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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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The idea that space and time may form a closed surface without boundary also has profound implications for the role of God in the affairs of the universe. With the success of scientific theories in describing events, most people have come to believe that God allows the universe to evolve according to a set of laws and does not intervene in the universe to break these laws. However, the laws do not tell us what the universe should have looked like when it started — it would still be up to God to wind up the clockwork and choose how to start it off. So long as the universe had a beginning, we could suppose it had a creator. But if the universe is really completely self-contained, having no boundary or edge, it would have neither beginning nor end: it would simply be. What place, then, for a creator?

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« Pesky data! | Main | Not quite ready for prime time »

The search is over

Category: Creationism • Humor
Posted on: July 1, 2006 10:58 AM, by PZ Myers

The Intelligent Designer has been found, and his name is Phineas J. Schwartzfeld.

Phineas Schwartzfeld, who wears a mask and a garish purple and green costume emblazoned with the letters "I" and "D", claims to be immortal and that he invented life, the universe, and everything else many thousands of years ago. He is currently wanted on several outstanding warrants for illegal firearm possession, littering, and substandard product assembly on platypuses, armadillos and New Hampshire's Old Man of the Mountain (a large geological sculpture which collapsed in 2003 due to inherent structural defects).

Well, I guess I'm done now then.

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Comments

I hope this finally convinces you to abandon your bizarre cephalopod deification to worship the one true God, the Intelligent Designer. You must admit that a hominid deity that wears green and purple tights makes infinitely more sense. You are a man of science, after all.

Posted by: John | July 1, 2006 11:11 AM

Finally, someone to blame. Let's grab some gasoline, shotguns and good stout rope and find this feller.

Posted by: CaptainMike | July 1, 2006 11:34 AM

Geologists had said that the Old Man crumbled after a couple bad winters, but I refused to believe Mother Nature would be so cruel. Glad to know the real culprit has been found.

Posted by: ericnh | July 1, 2006 11:44 AM

CaptainMike: It won't do any good to go after him. He's immortal. And it would be blasphemous to test the Creator anyway.

But at least if he does prove flammable, believers will find some way to salvage his claims.

Posted by: fontor | July 1, 2006 12:08 PM

Someone wearing a green and purple dress can't be a very intelligent designer. But I'm glad the Discovery Institute finally discovered *something*. Until they did they seemed as such frauds.

Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson | July 1, 2006 12:27 PM

But who designed the Designer's hideous costume?

Posted by: Kristine | July 1, 2006 1:34 PM

fontor: I didn't say we should kill him. Let's just hurt him a whole bunch.

Posted by: CaptainMike | July 1, 2006 6:54 PM

Kristine: you know you're going to Hell just for asking that, right?

CaptainMike: then it'll be plenary indulgence time for everyone!

Posted by: Dan | July 1, 2006 8:17 PM

Let's make him read Dembski's books, that should be punishment enough.

Posted by: quork | July 2, 2006 11:38 AM

#10

Wasn't that on the state's quarter. Ha, ha. They only got to design one quarter, and they had to choose the one object in their state that would be destroyed even before all fifty states were made.

Posted by: dbpitt | July 2, 2006 7:42 PM