Pharyngula

Hey, I think it's great practice for me. I'm planning on playing/fighting on the AntiChrist's side after rapture anyways.

Of course what I don't get, is that how can you play a "conservative Christian" since all of them will supposedly get raptured?

Posted by: daenku32 | May 30, 2006 2:15 PM

Here I am, innocently bashing promoters and this popped into my RSS reader. At first, I figure surely this is a joke. Then I nearly stroke-out when I realize it's totally freakin' serious. People who get off on this stuff are truly insane/lacking empathy/demonic.

Doesn't the bible say in the end times good will be bad and bad will be fun, or something?

Posted by: Jeb | May 30, 2006 2:35 PM

Wait... Is Adam wearing tidy whities in that pic?

I'd certainly like to see someone do a Muslim mod, just for the sake of exposing any double-standards and hypocracy among the promoters.

Posted by: Bronze Dog | May 30, 2006 2:47 PM

I love the spelling mistakes in the interface, which tell me everything I need to know about the people behind the development.

Posted by: KeithM | May 30, 2006 2:49 PM

PZ, you've been had. This is a piece from The Onion.

isn't it...?

please, dear god*, tell me it's from the fucking Onion...

*figuratively speaking, obviously ;-)

Posted by: Millimeter Wave | May 30, 2006 2:55 PM

It's old news, but I just realized that Bill Nye had Rick Warren perform the service at his wedding. I thought he was supposed to be the nice, skepticy guy. Do TV cameras cause brain damage?

I'd suspect the blame for that would go to Nye's now wife, the author Blair Tindall. She always liked to talk about "spirtuality" in interviews, although to be honest, I thought I had her pegged as a New Ager, not a Fundy.

Posted by: Jonathan Badger | May 30, 2006 3:20 PM

Well, assuming it was real, my only question would be "How good a game is it?" The subject matter for the first-person shooter genre is always, shall we say, morally suspect and the more outrageous the justification the better. If it's a good game--that is, fun to play without being bogged down in extraneous preaching--it could sell. It would no more convert players to Christian Dominionism than Doom makes them believe in demons on Mars.
Mind, anybody who's connected with 'Left Behind' probably knows nothing about pacing or action, so I suspect it would be far too boring to actually get played.

Steve "Especially if parents approve of it" James

Posted by: longstreet | May 30, 2006 3:21 PM

I pretty much agree with longstreet. In practice, there isn't a chance in hell that this is going to be a good game, because it's being made by people who know shit all about good game design and who have a proselytising agenda. But in principle the Rapture would be a fantastic setting for, say, a System Shock style RPG. All the fun of the Left Behind books without the godawful writing! It's a ready-built gameworld full of intrigue, conflict and challenges that doesn't have any of the cliche baggage of your usual post-apocalyptic environment.

Posted by: Ginger Yellow | May 30, 2006 3:45 PM

There was a video game like this that Rod & Tod Flanders played once, tho there I think the goal was just to convert the heathens. ("You just winged him! Now he's a unitarian!") There wasn't a notion that killing them was just as acceptable.

Once again, art imitates life. And once again, our worst stereotypes of hardcore born agains are all confirmed.

Posted by: George Cauldron | May 30, 2006 3:51 PM

Wait... Is Adam wearing tidy whities in that pic?

Yes.

Posted by: Greco | May 30, 2006 3:54 PM

Okay...it IS real. Wow.

I can't find much detail on the specifics of the story, but I suspect this is inaccurate:

You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians.

I figure the Bad-Guys-Who-Must-Be-Slain will all be obvious demons or humans who will be presented as insane cultists, terrorists or (evil) trained, organized forces, as implied by the mention of the Global Community Peacekeepers.

The above excerpt implies you're encouraged to just walk up and kill average people on the street who don't share your religious affiliations...I don't think that's the case. If it is, they may as well have just taken whatever credibility they had with the general public, packed it into a rocket, and fired it into the sun.

This was apparently exhibited at E3. A friend of a friend attended, so I've sent a note asking about it, though I doubt they even noticed it, or got much detail if they did.

Posted by: rrt | May 30, 2006 4:01 PM

It's telling that they set this game in New York City. Fundies have always had it in for that city -- it seems to symbolize the exact opposite of their fantasy White Protestant small town Grant Wood utopia, even more than LA or SF. So when they fantasize about offing nonbelievers, of course they go straight to the belly of the beast.

The funny thing is there are other cities in the world that are MUCH more wicked or much less Christian than NYC, but part of the whole Fundie mindset seems to be acting as tho the rest of the world outside America is beneath your notice.

Posted by: George Cauldron | May 30, 2006 4:11 PM

From the game design, rather than the "culture wars," perspective, the Christian end-of-the-world story is actually excellent grist for a real-time strategy game. The symbolism and plot sketched out in Revelations is vivid but lose enough that you can create dramatic tension by keeping the audience guessing as to how the familiar elements will appear while providing many opportunities for battles. The unit and character designers can draw from both mythological beings and modern weapons. In the hands of competent designers, it could make an excellent game.

Unfortunately, this game looks like it won't deliver on the potential contained in the biblical source material (I'm not familiar with how "Left Behind" itself treats the material, so I can't say if they were painted into a corner). The scale should be much larger - the military campaign leading to the end of the world should be epic in scale, not squad-level. The character design looks lame considering what they could have done and the units and backgrounds look enough alike to be confusing. Plus, the generally substandard quality of "Christian" and product tie-in games (there are some exceptions to the later - can't think of any for the former) does not bode well for it.

Posted by: MattXIV | May 30, 2006 4:16 PM

"This game immerses children..."

I like how it keeps refering to children - is the author of this review unaware that the majority of gamers are older than 18? Yes, many 13-year-olds will play such games - but they neither make up the majority of the players, nor are they accurately refered to as "children". I don't know about anyone else, but when I see the word "children" I think "7-year-old" not "15-year-old". Misleading statements in the review, but I doubt intentionally misleading.

As was pointed out above, nobody playing Doom started believing in demons from another dimension running around on Mars. Find me an example of someone who did, and I'll show you someone who was delusional before playing the game.

Longstreet said "the more outrageous the justification the better." and I agree. Completely silly makes games more fun.

Posted by: TheBrummell | May 30, 2006 4:19 PM

Bronze Dog - Maybe the Rapture will implemented via the rolling up of true believers with inexplicably sticky ball of junk of ever increasing size.

Posted by: MattXIV | May 30, 2006 4:40 PM

Looking at the screenshot - I'm left wondering ... Why is God surrounded by muscular, nude young men and colorful bedsheets?

Posted by: ulg | May 30, 2006 5:16 PM

I don't know how widely this is known, but the purple whatever behind God and the angels [poorly reproduced here] is an anatomically correct cross-section of the human brain. Right up there on the chapel ceiling.

Somebody was studying cadavers. Find a good photo and check it out yourself. My source -- Zippy the Pinhead. I believe the punch line was "God sweats the details." Zipster also said this was discovered by a neurologist who walked in on a tour, looked up, and said, "Hey, that's a brain up there."

Posted by: SkookumPlanet | May 30, 2006 5:46 PM

If it's a hoax, the NYTimes fell for it.

http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F1071FFD3C550C718CDDAA0894DE404482

I don't buy times select, so I can't read the whole article, but the abstract names the same CEO that the website PZ mentioned does.

Posted by: PennyBright | May 30, 2006 6:13 PM

PennyBright said:

I don't buy times select, so I can't read the whole article, but the abstract names the same CEO that the website PZ mentioned does.

Posted by: Big C | May 30, 2006 6:39 PM

If this is a hoax someone put a lot of effort into it. There's a video "trailer" for the game along with a preview article that's not played at all for irony or humor:

http://pc.gamespy.com/pc/left-behind-eternal-forces/

Bart: Ooh, full conversion!
Rod: No, you just winged him and made him a Unitarian.

No footlongs.

Posted by: BJN | May 30, 2006 6:48 PM

Heh, it's like Command and Conquer with Nod as the "good guys."

Sooner or later I'm gonna have to publish a series of critiques of the Left Behind series, possibly titled "Horse's Behind." ^.^

Posted by: Azkyroth | May 30, 2006 6:59 PM

No, this is not a hoax. Not only is there plenty of information available about the game on the internet - including gaming sites, but I've actually seen the box at the local GameStop -- they have the pre-order boxes in stores *right now*.

Posted by: BC | May 30, 2006 7:04 PM

Well, this IS in an Onion article, "New Triple-X Dinosaur Park Opens In Nevada" and well worth reading for the punchline.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48974

Salacious in the Cretaceous. heh.

Posted by: Jake B. Cool | May 30, 2006 8:15 PM

Lol, this game looks awesome. I just hope the gameplay is as good as the screenshots. Another good game would be a RTS where you play a terrorist / mujahideen freedom fighter carrying out missions for Allah, and you could switch sides to be the brave israeli soldier / heartless invader oppressor and hunt down the palestinian hamas scum.

It would hame for a good game I think, if done right. It would probably play a lot like a really close-up version of ufo aftermath, or maybe (to a lesser degree) command and conquer generals.

Despite it's dubious provenance, this doesn't sound like a bad game (although if it's programmed by the same people who commissioned it, it's going to suck)

=)

Posted by: the_blur | May 30, 2006 8:39 PM

a better link:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/God2-Sistine_Chapel.png

It is based on Michelangelo's painting. I guess that explains it...

And yet, Michelangelo was a homosexual and, of course, a Catholic. Go figure.

Posted by: George Cauldron | May 30, 2006 8:58 PM

"This game immerses children..."

I like how it keeps refering to children - is the author of this review unaware that the majority of gamers are older than 18? Yes, many 13-year-olds will play such games - but they neither make up the majority of the players, nor are they accurately refered to as "children". I don't know about anyone else, but when I see the word "children" I think "7-year-old" not "15-year-old". Misleading statements in the review, but I doubt intentionally misleading.

by the way, the review page also noted that the game is not yet rated. I'd presume that this would be receiving an "M" rating...

Posted by: Millimeter Wave | May 30, 2006 9:29 PM

Who cares what counts as "children"? Isn't there a more important distinction to be made here---are we really talking about tidy whities?

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001992.html

Posted by: Paul W. | May 30, 2006 10:48 PM

I went tidy, since Adam's forbidden fruit of the looms didn't look terribly tight to me.

I wonder if they put them in an effort to lower the rating, or if they felt the Sistine Chapel wasn't appropriate. Probably both, mostly the latter.

Posted by: Bronze Dog | May 30, 2006 11:07 PM

Dead link now. I guess they got wise, eh?

I saw the article for a few scary moments and then I hit back. I tried to show it to others, and that's when I found out it wasn't there.

Posted by: Bachalon | May 30, 2006 11:15 PM

But in principle the Rapture would be a fantastic setting for, say, a System Shock style RPG.

I actually started writing one of these, years ago, when I was in high school. (Old-school pencil-and-paper.) Then I realized I'd have to actually read the book of Revolations to pull it off, and hunt down a couple of apocrypha as well. Still considering it, once I get some time.

I've run a couple RPGs in a setting based on the Christian rapture (still haven't gotten 'round to doing all my research), and boy, was that fun! The primary servent of the Christian god was Tim, the Destroyer of Worlds. Faithful servent of the smiting god until he realized he could get more power by taking the throne, then he turned on Yaweh and stormed the gates of heaven. With tanks. It was great. Great.

Of course, the beauty of an old-school pencil-and-paper game is that you can work for whoever you want. Myself, I've always thought the Antichrist offered a pretty good deal. You have to decide to worship him, but then he'll take care of you, in this world. You know, useful social programs, peace on earth, nuclear disarmament, all that good stuff. Big problem if you're a monotheist, but if you're a polytheist, sure, fine, you can be god too, Mr. Antichrist.

Posted by: lytefoot | May 31, 2006 12:11 AM

They are hoping for an "E" rating, or at worst a "T" and mostly because it doesn't have any of the sexual titillation that we find in other objectionable games.

Half-life 2 and the first Ghost Recon had no references to sex, and yet got M ratings.

Posted by: Greco | May 31, 2006 12:22 AM

Hello, PZ: I've been reading you for several weeks now and though a lot of your biology posts go right over my head, I wanted you to know I enjoy reading, and trying to understand. I find you a good resource for instruction in critical thinking, and an excellent source for science news. I'm grateful you take the time to put your words down for all of us to read.

I haven't made any comments before, but this awful game caught my attention so thoroughly that I had to reply. I don't consider myself religious, though I was raised that way, and I am really gunning to find out what my local church will have to say about it. I find the concept of this game to be disgusting; I would never have known it existed if you hadn't brought it to my attention. I almost can't wait for it to be released, owing to a sort of horrified fascination. How can they possibly hope for such light ratings from the ESRB?!

As a small upshot, I was reminded of this amusing image, from Something Awful: Reservoir Gods.

Posted by: ZorkFox | May 31, 2006 3:28 AM

I'd have thought that belief in the Rapture in itself would be more considerably more likely to make people go postal than playing a game based on it.

Posted by: Ginger Yellow | May 31, 2006 8:06 AM

It seems appropriate at this point to link to the archive at slacktivist of his Left Behind posts.

To summarize a point he makes again and again by citing ample evidence, the books are bad when looked at as literature or stories, and manage to be even worse when looked at as theology. However, none of that dents the sales any, just as sales of the Bible aren't hurt by the long-winded "begat" sections or lack of overall narrative structure. I suspect we'll see a similar, albeit muted, effect with the game: it doesn't matter if the game is total crud, it will sell like hotcakes.

Of course, one could always hope that this game will awaken the general populace to the truly scary side of the fundies, but somehow I'm pessimistic about that.

Posted by: Daniel Martin | May 31, 2006 8:59 AM

But in principle the Rapture would be a fantastic setting for, say, a System Shock style RPG.

I actually started writing one of these, years ago, when I was in high school. (Old-school pencil-and-paper.) Then I realized I'd have to actually read the book of Revolations to pull it off, and hunt down a couple of apocrypha as well. Still considering it, once I get some time.

I've run a couple RPGs in a setting based on the Christian rapture (still haven't gotten 'round to doing all my research), and boy, was that fun!

Seriously dude, read Revelation. Then marvel at the fact that it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever (like, much, much less sense than all the other nonesense in the Bible) and bears no resemblance to anything you've ever heard about the Rapture. That shit is just completely made up (not that Revelation isn't, but at least somebody regards it as canonical). In fact, if you regard Revelation as canonical, you're pretty much obliged to regard the Rapture as heresy. They just don't line up at all.

Posted by: gregorach | May 31, 2006 9:30 AM

Can you imagine if they took the same game and ported it so atheist (gasp) were killing fundies who refused to renounce God?

Shit, they'd be burning down your door with torches and pitchforks. Literally.

And that's the difference between us and them. You can't really complain about this while letting GTA slide. Yeah it's creepier because they actually believe this is going to happen, and soon, so it's basically premature wish fulfilment for them, but the principle is the same. By all means point out the hypocrisy (for once Jack Thompson comes out looking OK).

I suspect we'll see a similar, albeit muted, effect with the game: it doesn't matter if the game is total crud, it will sell like hotcakes.

I'd be surprised. In general I agree with your premise, but remember that fundies are deeply suspicious of video games - have you read any Jack Chick? - and for that matter any modern entertainment medium.

Posted by: Ginger Yellow | May 31, 2006 10:44 AM

George, this is hardly an original observation but it does seem that fundies know (and follow) the words of Paul more than the words of Jesus.

Posted by: Ginger Yellow | May 31, 2006 11:39 AM