Piffle on parade

Time is running an online poll to discover "the most influential people of the year" — I'd urge you all to vote for Dawkins, except that when you browse the list you discover it's a collection of pop stars, models, sports figures, and the sparse sprinkling of a few politicians and random others. It's a collection that will depress you with its triviality and banality.

Imagine that aliens visited our planet and asked for a meeting with the most influential people on earth, the people most representative of our values, and we sent along a delegation containing Perez Hilton, Kate Moss, Brad Pitt, and Dane Cook — I'd be embarrassed. I'd be so ashamed I'm not sure I'd be able to protest too much when they announced the planet was going to be demolished to make way for a new intergalactic expressway.

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At least Brad Pitt has some shreds of both conscience and consciousness of his privileged status.

Who is Dane Cook?

Any list of "most influential" people that doesn't start with Karl Rove, then veer into a five-paragraph discussion of why that's such a bad thing, is sadly lacking, IMHO.

I've been AT LEAST as influential as Paris Hilton, and definitely more so than Dane Cook, whoever that is! I demand a recount or something.

Thierry Henry is pretty high on the list, so I'm guessing it's not just Americans voting.

By Mimsy Borogrove (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Actually, I regret voting for anyone on this list before reading through it more carefully...

Each person has a "pro" and a "con" section. For example, Dawkins "con" section says:

"Dawkins sometimes seems religious about his atheism. (In any case, debates about deities rarely change minds.) Some critics also feel that he misapplies the framework of evolutionary theory to phenomena -- such as ideas and culture -- that don't entirely fit the mold. "

and Colbert's "con" section says this:

"His performance at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association dinner stirred controversy, raising concerns over the biased nature of his satire."

Also vote for Neil DeGrasse Tyson as well. As a Time 100, I'm surprised to see he made the list. However, he is one of the most well-rounded, intelligent, and humorous forces for the popularization of Science in our present time.

Wow. I just ran Dane Cook through Wikipedia and I STILL don't think I'm at all familiar with this guy! I'm actually surprised. I thought he'd be one of those cases where I go: "oh THAT'S his name!"

No such luck.

Anyhow, consider me for the write-in portion of the ballot.

It's clear to me that the people who submitted their votes to this poll had absolutely no understanding of the word 'influential'.

By somebody, erm,… (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

(In any case, debates about deities rarely change minds.)

Oddly enough, it was Dawkins' writings that put the nail in the god-coffin for at least two members of my household. (Me: "The Ancestor's Tale." My sweetie: "The God Delusion.") We might've already come to the conclusion that Sunday School God was nowhere to be found, but it was Dawkins (and, er, Pharyngula) that provided invaluable support in the leap to utter godlessness.

"I'd be so ashamed I'm not sure I'd be able to protest too much when they announced the planet was going to be demolished to make way for a new intergalactic expressway."

LOL. Amen!

They shoulda at least put one line in the trinity: Dennett, Dawkins & Harris.

Combined, they've been hugely influential over the last couple of years. We're even seeing the % of agnostics/atheists/humanists increasing in this country as of the last decade or so - not that that's entirely attributable to them, of course, but they do represent a trend.

Dane Cook is a comedian. A very loud and spastic comedian. One of his jokes deals with how he hopes an atheist he once met is reincarnated (in a sense) as a tree which is then cut down to make paper for a Bible.

The "pro" and "con" sections read like Wikipedia articles. "Some critics say" that Time Magazine, of all entities, should remove its collective head from its figurative excretory orifice and write a line of text worth reading.

I was about to make a cheap joke about Sanjaya--but he's on the list at number 12. Or am I hallucinating?

Actually, I like Sanjaya, though I never saw him perform and only followed news articles. People who don't understand why Sanjaya kept getting votes are the same people who didn't get "Hamster Dance" and Mahir's website back in the day. Sometimes you just have something that clicks with people even if it totally sucks on all critical grounds. It would be worth making a list of these kinds of phenomena, because the interesting part is that they're really spontaneous and no marketing survey can predict them.

Imagine that aliens visited our planet and asked for a meeting with the most influential people on earth, the people most representative of our values, and we sent along a delegation containing Perez Hilton, Kate Moss, Brad Pitt, and Dane Cook...

If that's not a movie yet, it will be soon. And it might just be funny, as long as Cook isn't in it.

So the two people with the greatest number of votes for Most Influential are the King of Thailand and a Korean pop singer ... both with more than a quarter of a million votes.

They've clearly been able to influence their fans into visiting the website and voting, so you might argue the poll is very accurate.

I thought Dane Cook was pretty funny in Waiting and Employee of the Month, but then he didn't have writing credits in either of those. The only comedy of his that I've seen was what Bronze Dog linked to (#10), and I didn't find any of that routine funny. Even the parts where he went into asides, which most comedians can manage to make funny even if the main joke isn't good, weren't very amusing.

BTW, I didn't mean that as an endorsement of Employee of the Month. It was all right, there were some pretty funny moments if you're a regular customer at Costco (or another warehouse membership store) and can recognize the situations. Waiting, on the other hand, was in fact fairly good overall. Cheap laughs, but good cheap laughs.

This reminds me of a really really stupid radio survey for the "top 100 most influential musicians of the last millennium" -- taken, of course, late in 1999. Many people voted for random classical composers because they had heard of them, which was reasonable, I suppose, and when the list was played back, it was surprising and pleasant to hear classical music on a pop radio station. However, number 2 on the list were the Beatles, and number 1 was Elvis. As far as influence goes, it is really hard to top Jean-Philippe Rameau, who essentially codified modern music theory; his work was instrumental in the waning of several competing tonalities. It would be an exaggeration to say that he invented the major and minor scales that we use today, but not a terribly big exaggeration. And yet, he gets upstaged by Elvis in the popular eye (or ear, as the case may be). I do not think that I need to go any further than that.

By Opisthokont (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

I am fairly certain that this realization- that the idiots rule- is just another brick in the wall of the insurmountable issues which we are harnessed with in our pursuit of knowledge.

It is our burden to humor the morons and labor to bring enlightenment to them despite their general immunity to that enlightenment.

...and we wonder how mad scientists are made.

By Will Von Wizzlepig (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Shouldn't that be a hyperspace bypass?

By Jane E. Valent… (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Why is Dawkins looking sour :(

I'm not sure I'd be able to protest too much when they announced the planet was going to be demolished to make way for a new intergalactic expressway.

Well, at least you won't have to listen to their poetry...

Why not screw up Time's poll? Let's take a page from Howard Stern and vote for Sanjaya.

Hmmm, are Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith on the list?

Well, at least you won't have to listen to their poetry...

One word: "Effulgent."

Opisthokont (#23), how amazing to see Rameau's name on Pharyngula. I'd love to see surveys like take longevity into account, and calculate their results accordingly. A J.S. Bach or a Rameau may never had had the spectacular short-term cultural impact of an Elvis or The Beatles, but three centuries of profound and pervasive influence on all Western music cannot be measured by a survey that is going to return little more than an index of name-recognition.

FWIW I'm rather fond of those "competing tonalities" ... for all the beauty and elegance of diatonic harmony and the rules of counterpoint that emerged from the Baroque era, there is no absolute right and wrong in music, and there are many, many beautiful arrangements of sound and silence that break every rule ever conceived.

Not the most flattering picture of Dawkins I've seen...

A theater here in Chicago has the following tagline on some of their advertisements: "Dane Cook sucks and you know it (Lakeshore Theater. Sometimes sold out. Never sells out)" This is the same place I saw Julia Sweeney's "Letting Go of God" recently. Good place!

Random fun fact: There are six people on the list with one word names that they made up for themselves: Bono, Rain, Benedict, Timbaland, Jay-Z, and Freshlyground (in order of importance).

Ya gotta love that the President of the United States is at 84! He's got a few more votes than Sanjaya (21,162 to 16,258), but Bush (the leader of the free world) is not nearly as influential.

It's a rather sad commentary on the current state of affairs when most people don't even know *who* the 100 Most Influential People really are, and come up with this bit of piffle instead.

(Although I must admit: I know enough about Paris Hilton to realize that PZ spelled her name wrong.)

By Turbonerd (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Dane Cook is a comedian. A very loud and spastic comedian. One of his jokes deals with how he hopes an atheist he once met is reincarnated (in a sense) as a tree which is then cut down to make paper for a Bible.

Oh, my aching sides. Laugh? I nearly did.

By Graham Douglas (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

That's the amazing thing, Turbonerd - he didn't spell it wrong. It really is Perez Hilton on the list, *infamous* for being formerly engaged to Paris Hilton, and from the way it played out the main reason for their engagement seemed to be that they thought it was cute that their names matched. He's a few degrees worse for celebrity than Paris, yet he made the list.

...and I am totally ashamed of myself for knowing that, by the way.

as you should be

Carlie, you can feel a little less ashamed.

Perez Hilton is the pseudonym of a celebrity tabloid blogger. It would be strange indeed if he were once engaged to Paris Hilton, as he is openly and trancendantly gay. Paris's ex-fiance is a Greek shipping heir who was also named Paris.

I noticed one omission. Where is John A. Davison on the list?

Also, Dane Cook is a joke, and not in a good way, in the comedian circles. I can't count how many times I've heard a comedian talk shit about him.

He's a hack.

the planet was going to be demolished to make way for a new intergalactic expressway.

Plans for the bypass have been filed at Gliese 581 exo-planet No.3 for the last 50 earth years. If you earthlings can't be bothered to venture outside your solar system there's no hope for you.

The Vogons.
(BBC Series "Hitch-hikers guide to the Galaxy")

By Peter Kemp (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

You know how some comedians are so unfunny that it's funny? This guy Dane Cook is so hilariously unfunny that it's not funny. It goes all the way around from unfunny, then funny, then horribly unfunny again, but the "funny" part actually never happens. It's lost somewhere in the 11th dimension.

What I want to know is what the hell happened to my "you" person of the year award? I am still expecting my check.

Also, nobody has bitched that they paint Dawkins as an "evolutionist"? Isn't it "evolutionary biologist" or sumthin'? As if one could be a non-evolutionist. (What's that? You can?)

Oh, thank goodness! I've never been so happy to be wrong about something. I don't know pop culture, really I don't!

That list is just depressing.

I'm ashamed I gave Dawkins 90 and not 100.

Is Torbjorn Larsson on the list?

Perez Hilton is a great, great man, and I would say very representative of many important American values. Not the Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman value, though.

By Anton Mates (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

At least Carlos Mencia isn't on the list.


Imagine that aliens visited our planet and asked for a meeting with the most influential people on earth...

Decades ago I read an SF short story based on this. The aliens explained that they gained some familiarity with conditions on Earth from monitoring television signals, and they wanted to meet with all the most important people together. Heads of state and other powerful people travelled to the place where the aliens had landed, and waited. And waited. When asked, the aliens said that the most influential person wasn't there yet. More people trickled in. The aliens still weren't ready to talk. Finally somebody asked who they were still waiting for; the answer was: Johnny Carson.

By Ted Powell (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

None of you will ever be on this list. You are all just text on a white page and in the big picture you are not even in the frame. You're all pretty sad.

By The Truth is... (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Haha, I didn't know Dane Cook read Pharyngula.

None of you will ever be on this list. You are all just text on a white page and in the big picture you are not even in the frame. You're all pretty sad.

Not sure what's sad about that. there's 100 on the list (and The Truth is... isn't one of them I might add). Theres upwards of 6.5 Billion people on the planet. The odds are definitely stacked against us. I'm keep chugging along and not worry one iota about it. And even so, look at some of the entries. I'm sure we could all compile a better list of 100 than that.

The list is depressing in many ways, but at least the voting is still open and Dawkins is on the list. I gave Dawkins 100 of course!

By Paguroidea (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Steve Jobs is on the list, so it can't be all bad.

Sorry, got to give my props to Dane. Makes me laugh. Thats what comedians are for, IMHO. Most influential, not quite, lets try, Arnold Schwartzenegger.

I think the people who created this list have no clue of what either "influential" or "of the year" means.

I've no problem with tabloid celebrities being on the least. If we are just looking at 2006/7 time period, a lot of influence was exuded by people like Angelina Jolie; wheras while Nelson Mandela is a significant influential figure in history - what exactly did he do this year?

My votes would be for people like Stephen Colbert; Angelina Jolie; Dawkins, most certainly very influential this year; Barrack Obama; Kim Jong Il; Timbaland; America Ferrera; Al Gore; and even *shudder* Paris Hilton.

Shigeru Miyamoto is #2, eh? I'm guessing that some Nintendo fans have caught wind of this poll.

Are you insinuating that he doesn't belong on the list at all...or that he doesn't belong at number 2? I'd have serious problems with both assertions, but at least you could mount a convincing argument for the latter.

Miyamoto has been one of the most influential people in the world for over 20 years. If you don't believe that living outside of Japan (which is crazy) then I beseech you to spend just one week here and tell me if you change your mind. More of my kids know who Mario is than George W. Bush. I guarantee it.

As dull many of those people on the list aren't at fault. I think these stupid lists say more of us, the public, and what kind of crap (and some non-crap) influences us.

I agree with Mr PZ. I don't think I could say anything to the Vogons in defense of our whole group, only to let me hitchhike with them on my way to Eroticon Six.

"Most important people" - hmmm, reminds me of the adress given by the visiting alien (Micheal Rennie?) in "The Day the Earth stood still."

Gort klaathu barada nikto!

By G. Tingey (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Mark, at comment #33:

As it happens Bono didn't make up the name Bono for himself. He was given the name by Gavin Friday of the Dublin art-punk band Virgin Prunes. (In full, "Bono Vox of Clarion Street" -- named after a hearing aid shop!)

Also this con, regarding Harry Potter author JK Rowling, is pretty funny:

"Rowling has faced a number of accusations that the magic in her books promote witchcraft and will lead children to the occult."

By Ricky Ponting (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Apart from Dawkins, there are two other scientists on the list: Albert Osterhaus (#61) and Svante Pääbo (#86).
Vote for them!

Another must promote: #142, Ahmed Aboutaleb.

Unrelated hero points awarded for hitchhikers reference.

Imagine that aliens visited our planet and asked for a meeting with the most influential people on earth, the people most representative of our values, and we sent along a delegation containing Perez Hilton, Kate Moss, Brad Pitt, and Dane Cook...
If that's not a movie yet, it will be soon.

SPACESHIP BRIDGE. INT. DAY.
FORD and ARTHUR are talking to the CAPTAIN who is still in his bath. Various other celebrities are hanging around the bridge not doing very much.
FORD: So what are you all doing out here?
CAPTAIN: Well, this is it. Apparently, our planet was about to be visited by aliens. Tremendously powerful aliens. I understand they looked like glowing blobs of light.
NUMBER ONE: Are you sure, sir? My agent showed me pictures and I thought they looked more like giant robots.
NUMBER TWO: Well, my personal assistant swore they were eight foot tall lizards! Huge, scaly creatures, in jewelled robes and crowns!
CAPTAIN: Anyway, they had sent a message demanding to meet our world's most important people for a series of high-level talks. And so we were all selected by a world-wide poll, you see, as being the most important, most influential, most newsworthy people in the entire planet, and we were all sent off in this spaceship -
NUMBER ONE: - The "A-List Ark" -
CAPTAIN: - to meet them and, hopefully, come to some sort of arrangement.
FORD: And did you bring anyone else?
CAPTAIN: What?
ARTHUR: Well, any political leaders. Linguists to interpret what the aliens were saying. Physicists to understand their science. Biologists to learn about life on the aliens' world. People like that.
CAPTAIN: Er, no. Well, we did ask about that -
NUMBER ONE: It did seem a bit odd, having an entire spaceship just full of supermodels, pop singers, sports stars, gossip writers, heiresses and soap actors -
CAPTAIN: But they all explained - and very nicely I thought - that we were the people they needed to make a good first impression on the aliens, and that the rest of them would be along later.
FORD: I see. And, er, what happened?
CAPTAIN: Sorry?
FORD: What happened when you met the aliens?
CAPTAIN: Ah, well, that's the funny thing, you see, because we haven't actually made contact with them yet. And we have been out here for - how long has it been, Number One?
NUMBER ONE: Eighty-seven years, sir.
CAPTAIN: Yes. But I'm sure we'll run into them at some point.

I vote for ajay for his hitchhiker spoof!