…and this is a 
I guess nobody likes Bruce Willis
Category: Entertainment
Posted on: March 27, 2006 10:24 PM, by PZ Myers
So…I went to that Bruce Willis movie I mentioned earlier. It was OK, a rather predictable cop thriller in which he does his usual schtick of getting beat up and bloodied and shot, while still defeating the bad guys at nearly every turn—but at the same time he doesn't do the hokey super-cop stuff we saw in the Die Hard movies. At least I was pleasantly surprised, as I went in to it with low expectations.
I mentioned that we usually don't have a problem with obnoxious people here, though, and that was true tonight, but for a different reason: I was the only person at the movie.
There I was, front row center, in a lovely old art deco movie theater, big screen, popcorn, the works…and it was all just for me. It was much nicer than you'll get with your usual home theater set up.
Comments
Was the sound any good? I did my undergrad in a small town with a one-screen, old-style theater, and while the ambience was quite nice, they had yet to buy surround sound. My friends and I always drove 15 minutes to the cineplex in the nearby small city.
Posted by: CL | March 27, 2006 10:50 PM
around here we have some great small scale theaters, such as this one:
http://www.mcmenamins.com/index.php?loc=9
(McMenamins is a local brewpub chain that does a great line in this sort of place).
Apart from the small scale atmosphere and old world feel, the best part is that there are tables in front of the seats and you can take your beer and pizza in with you...
Posted by: Bored Huge Krill | March 27, 2006 11:10 PM
I got to see Robocop that way in its first run (though it was at a multiplex. It was an odd experience -- they actually started a few minutes late hoping that someone was going to buy a ticket.
Posted by: Mnemosyne | March 27, 2006 11:40 PM
I got to see Robocop that way in its first run (though it was at a multiplex. It was an odd experience -- they actually started a few minutes late hoping that someone was going to buy a ticket.
Um. I've produced far too many shows where I've had to hold a show in order to get an audience....
Posted by: gwangung | March 27, 2006 11:42 PM
The college town I live in has several screens in a pair of locations and offers discounted tickets on Tuesdays. Hence the busy movie-going days in town are Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. You can get a good seat for almost any Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday matinee, and sometimes you'll be one of only a handful of people present. Quite nice!
Posted by: Zeno | March 28, 2006 12:23 AM
I can tell you this much, PZ: If I were in charge of the Morris theater, I would just show the Scolopendra movie before each feature and watch the crowds roll in. If there was ever a movie designed to be shown on the big screen......
Posted by: Cinatyte | March 28, 2006 1:26 AM
I was all alone in a theatre for a Bruce Willis movie once, but that was Twelve Monkeys - a great movie to have a whole theater to yourself for.
Posted by: craig | March 28, 2006 2:15 AM
Speaking of theater experiences, one of the things I love about living in the Netherlands is that you can always take your beer in with you (or wine or...). Never mind that there are other people there most of the time. The other nice thing is the mid-movie pause, though that was weird at first.
Posted by: daniel bosold | March 28, 2006 2:34 AM
Last time that happened to me, it was a rainy vacation afternoon and I saw "Nanny McPhee" with the kids. Like you, it was better than I had hoped. And thank goodness Emma recovered a little of her gorgeous complexion by the end.
Posted by: Alethea | March 28, 2006 5:06 AM
I once went to a movie showing at 1am. my friend and I were the first two in, we thought we were going to be alone until two more people (whom we did not know) came in. We had free pick of the seats since this cinema does not allocate beforehand.
where did they sit?
right in front of us, of course.
humans, I tell ya.
Posted by: Jet Black | March 28, 2006 5:35 AM
I saw a movie in the theatre alone once ... some deep and convoluted story of a boy yearning to become a man ... O.K., I admit it ... it was Spongebob Squarepants. And I snuck my own snacks in, hoping all the other people would provide cover, but what other people.
What is it with the giant drinks and popcorn they try to push on you? How much popcorn can one person eat?
Posted by: Dave S. | March 28, 2006 7:25 AM
I got to see "Iron Giant" that way. :D
And because it was a tuesday matinee, I got a private showing for half off the price of a regular ticket.
Posted by: Left_Wing_Fox | March 28, 2006 9:20 AM
The weirdest moviegoing experience I ever had was also at the Morris theater: it was being renovated, and all of the seats were town out. but they were showing Trainspotting anyway, and if you wanted to watch, you could just bring your own seat... so I watched Trainspotting from a beanbag on the floor, surrounded by people doing the same. Surreal movie to begin with, but the circumstances made it way more so.
The luckiest/smartest people were the ones who'd dragged a couch in.
Posted by: Keith | March 28, 2006 9:42 AM
This happened to my wife when she lived on the Isle of Wight and went to see East is East. She wondered why the guy in the ticket office seemed so annoyed that she bought a ticket, and then found that she was the only person in the theater (or cinema as they say there). So to make them feel better she did her best to over-laugh - bouncing her shoulders etc - so that the projectionist would feel like at least someone was enjoying it and that their time wasn't totally wasted. She's very considerate like that.
Posted by: Andrew Mogendorff | March 28, 2006 10:31 AM
Paul wrote:
"I mentioned that we usually don't have a problem with obnoxious people here,"
It's all a matter of perspective and culture. As a former New Yorker, I became aware of these differences early on.
"When black people know they're the majority of the audience, they don't follow all those white-people rules about prim audience behavior.
They talk back at the screen. They wisecrack. They join right in with the show.
It's like going to church. In African-American culture, most folks don't think that church is about sitting silently while the preacher edifies them and the choir sings. They answer the preacher all the time; they sing along or move to the music.
It only makes sense that they respond to movies the same way -- out loud, exuberantly. American blacks don't show respect by being silent -- they show love by opening up their hearts and making noise about it." - Orson Scott Card
Posted by: charlie wagner | March 28, 2006 11:18 AM
Ah movies. Sneaking into them, sneaking Red Vines and Mr Pibb into The Chronicles of Narnia.... For those of you that haven't seen this, it needs to be seen:
http://www.chronicofnarnia.com/
Its all about the Hamilton's baby.
Posted by: Shelley | March 28, 2006 12:53 PM
That link is dead, here's the real deal (javascript popup)
javascript: void window.open('/nbc/Video/?c=Saturday_Night_Live/snl_1432_narnia&n=saturday_night_live','nbcVPlayer','width=728,height=410,location=0,menubar=0,resizable=0,scrollbars=0,status=0,titlebar=0,toolbar=0');
Posted by: Shelley | March 28, 2006 12:55 PM
And if that repeats very often, then say goodbye to the lovely old art deco movie theater.
A buddy and I saw _The Matrix_ in a relatively nice theater on a Monday. We were the only people in the theater, and the only complaint I had about the experience was that the movie was projected incorrectly - part of the movie was on the curtains on the theater walls.
On second thought, perhaps that was intentional. "The Matrix is everywhere."
Posted by: Rick @ shrimp and grits | March 28, 2006 2:36 PM
Ah... I went to see 'Toy Story' in that very theater. Pixar had the good sense to release that movie when Morris was teaching a 'computer animation' class. T'was fun.
Posted by: corwin | March 28, 2006 2:39 PM
Not only does Charlie Wagner figure that we need to be told that black American "audience culture" is different than white American audience culture, but he quotes eminent black culture documentarian (and ID apologist) Orson Scott Card as his authoritative source.
This could only remind me of Jennifer Aniston's comments about Brad Pitt's lack of a "sensitivity chip." Either Charlie is waxing much more ironic than usual, or he's displaying massive audience insensitivity.
I hope, however, that he at least appreciates being compared with Mr. Pitt. Probably the only time THAT'S gonna happen!
Posted by: Steviepinhead | March 28, 2006 4:51 PM
Steviepinhead wrote:
"Either Charlie is waxing much more ironic than usual, or he's displaying massive audience insensitivity."
Touche!
Posted by: charlie wagner | March 28, 2006 7:24 PM
Personally, I don't mind people talking back to the screen and participating in the movie. That's a lot of fun.
The people I hate are the ones who talk to each other, or on their cell phones, ignoring the movie entirely. Why the hell would you pay $10 for the privilege of talking on your goddamned cellphone?
Posted by: Mnemosyne | March 28, 2006 10:09 PM
$10 for a movie? Wow, things are getting Tokyo expensive out there in in Nowheresville. Hey, here's a helpful hint: you can always enjoy your cinemagic in peaceful isolation if you just close the door to your booth, wanker.
Posted by: skyview satellite | March 28, 2006 10:27 PM