Pharyngula

The Legendary Pinkoski

I guess I’m not the only fan of the weirdness that is Jim Pinkoski—another collection of Pinkoskisms has been unearthed at Ooblog.

i-53119de201b097a0b818bebbb4de548e-pygmies+dwarfs.gif

Comments

  1. #1 Stephen
    January 29, 2006

    Wow, kooky. The latest Chick Tract matches that level of absurdity. You can find it here http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1024/1024_01.asp?wpc=1024_01.asp&wpp=a

    What I took away from it is that anyone with a degree in theology is a polytheist.

  2. #2 george cauldron
    January 29, 2006

    Is this what the group ‘They Might Be Giants’ was referring to?

    That Jack Chick comic doesn’t look like his normal work. He must be farming work out to his assistants in his dotage.

  3. #3 arc_legion
    January 29, 2006

    Yeah, reading that was kinda creepy – notice the association of education with being an asshole? Oh, well. It’s the same old fear-mongering.

  4. #4 RavenT
    January 29, 2006

    hmmmmm. First, Jesus sends a divine wind to protect his own against a military enemy. Second, Mary, the Buddha, and Allah are specifically dissed, but the name of Amaterasu is conspicuously left out of his derision.

    Maybe Jack Chick is a closet Shintoist.

  5. #5 Kristine
    January 29, 2006

    Those “sinless aliens” sure are cute…Satan is pretty hot in spandex, too. I won’t say what I’m thinking about 15-foot Adam. And was that Jesus in the Skywalker costume? Jesus was a babe! How come nobody told us that in Sunday School?

    Pinkoski’s not doing a very good job of keeping me holy.

  6. #6 spencer
    January 29, 2006

    Wow, that Chick tract was strange . . .

    But let me get this straight. God is love, and Jesus loves you, but if you don’t accept Jesus as your personal savior, God – who is love – will not hesitate to send you to burn in lakes of fire and sulphur for all eternity.

    Makes sense to me.

  7. #7 arensb
    January 29, 2006

    God – who is love – will not hesitate to send you to burn in lakes of fire

    That’s one of the two tenets of the fundie faith. The other is “Sex is vile and disgusting, and you should save it for the person you love.”

  8. #8 mark
    January 29, 2006

    Seems like “devolution” discussed by certain creationist crackpots.

  9. #9 Ralph Dosser
    January 29, 2006

    Spencer, George Carlin nailed this one down:

    “There’s an invisible man – who lives in the sky – who watches everything you do. And there’s 10 things he doesn’t want you to do or else you’ll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you…and he needs money.”

  10. #10 Thlayli
    January 29, 2006

    That’s one butch Bordeaux drinker ­čśë

  11. #11 Anonymous
    January 29, 2006

    I recently read an article in the Adventist Review asking why it is that Seventh-day Adventists don’t receive more publicity than they do. Their long-term opposition to evolution and promotion of creationism was one point the author brought up. As ex-SDA Ron Numbers has pointed out, creationism (and by extention, ID–look at how Behe simply ripped off a bunch of examples of organisms and organs that “can’t evolve” from the YECs, and without giving the proper credit (he’s legal in doing this, but hardly adhering to the appropriate academic standards)) has some extensive roots in Adventism.

    Well don’t blame Myers and some of the other fans of Pinkoski. If it’s one of the wooliest and weirdest versions of Adventism that makes its way into blog consciousness (to be fair, the SDA’s GRI is one of the “best” creationist organizations, being generally careful in its claims as compared with AiG or many others), it’s sheer Adventism all the way.

    At least ol’ Jim is willing to use the SDA prophet’s (Ellen White) version of things in his depictions. The 15 foot figure for Adam is almost certainly related to White’s claim that Adam was over twice the height of modern men. You don’t get that out of the SDA’s GRI–but then why not? Don’t the people at GRI believe their prophet? Probably not, or at least not more so than the White Estate, which fails to publish “God’s Word” about masturbation (you know, causes blindness, retardation, etc.) originally published as “A Solemn Appeal to Mothers” (yes, Ellen White again). Funny how God’s messages are not to be shared with the populace.

    Pinkoski, and the more raw versions of Ellen White, are the sorts of Adventism that the hierarchy of the SDAs don’t want publicized too much. But they’re really far more interesting than official Adventism with their “sober creationism”, and I’d say that Adventism ought to be grateful to Myers for bringing Pinkoski, his mentor Ron Wyatt, and by proxy, Ellen White, to the attention of the blogosphere.

    It’s a bit of ID’s roots that the Discovery Institute wants very much to ignore. But they owe Pinkoski and every other strange little creationist out there, because if it were not for these people, no one would begin to listen to the DI and their “fellows”.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/b8ykm

  12. #12 Kieran
    January 29, 2006

    That’s quite a pair of shorts Adam is wearing. Itchy, I imagine.

  13. #13 Dr. Marco
    January 29, 2006

    If that is true, then I must be a very bad sinner because I am only 5’4″

  14. #14 Ian B Gibson
    January 29, 2006

    Wow! Adam wa 15 feet tall? I hope the fig leaves were bigger 5000 years ago, as well!

  15. #15 Patrick Taylor
    January 29, 2006

    @george cauldron

    Is this what the group ‘They Might Be Giants’ was referring to?

    Nah, the band’s name was a reference to a 1971 movie (starring George C. Scott) whose title was a reference to Don Quixote’s confusion when the giants he tilted at turned out to be windmills.

  16. #16 Dave Dobson
    January 30, 2006

    Now, he didn’t draw Adam or Noah right – if they were really 2-2.5 times as tall as we are, you’d expect them to have legs that are far wider, assuming bone strength is roughly equivalent. A Noah that’s twice as tall but proportional to would presumably have roughly eight times the mass. If his leg strength is related to their cross-sectional area, he’d need legs about four times as thick, or twice as thick in relation to his body as modern humans. See leg diameters of elephants and mice relative to their body size for comparison.

    Here’s how he’d really look:
    http://snood.pair.com/MegaAdam.jpg

    Of course, God gave them stronger bone material and/or bigger shorts, yadda yadda.

  17. #17 mothworm
    January 30, 2006

    What the hell is up with the bumfights and Conan the Barbarian? Jesus, that just makes no sense at all.

  18. #18 Matt McIrvin
    January 30, 2006

    No, no, no, Adam didn’t need wider legs; the Felt Effect of Gravity was weaker then because the Earth was orbiting Saturn and Saturn was pulling upward on everybody. Haven’t you read your Ted Holden?

  19. #19 mds
    January 30, 2006

    You know, I sense a science fiction story in this generational “shrinking humans” schtick. Humanity could be living within a landscape that actually consists of the ever-shrinking works of our ancestors. The Southern Badlands would actually be an ancient subdivision, etc. And the massive artifacts of the era of our extremely long-lived, fifteen-foot-tall ancestors would be titantic beyond our six-inch-tall conception.

    Granted, some of this architecture-as-environment bit was used in Feersum Endjinn, but it didn’t result from giants who lived centuries as we live decades.

    Wait, Pinkoski means for this all to be fictional, right?

  20. #20 Steve
    January 30, 2006

    Speaking of cartoons, check out this Doctor Fun cartoon:
    http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df200601/df20060118.jpg

  21. #21 Kristjan Wager
    January 30, 2006

    What’s up with the Darth Vader mask?

  22. #22 cm
    January 30, 2006

    I recently read the exact opposite take on the religious angle to human height. Some kook (is his name George Hammond?) claims that humans are getting taller, and therefore our brains are getting larger, and once we get sufficiently tall and big brained, we will be able to see what God sees, and therefore be gods ourselves. I believe he calls this height increase over history the “secular trend”. It’s actually rather creative stuff.

  23. #23 Kristine
    January 30, 2006

    Honey, I shrunk the creation!

    Come to think of Sunday School, I remember the specific day when they told us that Jesus was God, and all the kids retorted, “Nuh-uh, he isn’t!” Then one of them asked, “Does that mean that Jesus created the world?” and our teacher said, “No.” ??? Guess they hadn’t seen Pinkoski’s “Jesus made man and all the aliens” theory.

  24. #24 G. Tingey
    January 30, 2006

    I’m surprised no-one has mentioned a well-known bit of biophysics … The Square-Cube law.

    Or were the rules of physics DIFFERENT then?

    Errrr ……

  25. #25 dbpitt
    January 30, 2006

    I’m confused. Is this a joke or not?

  26. #26 Richard
    January 30, 2006

    If the world is 4,000 years old, at this rate of shrinkage humans will be sizeless by the year 6700. Any pygmies and dwarves will then of course have a negative height. Let’s hope judgement day happens before then…

  27. #27 BronzeDog
    January 30, 2006

    I’m surprised no-one has mentioned a well-known bit of biophysics … The Square-Cube law.

    Or were the rules of physics DIFFERENT then?

    [Sarcasm=”Off_the_chart”]

    It’s all thanks to the pre-flood vapor canopy! Don’t you know anything?

    [/Sarcasm]

  28. #28 george cauldron
    January 30, 2006

    Should I also point out that Adam there is of course a nice, clean-shaven white person?

  29. #29 A
    January 31, 2006

    Of course, that 15-foot-tall Adam/Hercules/whatever was actually a mastodon. Or dinosaur. Or something else, depending on where you were and what fossils you could easily find.

  30. #30 Wil Nusser
    February 1, 2006

    I think that I’d like to make the “Come and drink with me, or I’ll kill you!” into a T-shirt… hilarious!

  31. #31 https://me.yahoo.com/a/5o0lZdor2uZgaAYDn3Mc.Ux1F7CJaA--#ac51b
    March 11, 2010

    You should see this lol:
    http://www.wolftEAMhACKS.net

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