…and this is a 
Connie Morris is the lead creationist kook on the Kansas state board of education. She recently took a tour of a middle school and was horrified at the depravity on display:
State Board of Education member Connie Morris took exception Wednesday to a picture of a made-up creature that satirizes the state's new science standards hanging on a Stucky Middle School teacher's door.
Fellow board member Sue Gamble told The Eagle that Morris asked for the picture to be removed.
It was a picture of…The Flying Spaghetti Monster!
You know, when word gets out that pictures of noodles and meatballs get Connie Morris all twitterpated, there is going to be a thousand of these blooming on school teachers doors now. Especially since, when Morris asked the principal to have it removed, the teacher was advised that a school board member had no jurisdiction on the matter…and the picture is still up.
Comments
Posted by: Caledonian | April 13, 2006 7:56 AM
That's 'principal' -- although the current spelling is oddly appropriate, anyway.
Posted by: Peter McGrath | April 13, 2006 7:56 AM
Well, if God had a proper Protestant work ethic he'd have worked the seventh day, too, and we might have had the line, "And God gave man a sense of humour." So Ms Morris's rectitude is perfectly...sorry, I can't go on, otherwise I might come out with something about gnosis being found on the fronts of gnusis.
Posted by: Dave Munger | April 13, 2006 8:00 AM
Board chairman Steve Abrams, who voted for the new standards, didn't see the picture but said he thinks that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is silly.
"Personally, I think it's juvenile," he said.
How dare he insult the sincerely held religious beliefs of another! Doesn't he understand that faith is a deeply personal matter?
Posted by: grubi | April 13, 2006 8:08 AM
Juvenile? No more juvenile than believing in Magical Ghosty Man and his Conjuring Son.
Posted by: Aa | April 13, 2006 8:28 AM
Hey, the FSM is on my door also and I've only gotten complements.
Granted, I work on a college campus but you think I'd hear a few complaints at least...sigh.
Posted by: wamba | April 13, 2006 8:43 AM
Religion in the public schools is only OK if it's my religion.
Posted by: Joseph j7uy5 | April 13, 2006 8:43 AM
Do you suppose that Bill O'Reilly will go on Fox News, and decry the war on spaghetti monsters?
Posted by: David Wilford | April 13, 2006 8:45 AM
I would love to ask Morris why she thought the FSM picture should have been removed, because she made a serious request that I presume had a serious motive. But as she ducked calls from the newspaper, I doubt we ever will now.
Posted by: dan | April 13, 2006 8:45 AM
Email Connie Morris your favorite creation[myth]figure FSM, or whatever. Not sure but this was what a simple googling: Connie Morris kansas gave on the first linked page [http://www.ksde.org/commiss/ksbe5.html conniemorris2010@yahoo.com ]
She can use your image on her web page or as watermarks in her personal email!
Posted by: An Enquiring Mind | April 13, 2006 8:48 AM
I submitted the followin' comment, wonder if'un it'll make on the Eagle comment board:
The FSM looks tasty. Is it edible like the "Body of Christ?"
Posted by: RickD | April 13, 2006 8:49 AM
The principal is your pal. :)
Posted by: An Enquiring Mind | April 13, 2006 8:59 AM
Praise the FSM! My comment made it so far.
Posted by: Kristine | April 13, 2006 9:06 AM
I put the chocolate Easter Bunny that my boss left for me on top of the little shrine of Kali-Ma on my desk, and no one has complained yet. Easter Bunny sticks out his two buck teeth, and Kali's sticking out her tongue like Gene Simmons. All hail Kali-Bunny!
Posted by: Rocky | April 13, 2006 9:15 AM
Brothers and sisters, can I get a "Ramen"!!!!!!
http://www.liberalconspiracynetwork.com/kansasmorons/
is another great site about Connie Morris and her group, what a bunch of putzes.
Posted by: 386sx | April 13, 2006 9:30 AM
I kinda feel sorry for Ms. Morris. I gather from reading her bio that she had a pretty rough childhood and she gives Jesus all the credit for pulling her out of her troubles. Maybe if she gave herself a little more credit she might like evolution more. Okay, maybe that's a non sequitur but we're talking about religious fundamentalism here, and that's full of non sequiturs so it's okay.
Posted by: Foob | April 13, 2006 9:33 AM
Umm, isn't posting the FSM a clear violation of the establishment clause? Oh, except that this is okay, because it's your religion...
Posted by: yorktank | April 13, 2006 9:38 AM
I knew wearing my FSM shirt today would pay dividends. Randy Mousley, you are an American hero!
Posted by: yorktank | April 13, 2006 9:48 AM
Surely you jest, Foob.
Posted by: Keith Douglas | April 13, 2006 9:50 AM
I haven't had any spaghetti for ages ... maybe that's why I feel so listless sometimes ...
Posted by: wamba | April 13, 2006 10:07 AM
No it is not an establishment violation because:1) It was not being taught in science class as science. It was posted in a teacher's personal space, and thus is no more a violation than a Christer hanging up a Christmas card.
2) It's OK because it's my religion.
Is that clear enough?
Posted by: thelemurgod | April 13, 2006 10:22 AM
Umm, isn't posting the FSM a clear violation of the establishment clause?
What's so damn great about this situation is that no matter how she would react, it works to her disadvantage. If she were to try and ignore it, then the satire of FSM gets preached to a new generation of creationist-critics, if she tries to do away with it, then she is trying to get religion out of schools and tears away a piece of her own (already unsteady) foundation.
It's all like a thrilling game of chess (or go, if I had may preference)!
Posted by: Great Cthulhu | April 13, 2006 10:28 AM
I'm not sure who this FSM poseur thinks he is, but if I ever meet him, I'm gonna kick his wanna-be arse down a flight of stairs.
Posted by: Tree Crocodile | April 13, 2006 10:41 AM
This is either worse than you think, or not as bad (some days it goes like that). It is possible that Ms. Morris mistook the FSM for a Pastafarian, and we all know what that means.
Posted by: Rob X. | April 13, 2006 11:24 AM
thelemurgod: "What's so damn great about this situation is that no matter how she would react, it works to her disadvantage."
That's what I like about Pastafarianism. Rather than be some counter-cultural, anti-religion like Satanism or The Church of the Subgenius, it is instead an Evangelical style pro-religious satire. Instead of protesting religious intrusions into government, it demands that its ludicrous pasta god be given the same rights as the Christian god. In aligning themselves on the same side as fundamentalist Christians who would put god into government, they've forced those Christians who are anti-FSM to point out the absurdity of their own arguments.
Posted by: QrazyQat | April 13, 2006 11:31 AM
Is it edible like the "Body of Christ?"
It's a lot more satisfying and nutrious -- you can actually live on it. Those skinny little wafers don't even keep you from getting drunk on the wine.
Posted by: Dave Puskala | April 13, 2006 11:34 AM
Rocky, thanks for the link. I loved the story about Theodore Hutton's tragicomic death. Drinking had to be involved in his mooning-related fatal fall. This ID supporter should definitely get a Darwin award with oakleaf clusters.
Posted by: BronzeDog | April 13, 2006 11:34 AM
Because, in the end, there's absolutely no difference between Christianity, Oprahism, and FSMism.Posted by: RavenT | April 13, 2006 11:44 AM
Those skinny little wafers don't even keep you from getting drunk on the wine.
Back in junior high, once my friends and I observed that if you sit in the back rows, you get bigger swigs from the cup (because the priest is trying to use up the remaining wine), we never sat up front again.
Posted by: JoeB | April 13, 2006 12:26 PM
RavenT:
At the Catholic Church I used to attend with my parents, they always had problems conserving the wine until the end. I think everybody just needs a little buzz on a Sunday morning.
Posted by: Bruce Thompson | April 13, 2006 12:49 PM
...they always had problems conserving the wine until the end. I think everybody just needs a little buzz on a Sunday morning.
Especially if you didn't have breakfast before mass.
Posted by: John McKay | April 13, 2006 1:42 PM
Doesn't true religious and intellectual freedom demand that students be exposed to all sides of the controversy? How dare they censor the Pastafarian point of view! I'm feeling oppressed by this blatant bigotry. It's time we Pastafarians stood up and were counted. And what better way to be counted than through a class-action law suit?
Posted by: Jeff L | April 13, 2006 2:04 PM
For a delightful hit piece on Connie Morris, check this out:
http://www.pitch.com/Issues/2005-08-18/news/feature.html
Posted by: Will E. | April 13, 2006 3:07 PM
The article says Morris "had publicly written off the theory of evolution in her newsletter as an 'age-old fairytale.'"
It must be wonderful to possess a mind so unfettered with irony.
Posted by: Rey | April 13, 2006 4:21 PM
Stick, meet ass.
There are people who should never be granted any kind of authority. Naturally, they are the ones that want it the most. Authoroholics, perhaps we could call them.
Posted by: BronzeDog | April 13, 2006 4:27 PM
"A great warrior does not seek power. It is thrust upon them." -Worf, probably quoting Kahless or something.
Posted by: MikeM | April 13, 2006 5:10 PM
This one's actually a little tough for me. It's clear that Morris has had little or no higher education, and probably didn't exactly take advantage of even her K-12 education.
And, it's true, she hopped from one addition (drugs and sex) to another (Jesus). And, the abuse, the incredible lack of self-respect, the Karl Rove-ian attacks on the character of others.
And the abuse.
She needs some serious counseling, but will never get it. She needs to figure out why she hates herself so much (Duh, I think we can see it, but she can't; that's a problem).
Someone with no education serving on the State Board of Education, though. That should have been the end of it right there. Aren't there standards for this sort of thing? Before you stand in judgement of state education standards, shouldn't she get an education first?
I want my accountant to have training; I want my car mechanic to have training. Where's Connie Morris's training? Morris has problems, and she even has my sympathy... But she has ZERO sense of humor, and should not be setting education policy.
The FSM is a great joke. All Morris is proving that she doesn't get it. I'd love to take this woman to a Monty Python film festival one day. Is there anyone in greater need than Connie Morris?
Posted by: Rocky | April 13, 2006 5:50 PM
Connie and her ilk are unfortunately "our" own fault as a society. No intellegent person runs for the office because "life is just too damm busy to be on the school board", and the crazy wacko religious kooks, who want to control us all win by default. And, by their own admission, that's exactly their plan of action.
Posted by: MikeM | April 13, 2006 6:02 PM
Oh, Cripes, now she's trying to get books banned, too:
http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/14317960.htm
Would she ban her own book?
Posted by: c | April 13, 2006 6:21 PM
Thanks MikeM! The headline:
"State BOE raises concerns over books in classroom"
is rather wonderful.
Posted by: Trogdor | April 13, 2006 7:06 PM
Trogdor hate silly pasta beast. Trogdor laugh at silly pasta beast. Trogdor BURNINATE silly pasta beast. Trogdor nosh gleeful on crispy pasta beast. Trogdo happy.
Posted by: John C. Randolph | April 13, 2006 8:14 PM
What was the silly infidel bint wearing when she viewed the Noodly One (sauce be upon him)?
If she was not properly attired with an eyepatch, then off with her head! Aarr!
-jcr
Posted by: Keith Douglas | April 14, 2006 9:19 AM
This truly is a thread of wonders. Both Cthulhu and Trogdor have shown up. Who is next, Bullwinkle and Megaman?
Posted by: wamba | April 14, 2006 3:58 PM
Oh, c'mon. Have Bullwinkle and Megaman ever been seen together in the same room?Posted by: Bullwinkle | April 16, 2006 8:20 AM
Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull some intelligence out of a creationist!
Posted by: Steve_C | August 3, 2006 5:09 PM
http://www.venganza.org/images/fsm-spotting.mpg
Posted by: Watchman | August 3, 2006 5:30 PM
The Prince has Risen! I belieeeeeeve!