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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Now the religious right is joining the war against children, saying Halloween is a satanic plot. A Costa Mesa Christian group, Citizens for Excellence in Education, says the witch's broomstick is a phallic symbol of pagan worship. Yet another reason not to clean the house. The group says a 'spiritual battle' is raging on this night as covens of witches and other pagan religions call forth their demon spirits.' Even kids know demons are make-believe. It's unreal adults you have to worry about.

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« Is incompetence an act of God? | Main | Ricky Gervais explains Genesis »

Signs of the coming Cephalopocalypse

Category: Weirdness
Posted on: August 11, 2006 2:11 PM, by PZ Myers

This could be a new feature here, rather like RaptureReady's Rapture Index. I'm collecting omens and portents of the coming of our imminent doom at the hands suckers of the Tentacled Great Old Ones. It's a race: will the cephalopods beat Jesus? A distinct edge goes to the squiddies—at least they're real.

menacing_squid.jpg

As mentioned earlier, cephalopods are turning up in our nation's rivers and highways.

cthulhu.jpg

Martin Rundkvist reports that the Swedish Research Council's new outreach magazine is called…Tentakel.

cephalomoon.jpg

Majikthise reveals that the cephalopods have conquered the Moon. (Oh, and here's a much prettier carving).


Our current Cephalopocalypse Alert Level: 6.7, Glass. Marine molluscs are taking advantage of modern science, beware of strange people in lab coats that have too many arms.

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Comments

#1

I'm not too concerned about cephalopod takeover, until they appear armed to the beak. That is a lot of arms...

Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson | August 11, 2006 2:25 PM

#2

Plushie Cthulhu approves. You will be eaten last. ;)

Posted by: G Barnett | August 11, 2006 2:39 PM

#3

Over the past few weeks, I've been seeing this nonsesne about the coming apocalypse presented as "news" on TV. Finally the other day I got completely fed up and decided to channel my anger, so I set up a timer that counts the time since Hezbollah lobbed the first katyusha rocket into Israel. I will keep the page up indefinetely to serve as a permenant reminder to Christians that EVERY time they crow about the apocalypse, they're ALWAYS wrong.


ALWAYS!

Posted by: Derek Rodgers | August 11, 2006 2:43 PM

#4

You would feel more serene if you had been touched by his noodly appendage.

Posted by: griftdrift | August 11, 2006 2:47 PM

#5

Our current Cephalopocalypse Alert Level: 6.7, Glass

Oh, can someone pleeeeease make a Cephalopocalypse alert level banner???

Posted by: tikistitch | August 11, 2006 4:09 PM

#6

Cthulhu fhtagn!

I think (and I'm sure others have arrived at the same conclusion) that Cthulhu is an early, sea-food version of the One True God, the FSM. I mean, Lovecraft always lived near the New England coast, it's natural that he have thought of cephalopods instead of pasta.

Lovecraft should be regarded as the Abraham of FSMism.

Posted by: Martín Pereyra | August 11, 2006 5:26 PM

#7

Or maybe that's just Shiva in a lab coat? That wouldn't be good either...

Posted by: Mooser | August 11, 2006 5:58 PM

#8

I mean, even avatars need to pay the bills in between millenia.

Posted by: Mooser | August 11, 2006 6:00 PM

#9
will the cephalopods beat Jesus?
I should hope so. The question is, what will they beat him with?

Posted by: quork | August 11, 2006 6:51 PM

#10
Cthulhu fhtagn!
Gesundheit.

Posted by: quork | August 11, 2006 6:53 PM

#11

But what, exactly, constitutes "too many" when it comes to appendages? I mean, eight is obviously fine, and even ten is good. Or is it odd numbers that are bad?

Posted by: Space Parasite | August 11, 2006 6:55 PM

#12

Hey, P.Z., you might like this book solely for its cover
(L Neil Smith isn't to my taste...)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671319825/sr=8-12/qid=1155336868/ref=sr_1_12/103-5140691-4811029?ie=UTF8

Posted by: Paul | August 11, 2006 6:55 PM

#13

"Cephalopocalypse" sounds so depressing. Can't we have a cephalopalooza instead?

Posted by: Keith Douglas | August 11, 2006 7:03 PM

#14

Apocalypse or no, you gotta admit that "Tentakel" would be a GREAT name for a death-metal band

Posted by: TC | August 11, 2006 11:36 PM

#16

I have read your blasphemous website and I predict that you will rot in heck.

Posted by: The New York Crank (Etoain Shrdlu) | August 12, 2006 5:40 PM

#17

Those "netsuke" offered for sale these days are pale imitations of the real thing. My grandfather was a collector, and I inherited some of them. One, dated about 1830-1850, depicts a fishwife attempting to wrap a large live octopus; much more subtle than the one linked above, but if you turn it over, similar in theme.

Posted by: Pieter B | August 13, 2006 2:36 AM

#18

The celaphopod worshippers are in control in one city where their symbol is even on the manhole covers! Beware. Go to
http://photowebs.blogspot.com/2006/08/manhole-cover-art.html#comments

Posted by: Julie | August 13, 2006 11:45 AM

#19

Ho, boy, I really blew that one. Cephalopods, I apologize! Julie

Posted by: Julie | August 13, 2006 11:47 AM

#20

some have splashed sheep blood on their homes to keep Death Angels away, but you won't be safe unless you have these. several. often. everywhere.


Posted by: ekzept | August 24, 2006 10:41 PM

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