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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Never say, and never take seriously anyone who says, "I cannot believe that so-and-so could have evolved by gradual selection." I have dubbed this kind of fallacy "the Argument from Personal Incrudulity." Time and again, it has proven the prelude to an intellectual banana-skin experience.
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Category: Weirdness
Posted on: October 19, 2006 5:50 AM, by PZ Myers
I've just been informed by Karl Mogel that we're all doomed. A creature of immense size has been spotted on Google maps—it's an insect longer than a football field, and it is devastating Germay.
Despite all the discussion, no one is talking about the important issue: how to get rid of it. From my knowledge of giant monsters, I can say one thing: don't nuke it. It will only make it stronger.
What we really need to do is to rouse a giant lizard from the Sea of Japan and lure him to Europe.
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Comments
Posted by: Dave Hone | October 19, 2006 6:36 AM
Or perhaps the giant 5-armed octopus from "It came from beneath the sea"? That turned up in the US, so that's much nearer to me in Germany than Japan.Should be easier to lure it over......
Posted by: Cathy in Seattle | October 19, 2006 6:46 AM
I think what we need is a large newspaper, say, roughly the size of a football field, into which we've put several tons of lettuce inside, roll it up all loosely, and set it behind some trees or forest or something.
If left overnight, we most likely will find the giant beast in the morning, snuggled up inside his new home. At that point we can simply shake it into a city water tower that's had gallons of Dr. Bronner's dumped into it (to break the surface tension), and there it will quickly drown.
Posted by: Cathy in Seattle | October 19, 2006 6:47 AM
Wait - Did anyone think to call Mothra, or Godzilla?
Posted by: deanbcurtis | October 19, 2006 7:23 AM
What we've seen speaks for itself. Germany has been taken over, "conquered", if you will, by a giant race of Earwigs. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Germans, or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them, the Earwigs will soon be here.
Posted by: gravitybear | October 19, 2006 8:20 AM
I, for one, welcome our new earwig overlords.
Posted by: quork | October 19, 2006 8:26 AM
This monster is in Germany - did you mean an American football field, or a soccer field?Should we really get that excited about what happens to 'Old Europe'?
Posted by: SN | October 19, 2006 8:44 AM
Germay? One seventh of the country has apparently been devastated already...
Posted by: Johan | October 19, 2006 8:51 AM
The Germans are f*cked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: lo | October 19, 2006 8:52 AM
What we need to do is show the world that this is what the the Flood was back in the days. It is a sign of god`s scorn towards all those non-believers and infidel scum in this world.
Oh and since it is over germany, it may just as equally serve as some ominous sign of a hitler ressurection or whatever view favorable to each cult respectively.
I mean just look at the scale in the picture, this creature is obviously humongous and it also disproves evolution since no creature could suddenly become that big based merely on evolutionary principles.
God put it there. period!
Posted by: quork | October 19, 2006 9:06 AM
Stingray leaps into boat, stabs man in chest
This did not happen in Germany.
Posted by: guthrie | October 19, 2006 9:29 AM
Well, I'm sure Nessie or one of those scandinavian lake monsters will eat it.
Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson | October 19, 2006 9:32 AM
Evidently Google Maps needs more debugging.
Posted by: DouglasG | October 19, 2006 9:38 AM
There is a large selection of monsters to choose from on Monster Island (actually a penninsula). I suggest Spiga (Spider) or one of the Kamacuras (Praying Mantis).
Posted by: Bronze Dog | October 19, 2006 10:02 AM
So, does this mean that square-cubed law thing is bunk?
Posted by: Arakasi | October 19, 2006 10:06 AM
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords
(hey, someone had to say it)
Posted by: Arakasi | October 19, 2006 10:08 AM
And if I hadn't been rushing through this, I would have noticed that someone DID say it
(slinks off into well deserved obscurity)
Posted by: ajay | October 19, 2006 10:22 AM
Germay? One seventh of the country has apparently been devastated already...
I think what he's trying to say is that the N is nigh.
Posted by: Apikoros | October 19, 2006 10:39 AM
What I'm wondering is, why didn't it happen in Australia? Hey, you Stingrays, it was the Ozzies who tried to avenge Steve Irwin! Leave America out of your gang war!
Posted by: Umilik | October 19, 2006 11:02 AM
Since this thing was apparently spotted near my hometown I alerted my family who was blissfully ignorant of the pending doom. But I am sure that the Bavarian homeland security boys have donned their finest lederhosen and are already in hot pursuit.
But seriosuly, why can't we get some crawfish that size rather than having to put up with those itty bitty little tails.
Posted by: kyle | October 19, 2006 11:28 AM
They already invented giant crawfish. They were brought here by teenage aliens (make sure to look at the second screenshot).
Posted by: Warren | October 19, 2006 11:39 AM
See? This is what happens when you don't join the Coalition of the Willing!
Posted by: Greco | October 19, 2006 11:50 AM
They are roughly the same length.
Posted by: Jim Lund | October 19, 2006 11:57 AM
And when the folks at Google Maps headquarters heard about it, they said, "That's not a bug, that's a feature!".
Posted by: Buffalo Gal | October 19, 2006 12:33 PM
Cathy in Seattle - LOL! Sounds like you have some experience with slugs.
Posted by: RCP | October 19, 2006 1:19 PM
And when the folks at Google Maps headquarters heard about it, they said, "That's not a bug, that's a feature!".
They're just testing Google Earth Invasion: Beta.
Posted by: andy | October 19, 2006 2:54 PM
Well, it's obvious that the anwer to your problem here has to be Gamera. And what could be cooler than a fifty meter tall flying turtle?
Posted by: Nix | October 19, 2006 5:19 PM
Of course this would never happen in India.
The Garuda Bird would eat it.
Posted by: Graham Douglas | October 19, 2006 6:01 PM
I say we take off and nuke it from space. It's the only way to be sure.
Posted by: JJR | October 19, 2006 7:02 PM
Hail Earwigs!
Posted by: John Peloquin | October 19, 2006 8:31 PM
That insect is not an earwig (too small and has no pincer-like cerci) and is pretty likely a thrips- a tiny bug most of you have never seen up close. FWIW, they have about 4 times as much DNA per cell as does Drosophila.
Posted by: Demma Down Under | October 19, 2006 10:52 PM
Perhaps we should mount gun turrets on some of Western Australia's flying cars and send them over for battle.
Posted by: Gentlewoman | October 19, 2006 11:03 PM
Dr. Bronner's works on monsters? It doesn't say that on the label. Perhaps there wasn't room, but one would think that such an important and potentially life-saving application would have been included.
Posted by: quork | October 20, 2006 10:32 AM
You've got a point there - I have no intention of getting too close to a giant insect.Posted by: Nymphalidae | October 20, 2006 11:55 AM
I just looked at the thrips in my collection, because I was curious. I think it is probably a thrips. Can't tell what family though, because the last abdominal segment is squished.
Posted by: JohnnieCanuck | October 20, 2006 9:44 PM
It's part of their newest high speed organic computer that will direct you from any starting point to a destination. It's called a thrips planner.
Thysanoptera, apparently.
Posted by: JohnnieCanuck | October 20, 2006 9:47 PM
Let me go out on a limb and be the first to welcome our new thrips overlords.