As of 7:07AM Pacific time on 9 March, that is. I expect everyone to write me a poem in celebration. To start you all off, Richard Dawkins has set an example.

Don’t give me that cross-eyed look. It is not unusual that I inspire poetry, I’ll have you know.


  1. #1 suffenus
    March 8, 2007

    I don’t know how to dress this up
    To be as good as Dawkins-

    Yikes! to dress it up at all
    I’d probably need eight stockins

    Happy birthday anyway
    PZ, up there in Morris

    I’ve got to go back to my space-
    Signed respectfully. Horace.

  2. #2 Greg Laden
    March 8, 2007

    What a coincidence. I was just writing a nice Limerick for PZ… (it’s on my site, and Dawkins too)

  3. #3 Tyler DiPietro
    March 8, 2007

    Happy Birthday, PZ! I know I’d be going crazy ninja if Richard Dawkins wrote a poem for me on my birthday.

  4. #4 Phil Plait
    March 8, 2007

    The master of sci blog Pharyngula,
    Said of his obsession quite singular,
    “Creationist asses
    Keep me from my classes
    And I must focus on things curricular!”

    P.S. Now I wonder how Richard Dawkins found out about this little soiree…?

  5. #5 Ric
    March 8, 2007

    Wow, Dawkins doggerel ain’t half bad.

    To the guy who brightens my morns
    Much better than browsing through porn
    He makes me spit coffee
    While I cheer on his moxy
    So I’ll celebrate the day he was born!

    Terrible. Simply terrible. 🙂

  6. #6 Carlie
    March 8, 2007

    Dawkins should keep his day job.

    Happy birthday!

  7. #7 Sean Foley
    March 9, 2007

    Two poems. First, a reworking of “The Story of Bonnie and Clyde”:

    You’ve read the works of Dennett & Dawkins
    And ScienceBlogs on the wires.
    If you’re still in need
    Of something to read
    Here’s the story of P.Z. Myers.

    Now P.Z. Myers is in the Atheist Gang.
    I’m sure you all have read
    How he rants and raves
    With discourse crazed
    And wishes the God-fearing dead.

    There’s lots of untruths to these write-ups;
    He’s not so vicious as some;
    But his rhetoric’s rough
    And he’s necessarily tough
    On the credulous, foolish, and dumb.

    Folks call him an uncivil firebrand;
    They say he is heartless and mean.
    But say what you will:
    His readers are thrilled
    For P.Z.’s prose is logical and clean.

    Creationists fool around,
    Try taking him down
    With claims of I.C. in the cell.
    They say of him,
    “He’s unduly dim
    And will doubtless end up in hell.”

    But their bulbs are dimly lighted;
    P.Z. lets reason and evidence guide.
    He tries to open up minds,
    Even those of the blind,
    But isn’t above being snide.

    His blog gets brighter and brighter,
    With posts to read and admire.
    So let e’vry woman and man
    Do all that they can
    For the 50th of P.Z. Myers.

    And second, with apologies to Hilaire Belloc:

    Of Dr. Myers, by the wingnuts ’tis said,
    “His sins are scarlet!” But his posts are read.

  8. #8 JohnTheStudent
    March 9, 2007

    Happy Birthday PZ. I think I speak for more than I know when I say that you have catalyzed a march toward rationality. PZ, Dawkins, Dennett, and Harris, are the pioneers, making rational and logical atheism acceptable to more people than you could ever know. I’m only 22, and from my limited experience, I think demographic trends are moving toward rationalistic humanism.

    P.S. I’m drunk, so it took me about 10 minutes to write this without typos. Please forgive incoherence if that be the case.

  9. #9 Interrobang
    March 9, 2007

    A Villainous Villanelle for Pharyngula Zed Myers:

    Pharyngula is widely read
    Its traffic comes from far and near
    To pick the brain in PZ’s head

    Like evil wraiths riz from the dead
    Creationists will laugh and jeer
    To pick the brain in PZ’s head

    Of science ne’er enough is said
    To quench most people’s primal fear
    To pick the brain in PZ’s head

    “Happy Birthday,” we all said
    For Myers’s fiftieth year —
    Pharyngula is widely read

    Trolls and seekers both have pled
    For science writing without peer
    To pick the brain in PZ’s head

    Dawkins ignited the thread
    Here within the blogosphere
    Pharyngula is widely read
    To pick the brain in PZ’s head

  10. #10 Torbjrn Larsson
    March 9, 2007

    A poem on demand? Oy. But,

    Pharyngula grows
    Adult desires and wants
    ‘s quid pro quo

    so I am glad to give something back. Happy days!

  11. #11 Observer
    March 9, 2007

    I’m always amused that everything sounds better with a British accent; I think Richard Dawkins could read “There was a boy from Nantucket…” and it would sound mellifluous.* Ah, well, I won’t fare as well…

    I have no poem but to say

    that S-words are those

    that lead the day –

    squids & sex & stories & science

    are some of the swords

    you use in defiance

    of other S-words bound for history –

    supernaturalism, spiritualism,

    and, of course, stupidity.

    We thank you for your words

    and all that they bring,

    because through words

    is the meaning of everything.

    Happy Half A Century! (Hopefully your Wish List is current – May brings flowers…)

    *No thesaurus, but I did check the spelling. (-;

  12. #12 Russell Blackford
    March 9, 2007

    I left you a poem on Richard Dawkins’ site. 🙂

  13. #13 David Marjanovi?
    March 9, 2007

    Comment 115 is the best!!!

    Five percent of a millennium? Hah. Contemplate paleontology: I can’t tell last week from last ice age. 🙂

  14. #14 David Marjanovi?
    March 9, 2007

    Comment 115 is the best!!!

    Five percent of a millennium? Hah. Contemplate paleontology: I can’t tell last week from last ice age. 🙂

  15. #15 PeteK
    March 9, 2007

    Happy birthday. The first half-century is the hardest! I wonder if PZ will write Dawkins one when he turns 75?

  16. #16 Tuomo Hmlinen
    March 9, 2007

    ;aPP>M,”_tHDaY p>*YYERs{
    ;aPP>M,”_tHDaY pZ*YYERs{
    ;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ*YYERs{
    ;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ*MYERs{
    ;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ MYERs{
    ;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
    ;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
    ;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
    ;aPP>MB”rthDaY pZ MYERs!
    ;apP>MB”rthDaY pZ MYERs!
    ;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYERs!
    ;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYERs!
    ;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYeRs!
    ;apPYMB”rthdaY pZ MYeRs!
    ;apPYMB”rthday pZ MYeRs!
    HapPYMB”rthday pZ MYeRs!
    HapPYMBIrthday pZ MYeRs!
    HapPYMBirthday pZ MYeRs!
    HapPYMBirthday PZ MYeRs!
    HapPY Birthday PZ MYeRs!
    HapPy Birthday PZ MYeRs!
    HapPy Birthday PZ MYeRs!
    HapPy birthday PZ MYeRs!
    Happy birthday PZ MYeRs!
    Happy birthday PZ MYers!
    Happy birthday PZ MYers!
    Happy birthday PZ Myers!

  17. #17 Bob O'H
    March 9, 2007

    Sorry, about being a bit late: I had to line my brain cells up for this…

    To the tune of The Londonderry Air (or The London Derrire):

    Cephalopod, the pirates, pirates are calling
    From Greg to Grrl and Dawkins on the side
    The squid are come and astronomers calling
    ‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide
    But come ye back when Skatje’s in the meadow
    Or when Larry‘s hushed and Wilkins so
    ‘Tis we’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow
    Pharyngula, Pharyngula, we love you so

    And, err, happy birthday, I suppose.


  18. #18 Kristine
    March 9, 2007

    “What the hell rhymes with Pharyngula?”

    Behe losing the bacterial thingula
    Dembski KOed in the boxing ringula
    Shimmies and comments that are totally zing-gulah,
    PZ having a B-Day that is positively singulah!

    Happy birthday, PZ! (A little late – sorry…)

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