Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
…and this is a pharyngula stage embryo.
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Category: Personal
Posted on: January 29, 2007 12:13 PM, by PZ Myers
So it's snowing, and my rather worn shoes got wet, and everywhere I walk I now hear this faint, hissy, squeaky noise.
Does it improve my image as a tough guy if I tell you that I'm imaging that I'm crushing baby mice between my toes as I walk? Discuss.
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Comments
Ewww. Given that my shoes do the same thing when wet, and I have actually crushed a mouse underfoot when walking through my house, I am now feeling quite queasy.
Posted by: Carlie | January 29, 2007 12:21 PM
I take that as a vote for "tough guy."
Posted by: PZ Myers | January 29, 2007 12:23 PM
I think shooting baby seals might be more effective.
Posted by: xenophobic | January 29, 2007 12:24 PM
I once killed a giant rat with a chopping knife in a fraternity kitchen.
I guess killing baby mice makes you more cruel, because like God you slaughter those who have no means of defense. But I'm not sure it makes you tough.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | January 29, 2007 12:25 PM
Xenophobe, you're not supposed to shoot the baby seals, you're supposed to club them. Hasn't Paul McCartney taught you anything?
Posted by: Garrett | January 29, 2007 12:34 PM
Nope, it's hopeless. Your attempt to project a tough guy image has been effectively subverted by Karl Mogel's comment that you remind him of Prof Steve Steve - can't get much more cute and cuddly than that.
Maybe you should see if you can arrange for an interview with John Kasich - that might get you worked up enough in person that everyone could see your Inner Tough Guy.
Posted by: Theo Bromine | January 29, 2007 12:42 PM
It's definitely not tough if you sound like you are wheezing while you walk. Or is it more a whistling mucus kind of sound.
Besides it's way tougher to be silent like a ninja.
Posted by: kyle | January 29, 2007 12:45 PM
Does not sound random to me, but rather designed, as a post. Would it be you are the Intelligent Designer? From this post and about the mice, I would say so!
Posted by: Laurent | January 29, 2007 1:00 PM
Are you channeling Kind Kong?
Posted by: Retired Catholic | January 29, 2007 1:03 PM
It'd only improve your tough guy image if I actually believed you.
Posted by: Adam Cuerden | January 29, 2007 1:10 PM
That image certainly wouldn't help you on Fox News.
Posted by: thaumaturge | January 29, 2007 1:28 PM
Why don't you tell people it is the sound of you crushing aborted fetuses, 'no bigger than your thumb' between your toes?
Posted by: llewelly | January 29, 2007 1:39 PM
Garrett, Clubs - what kinda hoser are you? Ya use a hakapik, eh.
Posted by: Richard Harris | January 29, 2007 1:47 PM
Cue Arthur Ewing and his Amazing Musical Mice:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OXfAPPckQU
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely | January 29, 2007 1:50 PM
With a video, you could have your own fetish site. Then you'd be rich, not tough, but that's OK too.
Posted by: Warren | January 29, 2007 1:57 PM
Master Tang: Oh, again with the squeaky shoes.
Chosen One: Well, I'm gonna count to three, and if I hear one more friggin' squeak, I'm gonna take his shoes, and shove em' up his...
Posted by: argystokes | January 29, 2007 2:33 PM
Beating baby bunnies to death with Bibles is pretty effective. Puppies with Torah scrolls. Dumping a truckload of L. Ron's Dyanetics (sp?) on a litter of kittens. Pulverizing baby chicks with a Quhran. Statue of Ganish? Go get 'em!
My oh my. I do go on.
Posted by: shoeguyster | January 29, 2007 3:21 PM
When I cut the mushrooms up just right, and when I have the pan just hot enough, and when I stir them at just the right speed, it sounds like a whole cage full of adult mice. In their death throes. Temporarily assuages my raging mysophobia.
Posted by: Jonathan Lubin | January 29, 2007 3:30 PM
Another evilutionist lie! Crushed baby mice actually make a 'squeek squeek' noise.
(count it as a vote against.)
Posted by: Quentin S. | January 29, 2007 3:32 PM
Xenophobe, you're not supposed to shoot the baby seals, you're supposed to club them. Hasn't Paul McCartney taught you anything?
Clubbing with seals is so passe. You obviously haven't seen this shirt.
Posted by: Jen | January 29, 2007 3:33 PM
If you were wearing gnarly engineer's boots instead of, "rather worn shoes," toughness would ooze from the blog.
Posted by: wmock | January 29, 2007 3:36 PM
Baby mice? How tough is that?
Just pretend you're wearing sneakers with bottoms make of IDiot's brains that you've harvested yourself, using nothing but your bare hands and a hardcover Bible.
Posted by: Inky | January 29, 2007 4:53 PM
I used to live in a co-op, not the kind with hippies, just a 10-bedroom apartment. We had a rat problem that was so bad at one point that we would hunt them with pellet guns and one person got one with a knife.
The great thing about all this is that we saved money on hamburger meat. **Budduddum Ching!**
Maybe if you ate them, it might do the trick.
Posted by: Inoculated Mind | January 29, 2007 6:06 PM
Tough guy? No. This only makes me think of Cliff from Cheers and the episode with the squeaky shoe club.
Posted by: angie | January 29, 2007 6:57 PM
Actually, if you want a really good squeak noise, try sauteeing some medium-sized mealworms in a little butter. (They can be mostly frozen first so they don't really feel anything.) It doesn't matter how much I tell myself that it's just steam venting from their exoskeletons, it sounds like dozens of tiny screams.
Posted by: Carlie | January 29, 2007 7:20 PM
not if you do it right. okay, i am extrapolating a bit from rats, as that's what i'm used to, but done quickly enough they make no noise at all, or maybe only a half second of a faint gurgle as they breathe their last through blood-filled lungs.
of course, i buy frozen now. it's just easier. thaw and serve.
Posted by: knobody | January 29, 2007 8:21 PM
Does it improve my image as a tough guy if I tell you that I'm imaging that I'm crushing baby mice between my toes as I walk? Discuss.
Perhaps if you pranced around in a flight suit with a padded crotch congratulating yourself for crushing baby mice?
Posted by: Phoenician in a time of Romans | January 29, 2007 9:12 PM
Does it improve my image as a tough guy if I tell you that I'm imaging that I'm crushing baby mice between my toes as I walk? Discuss.
No. Baby mice are incredibly easy to crush* and it adds not a thing to one's macho score to be able to crush them.
*Don't ask me how I know this.
Posted by: Dianne | January 29, 2007 9:47 PM
How about a big banner in the background saying,
MASHING ACCOMPLISHED
Would that help?
Posted by: PZ Myers | January 29, 2007 9:49 PM
[Throws dead squid at Myers for terrible pun]
Posted by: Phoenician in a time of Romans | January 29, 2007 10:35 PM
"Perhaps if you pranced around in a flight suit with a padded crotch congratulating yourself for crushing baby mice?"
Good shot, Phoenician!! LOL But, I know have that muy macho picture stuck in my brain. Time for the bleach bottle.
Posted by: bronco214 | January 30, 2007 1:44 AM
"now have". oops.
Posted by: bronco214 | January 30, 2007 1:46 AM
Under California law, it's third strike and they're crushed. First strike, you just delegate to the Farmer's wife to cut off their tails with a carving knife. Or the one that OJ used, if you can find it. Then you, the mice, OJ, and the Farmer's wife can search for the Real Killer. Yeah, right. OJ was found "not guilty" by a jury too dumb to be able to spell DNA. Whereas we all know the truth: the LAPD framed a guilty man. If your rather worn wet shoes fit, you must acquit. I say, walk a mile in his shoes. If you're wrong, you're still a mile away and, hey, you got those shoes for nothing.
Posted by: Jonathan Vos Post | January 30, 2007 2:36 AM
I've always thought of you as being very cute and cuddly, PZ.
Posted by: Markk | January 30, 2007 3:21 AM