…and this is a 
The Calamari Wrestler
Category: Cephalopods • Entertainment • Weirdness
Posted on: March 7, 2007 11:00 AM, by PZ Myers
A recent article on Deep Sea News mentions the Ritual of 365 Points—since this is such an important reference to cephalophiliacs, I thought I'd repost my summary of a classic movie that hinges on it as a plot point.
I have seen The Calamari Wrestler. It was…indescribable. I won't even try. The basic idea, though, is that it's about pro wrestling in Japan, with a dying wrestler who undergoes a magical transformation in Pakistan to keep him alive, which also allows him to become a super-star in the ring. He battles rivals to learn a heartwarming secret at the end.
I've put a few frames below the fold. Don't try to view them as a narrative; this is a surreal movie about wrestling invertebrates.
I learned many new things from this movie. I'll keep this in mind next time I wrestle an invertebrate.
I was wondering how a marine invertebrate was getting around so well in a wrestling ring.
There was a tragic moment. It turns out that if the squid has sex with a human and experiences true desire, it turns back into a human. (I think I saw this plotline on Buffy, once.) As you can see, he wants to turn back. Who can blame him?
Interestingly, his girlfriend was even more desperate to have him turn back. I'm afraid the movie was very vague on the bedroom details.
He is restored to his squidly form with the aid of some monks and the Ritual of 365 Points. Afterwards, his locker room smells very bad, but don't blame the squid.
The Calamari Wrestler has to fight an octopus.
And a crustacean, the Squilla.
Victory means promotional work and Japanese cheesecake.
All I've got to say is that if they make a sequel, they need to take me on as a consultant. The answer to the question is "no".
If anyone knows the details of the Ritual of 365 Points, please do send it on to me.
Comments
Awesome. I need to see this film.
Posted by: Ginger Yellow | March 7, 2007 11:30 AM
NETFLIX'D
Posted by: K. Signal Eingang | March 7, 2007 11:44 AM
*blink*
*blink*
/opens Netflix
Posted by: Martha | March 7, 2007 5:23 PM
Where can I get this movie?! Wow. Utterly, gobsmackingly, wow.
Posted by: Ithika | March 7, 2007 6:40 PM
This is your brain.
That is your brain on Japanese.
Not that it will stop me. I will see this movie. Then my wife will most likely beat me for making her watch a small portion before fleeing the room.
Posted by: Sean | March 7, 2007 7:25 PM
Japanese cheesecake. Tentacles. Wink-wink nudge-nudge saaaay no more!
Posted by: MartinDH | March 7, 2007 9:01 PM
If you live in Minnesota you can go to your local library and ask them to have Minneapolis to send it to them. You'll have to wait until I return it though.
Posted by: Avery | March 8, 2007 12:41 AM
MartinDH: Gah! No hentai, please!
Posted by: False Prophet | March 8, 2007 12:53 AM
There are bits on YouTube. I've got some here:
http://raincoaster.com/2006/08/08/the-calamari-wrestler/
Posted by: raincoaster | March 8, 2007 3:29 AM