That's all I want to know. Thomas Kinkade's house is for sale, and at $359,000 for a smallish 3 bedroom home, it darn well better glow. Glow like a muthafricken' fairy castle.
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More articles by PZ Myers can be found on Freethoughtblogs at the new Pharyngula!
Does it glow?
Category: Weirdness
Posted on: September 6, 2006 7:29 AM, by PZ Myers
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Comments
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | September 6, 2006 7:35 AM
As long as he makes sure there are none of his paintings left in the house.
Posted by: SteveF | September 6, 2006 7:48 AM
I was on a cruise ship recently. They were auctioning of some of his paintings (prints I presume) - its only when you get up close that you realise how truly crap they are.
Posted by: decrepitoldfool | September 6, 2006 7:57 AM
One of the most surreal things I've seen was the Kinkade gallery in the Amish community of Arthur, Illinois. Surrounded by horse-drawn carriages and elegant farms is a high-tech, track-lighted, computerized, big-city-designer'd gallery full of crappy "paintings". There was a stern-looking Amish woman running the thing. They were doing brisk tourist business. And probably also a lot of nonpaying traffic like me and MrsDoF who stopped in to wonder, "WTF?"
Posted by: Kevin Bryant | September 6, 2006 8:42 AM
I'd love to see it glowing with allegations of gay orgies and heavy methamphetamine usage!
Posted by: Jason Kuznicki | September 6, 2006 9:50 AM
I just hope he didn't "mark his territory," as he is in the habit of doing. And if I were the new owner, I'd have the place professionally cleaned.
Posted by: Buffalo Gal | September 6, 2006 10:10 AM
Only $359K for a three-bedroom house? You are spoiled out there in Minnesota.
Posted by: ceresina | September 6, 2006 10:46 AM
I second Buffalo Gal. *Way* spoiled. $359K is a positive deal.
Posted by: Ritchie Annand | September 6, 2006 10:49 AM
If you don't mind a small amount of offense, and boggling at how much free time people have, Kinkade has been the subject of some pretty amazing photoshops over at Something Awful:
Paintings of Light Part 1
Paintings of Light Part 2
Paintings of Light II (the sequel)
I have no idea how long it took the folks who photoshopped police cars and a helicopter in Kinkadian style into a picture, or turn an idyllic colorful house into a giant Transformer, but they've made me so happy. :)
Posted by: idahogie | September 6, 2006 11:13 AM
Buffalo Gal & ceresina - be careful now. The house might seem like a bargain to you, but the contract probably requires you to buy two condemned properties and a toxic waste pit that he hasn't been able to sell elsewhere.
Posted by: George Cauldron
|
September 6, 2006 11:59 AM
Only $359K for a three-bedroom house? You are spoiled out there in Minnesota.
Indeedy. Where I live, that house could go for anywhere from $700K-$900K.
And glowing would cost you extra. Believe me.
Posted by: ArtK | September 6, 2006 1:36 PM
Median sales price for homes in Placerville is about $412K. Without comps it's hard to tell if this one is reasonable or not.
On a recent family vacation, my SO and I were joking about having seen the Kinkade "Archives" in Monterey. My boys were asking about the art and we tried to describe how bad it is. One of the stops on the trip was in Placerville (not because of the Kinkade connection) and, as we were walking on the main street we passed the gallery. I pointed to some of the pictures and the boys just said "Oh, I see!"
I fail to understand how he can be as prolific as he is. Along with being bad, the paintings are extremely detailed, which equates to taking a long time. He must have a staff that "helps" him.
Despite Kinkade, it's a pleasant town, with some great history (known as "Hangtown" during the California Gold Rush.) I'm not surprised at what the home prices are. This is, after all, Calfornia.
Posted by: Steverino | September 6, 2006 1:50 PM
Kinkade is a hack. His "motel" art is shit and what's really funny is he doesn't paint most of it! He has a team of less-talented hacks who do the majority of the painting and then then he puts finishing touches on the crap, signs it and sells them to would be motel owners.
He is prolific becuase as long as there are "Mary on the half shell", NASCAR hats and pink flamingos being sold...his motel art will have a home.
Posted by: George Cauldron
|
September 6, 2006 2:01 PM
Sacramento, California is booming and Placerville is now considered a bedroom community of Sacramento. All else follows.
Posted by: Jim in Chicago | September 6, 2006 2:28 PM
Is exorcism included in the price?
Kinkade is to art as Intelligent Design is to Science.
Posted by: Zeno | September 6, 2006 4:31 PM
A couple of years ago I drove up to Roseville (north of Sacramento) for lunch with a friend. He needed to drop off some page proofs (he's a technical writer) with one of his clients before we went off to a restaurant, so we swung by the client's home. Suddenly we weren't in Kansas (I mean, California) anymore. We were in Kinkade Bizarro-land. The homes in the development were all gingerbread and marzipan (I mean that figuratively because we didn't break off any corners for a taste test). I don't know if it was an official Kinkade-sponsored development (most of those plans appear to have failed as Kinkade's empire shrinks), but it was kitschy enough to be one. Any diabetics who go near one of those places should keep some insulin handy, just in case.
I hear, by the way, that some bargains are to be had in that development. I believe the purchase price includes a neighborhood security patrol for protection against home invasions by ragamuffins like Hansel and Gretel.
P.S.: My Mom thinks Kinkade paintings are "precious", which clinches it as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by: SkookumPlanet | September 6, 2006 4:40 PM
Steverino, ArtK, SteveF
It's worse than you think. If you're referencing Kincade's gallery paintings, then no one paints them. A machine does.
I posted a comment explaining the entire rise and fall of Kincade's possibly brilliant business on a previous PZ post about Kincade. My impression is few know the details. The galleries are franchise operations and, something I failed to mention there, at the peak there were over 600 nationally.
Further down Webly shares a bit about a visit to Kincade's factory.
Zeno, yes there is a Kincade sub-division. It's mentioned in the link above, but I thought it was in in the Bay Area.
Posted by: Squeaky | September 6, 2006 5:52 PM
$359,000 for a 3 BR--a little above average, but about what you would pay if you lived in Bellingham, WA (and it would be worth every penny in order to live in Bellingham, WA). Location, location, location...
Posted by: JohnnieCanuck | September 6, 2006 7:52 PM
Bellingham: Easy access to Vancouver, often recognised as the best place in the world to live, and without Vancouver's housing prices.
Median detached homes are well north of U$500,000
Posted by: Carlie | September 6, 2006 9:43 PM
Upstate New York, and most of the Midwest: 3 bedroom home will go for between 80 and 150k, depending on the exact location and how nice the property is. I have a 3-br that I got for 90 that could probably stand about 20k of work on windows and extra insulation. My mind boggles at such high prices.
Posted by: Alan Kellogg | September 7, 2006 8:54 AM
Three parts location, plus seven parts rampant speculation. Out here housing prices are going down, and it's starting to hurt people.