This isn't funny, its just a cheap stab at sex/gender grading. Rather a despicable move from a "science blog" entry.
Posted by: Matt | August 3, 2007 3:43 PM
Yes, let the girly men drink those bright pretty drinks - they'll make better targets - bang bang = dead girly boy...too sad, too bad
Posted by: zee | August 3, 2007 4:14 PM
poor poor people taking this entry seriously...
Posted by: Steve Higgins | August 3, 2007 4:21 PM