Pharyngula

Reason #7 to vote for Pharyngula

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Yeah, I’m thinking of the kittens. I’m thinking real hard.

I was going to say, “Because if you don’t vote for me, I’m feeding the kittens to the Kraken,” but then I realized that the kind of people who’d vote for me would probably want me to feed the kittens to the Kraken. And then I realized it didn’t matter how anyone voted, because I was going to feed the kittens to the Kraken anyway. So what the heck. Kittens. Kraken. Kraken Chow. That’s the way it is. As the kittens must accept their fate, so must Phil.

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Vote for Pharyngula (and remember, you can vote every day!). Because the kittens won’t be spared whether you do or don’t.

P.S. I’m sure Respectful Insolence would love to have the endorsement of a kitty-grinding blog for Best Medical/Health Issues Blog. I’m holding out for the promise of a Hitler Zombie/EneMan crossover, though.

Comments

  1. #1 beepbeepitsme
    December 11, 2006

    And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

  2. #2 idlemind
    December 11, 2006

    Looks like Orac has pulled ahead. This reveals the power of of a Pharynguloid endorsement.

  3. #3 John Wilkins
    December 11, 2006

    So, this would be Lovecraft’s Wager?

  4. #4 Azkyroth
    December 11, 2006

    beepbeepitsme: So what happens when God masturbates?

  5. #5 coturnix
    December 11, 2006

    God can fill the SpermCube in a single shot, and no refirigeration needed.

  6. #6 Dustin
    December 11, 2006

    Whoa now. Someone seems to have forgotten about the Cats of Ulthar.

  7. #7 Bronze Dog
    December 11, 2006

    Hmm… Not so sure on the ethics of kitten-eating… Then again, if anyone deserves to be eaten first to be spared from the horrors of the awakening Old Ones, it’s kittens.

  8. #8 A Teapot
    December 11, 2006

    Prof. Myers, have any of your students expressed concern that you’re grading their papers in an intense, kitten-killing rage?

  9. #9 Stanton
    December 12, 2006

    I’m afraid of what would happen if you were to feed my kitten to the Kraken…
    She’d devour him from the inside out.

  10. #10 Millimeter Wave
    December 12, 2006

    by the way, be sure to get voting in the “Best Blog” category.

    current leader is… Little Green Footballs.

    Yikes.

  11. #11 jimmiraybob
    December 12, 2006

    And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

    Oh jeez!

  12. #12 Ichthyic
    December 12, 2006

    And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

    then based on the fact that there are WAY too many domestic cats, I’d say that sperm cube might actually be a good motivational tool.

    get, er, whackin’, people!

  13. #13 Great White Wonder
    December 12, 2006

    Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

    And adds another ounce to Ed Brayton’s wattle.

    (wacks off furiously)

  14. #14 Dustin
    December 12, 2006

    I can already see the next DI press release: “Archdarwinist P.Z. Myers advocates feeding kittens to Kraken”.

    Actually, that’s not really fair of me. The DI wouldn’t spell his name right.

  15. #15 Ichthyic
    December 12, 2006

    …and I give 50/50 odds of them using “Archatheist” instead of “archdarwinist”, and somwhere nearby would be a prominent claim of how ID has nothing to do with religion.

  16. #16 Torbjörn Larsson
    December 12, 2006

    Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

    On the contrary, no pussy will get sore.

    (Ducks from swinging tentacles.)

  17. #17 Torbjörn Larsson
    December 12, 2006

    Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

    On the contrary, no pussy will get sore.

    (Ducks from swinging tentacles.)

  18. #18 paulh
    December 12, 2006

    But does the Kraken like eating kittens or does he just do it because he knows what’s good for him?

  19. #19 Chris Smyr
    December 12, 2006

    In the slump of my impending (doom) pchem final, I got a good laugh out of this one, and thought I’d share:

    Benny Hinn “Bodies”

  20. #20 Sean
    December 12, 2006

    Tactical error, PZ. I have made my first vote for Bad Astronomy.

    Kittens with tentacles I can support. Kitten eating, in the immortal words of the Tick, is just wrong.

  21. #21 Ian H Spedding FCD
    December 12, 2006

    …and so we see the true face of atheism revealed in all its hideous horror – rampant anti-kittenism. You do realise you are all doomed to be engulfed by the Great Furball for all eternity?

  22. #22 beepbeepitsme
    December 12, 2006

    RE: Azkyroth

    Kittens know that when god masturabtes it has the same effect as when the tooth fairy does.

  23. #23 seaducer
    December 12, 2006

    I found your blog through BA. I was totally going to vote for him, since I figured you would be very upset to learn that I just love salt and pepper calamari, especially the tentacle parts. mmm mmm goood.

    But then you went and posted about that dog Zeke, and I was torn. If you can post a little about one of the coolest animals in the sea, spineless yes, but no silly squid…
    Thaumoctopus mimicus, the mimic octopus, I might be persuaded to cast a vote for you, since the Leonids stunk this year….

  24. #24 George
    December 12, 2006

    Um… Bad Astronomer is catching up. It’s now 3,460 to 3,211.

  25. #25 umilik
    December 12, 2006

    … Kittens know that when god masturabtes it has the same effect as when the tooth fairy does.

    Oh no, not the tooth fairy !! And I touched all those coins. Yikes.

  26. #26 Kyra
    December 12, 2006

    And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

    This is another of those “they won’t be spared no matter what you do” things, so by all means keep at it.

    As for the ones about to be Kraken food, I’m sure they will pull a Jack Sparrow and show up alive and kicking sometime in May.

    (And if anyone screams at me for spoiling a major plot point, I will laugh my ass off at your stupidity. Because EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. So don’t tell me you are that stupid. Because it will just get you mocked.)

  27. #27 Kyra
    December 12, 2006

    So what happens when God masturbates?

    She’s in a much better mood afterwards.

  28. #28 beepbeepitsme
    December 12, 2006

    RE: umilik

    Send those coins to a scientist and have that DNA tested. I have a sneaking suspicion that Karl Rove has a nightjob as a transexual toothfairy and I am lookin’ for evidence.

  29. #29 CortxVortx
    December 13, 2006

    < < Send those coins to a scientist and have that DNA tested. >>

    Send them to Mr. Crocker: They may be genetically related to fairy god-parents.

    “I can’t even read my own mind! … Nope! Nothing!” — Cosmo

  30. #30 Ichthyic
    December 13, 2006

    And if anyone screams at me for spoiling a major plot point,/i>

    there was a plot to that movie?

    huh, I must have missed it.

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