…and this is a 
It's the only brand a true pirate would use
Category: Pirates • Weirdness
Posted on: September 19, 2006 6:00 AM, by PZ Myers
Arrrrr. Let us begin a rude day with a rude picture.
I do protest, though, that Cap'n Blackbeard looked nothin' like that (he had two hands and a snaky tangle of a beard), and there is a great missed opportunity here. Blackbeard knotted lit matchcords in his hair and beard so they'd glow and hiss and smoke in battle—why not render the brute with the product tied into his flowin' locks?
(Alas, Pharyngula does not yet have a pirate mode restored, so don't be expectin' an excess of piratical nonsense today.)
(Some of you will be greatly relieved.)
Comments
Legend has it that it took 22 cutlass wounds and 5 bullets to kill Edward Teach, and that, when they threw his headless body into the sea, it swam round the ship three times before sinking. According to the documentary shown on the BBC recently, anyway. I wonder if they timed the showing of it specifically for Talk Like A Pirate day? If you haven't seen it yet, and you're waiting with bated breath for it to be shown over there... it's OK, but some of the acting leaves a lot to be desired. Lots of fake Cornish/Bristol/vaguely rustic accents.
Posted by: Graham Douglas | September 19, 2006 7:11 AM
Man, I missed it! I can't keep my days straight for this kind of thing, especially being 13 hours ahead of the Midwest. I wonder if my students in the Japanese middle school I work in would be interested in that video you had below. I smell a supplemental lesson coming up!
Posted by: Jeremy | September 19, 2006 7:38 AM
I got yer missed opportunity, ya scurvy dog. There's plenty o'female pirates churning the waters, as would require a staunch fer the bloody tide.
Posted by: Kaethe | September 19, 2006 8:10 AM
Here's my Tough Tampon advert.
Posted by: Mike Nilsen | September 19, 2006 8:41 AM
Sorry, I pooched that link above. Even a 'preview' function cannot prevent my evil screwups! Mwa-ha-ha-haaaa.
Posted by: Mike Nilsen | September 19, 2006 8:44 AM
Legend has it that it took 22 cutlass wounds and 5 bullets to kill Edward Teach, and that, when they threw his headless body into the sea, it swam round the ship three times before sinking.
Yes, and his bodyless head saw the light and was born again, just like Steve Irwin did. But you won't find that in the history books, will you???
Posted by: xebecs | September 19, 2006 10:09 AM
ARRRRR! Even the Weather Channel be talkin like Pirates this day!
Posted by: Robster | September 19, 2006 10:18 AM
That ad, uspecially with the hook, is not suitable for children. In fact it should be
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Arrrrr- rated.
Posted by: aiabx | September 19, 2006 10:43 AM
In keeping with pirate themes, must we also drink our rum with gunpowder as did Blackbeard?
Posted by: sam | September 19, 2006 11:39 AM
ARRRRR! Even the Weather Channel be talkin like Pirates this day!
Surely ye be meanin' the Weath-ARRRR Channel?!
Posted by: Kansas Anarchist | September 19, 2006 2:12 PM
kaethe beat me too it, but here anyway is another site about women pirates.
http://members.tripod.com/cathreese/DefiantWomen/pirates/
Posted by: bernarda | September 19, 2006 3:12 PM
Tim Powers' delightful _On Stranger Tides_ has it that Blackbeard was a servant of the loa Baron Samedi, who is lord of the slow flame, among other things. Hence Blackbeard could not be killed as long as he had the matchcord burning in his hair.
Posted by: JakeB | September 19, 2006 4:08 PM
NPR's "All Things Considered" is also having a Talk Like a Pirate Day segment.
Posted by: Kansas Anarchist | September 19, 2006 4:45 PM
I was *so* going to ignore the pirate stuff today but...
http://www.piratequiz.com/
Posted by: Mena aka Calico Anne Kidd | September 19, 2006 8:15 PM
You do remember that tampons make the best Molotov cocktail fuses, right?
Right?
Um, well, you ARRRRRR a bit young, maybe. Matey.
Posted by: Ron Sullivan | September 19, 2006 9:07 PM
What's a pirate's favorite book?
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Arrrr Bodies, Arrr Selves.
Posted by: alastair | September 19, 2006 10:23 PM
Where do pirates come from?
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Arrrrrrrkansas.
Posted by: wildlifer | September 20, 2006 7:08 AM
*GRRRROOOOAAAANNNN*
Or, more properly... ARRRRRRRRgh.
Posted by: Arrrrrchangel Beth | September 24, 2006 8:13 PM