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Christian Liberalism: The doctrine that there may be an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about baby seals but doesn't give a damn about my sex life.
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Category: Humor
Posted on: January 2, 2007 9:10 PM, by PZ Myers
Global warming. It's all our fault.
As the world becomes over run with sin more and more souls are sent to stoke the fires of Hell. As the Earth produces more heat our environment becomes more hostile. We must repent in order to stop our polar ice caps from melting.
At least the Muslims are to blame for the tsunamis.
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Comments
Posted by: afterthought | January 2, 2007 9:17 PM
That's a joke, yes?
Posted by: Sister Novena | January 2, 2007 9:24 PM
Shhh... you're giving Pat Robertson ideas.
Posted by: TW | January 2, 2007 9:54 PM
Nice. (I assume it is a joke!)
Posted by: Alon Levy | January 2, 2007 9:59 PM
What's wrong with giving Pat Robertson ideas? If he actually blames the atheists for global warming, it'll just make people hate him more.
Posted by: Corey Schlueter | January 2, 2007 10:18 PM
you're giving Pat Robertson ideas
He is crediting himself for predicting the spring floods in New England last year as his prediction the coastline would receive storms and possibly a tsunami. Now he is predicting "mass" killings in September 2007.
Posted by: DavidByron | January 2, 2007 10:24 PM
Good to see someone is still managing to keep ahead of the curve with satire.
Posted by: Millimeter Wave | January 2, 2007 10:45 PM
hmmm....
by the way, what's an "o-zone"? I presume that gets explained somewhere suitably also ;-)
Posted by: Keanus | January 2, 2007 10:46 PM
Can we require that all evangelical churches, especially the mega variety, be built on sand dunes along the ocean front? (I'd suggest the Carolina Outerbanks or Cape Cod and the Massachusetts Islands, but we'd get complaints from too many liberals who wouldn't want them as neighbors.) That way a few good noreasters and hurricanes might send them all to heaven, leaving the Earth a better place for the rest of us.
Posted by: Millimeter Wave | January 2, 2007 10:49 PM
Oh, and yes, the Pat Robertson thing. I saw that one earlier, and I couldn't help but think: what exactly does this guy have to say before his followers realize he's a kook?
They're what? Oh... never mind.
Posted by: Mnemosyne | January 2, 2007 11:29 PM
Personally, I preferred the whole George A. Romero theory that when Hell gets too full, all of the recently dead will come back to life and devour the living.
Hey, it makes just as much sense. Probably more.
Posted by: MJ Memphis | January 2, 2007 11:36 PM
An "O-Zone" is a Moldovan boy band, most famous for their song "Dragostea din Tei", better known in the US as "the Numa Numa song". I'm not sure what they have to do with global warming, but I can't say I'm really surprised that they are involved somehow.
Posted by: G. Tingey | January 3, 2007 3:48 AM
No, no, no NO
The "O-zone" is where all sorts of naughty O-type things happen...
Like "L' histoire d'O" ....
And other unchristian Oral activities .......
Posted by: Wadard | January 3, 2007 7:47 AM
If anyone still hasn't seen An Inconvenient Truth, it is now freely available from YouTube. :::[An Inconvenient Truth Conveniently on YouTube] although I recommend the cinema experience if it is still on in town.
Posted by: Kristine | January 3, 2007 10:16 AM
But...surely this will convince them of an old earth, at least? I mean, eternity--that's one hell of a radioactive half-life.
Posted by: Warren | January 3, 2007 10:27 AM
Osteopathy? Onanism? Orgasm?
My last name begins with O. Hmm. This explains a great deal, alla sudden-like.
Posted by: Barney | January 3, 2007 12:06 PM
'Fess up, PZ, you only found that because of the post on that blog titled "Tentacle Porn", didn't you? (Yes, it does contain nudity, so I'm not sure if I should give a direct link here).
Posted by: Shawn S. | January 4, 2007 12:58 AM
No no no... Global warming is completely because of the decline of Pirates.
See this published article: http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/
Posted by: Kyra | January 7, 2007 2:18 AM
"Muslim land mass attracts God's wrath?"
and here I didn't even know land masses were religious.
Posted by: Kyra | January 7, 2007 2:19 AM
"by the way, what's an 'o-zone'?"
It's this layer of atmosphere generally found between the n-zone and the p-zone.
Posted by: Scott Hatfield | January 7, 2007 2:39 AM
G. Tingey, Warren:
If memory serves, there was supposed to be a sequel (L'Histoire d'P'), wherein the handcuffs were exchanged for Depends undergarments. Which seems appropriate, given that (contra the illustration above), everyone knows that tsunamis are just a form of incontinental drift.
Speaking of handcuffs and diapers, any word on how Dr. Hovind's holding up?....SH