Pharyngula

We’ve finally found something crazy enough to make a Utah Republican to back away. One of their district chairmen, Don Larsen, has proposed an interesting resolution.

“In order for Satan to establish his ‘New World Order’ and destroy the freedom of all people as predicted in the Scriptures, he must first destroy the U.S.,” his resolution states. “The mostly quiet and unspectacular invasion of illegal immigrants does not focus the attention of the nations the way open warfare does, but is all the more insidious for its stealth and innocuousness.”

Whoa … he’s got Satan herding Mexicans across the border, a contention supported by Scripture, apparently (chapter and verse, please?)! To their credit, the Republican party seems to be a bit embarrassed by it all, but it still exposes this terrifying undercurrent of outright wacky theology that is lurking beneath us here.

(One thing I like about the SL Tribune site I linked above is that their comments have a reader scoring system, and the comments that try to endorse Larsen’s crazy rationale are getting lots of thumbs down. That’s somewhat reassuring — the literate sector of the culture is strongly against blaming Satan for social ills.)

Comments

  1. #1 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    April 27, 2007

    Satan herding Mexicans

    Well I’ve found the name of my new band.

    Not surprising this is coming out of Utah honestly. Besides the Mormon death grip on the state there are a number of crazy survival apocalyptic groups in the area up near Idaho and in the belly of the “fundamentalist mormon” camps.

    For such a beautiful state, it sure has it’s share of crazies (I guess they all do).

  2. #2 Albatrossity
    April 27, 2007

    Actually, thing about the SL Trib site that I have always enjoyed is found on the home page, where the heading “Utah News” includes tabs for five categories:

    Politics
    Polygamy
    Education
    Columns
    Photos

    It may be the only news source in the world where you can get a daily update on polygamy…

  3. #3 Smart_Cookie
    April 27, 2007

    Are you sure he meant Mexico? How do you know he doesn’t mean the illegal immigrants from Canada? *lol*

    We can be pretty devious when we need to. Just ask any Canuck if they’ve declared EVERYTHING when they cross the border, and watch their eyes turn all shifty.

  4. #4 CJColucci
    April 27, 2007

    And I’d always admired Don Larsen for throwing that perfect game in the ’56 Series. Maybe Sal Maglie should have beaned him.

  5. #5 Stuart Coleman
    April 27, 2007

    Man, that Satan guy is one sneaky bastard. I’d like to get some sneakiness lessons from him.

  6. #6 rrt
    April 27, 2007

    Hmm…obscure, but I can’t resist:

    “It eats you starting with your bottom.”

  7. #7 John Danley
    April 27, 2007

    Maybe that is why Satan likes jalapenos and habaneros? I get it now thanks to our district representative.

  8. #8 Hank Fox
    April 27, 2007

    Wait, I thought George Bush and REPUBLICANS were Satan’s tool for destroying America.

  9. #9 Bonzo
    April 27, 2007

    Another bit of news from Utah.

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3085803&page=1

    Satan again?

  10. #10 MikeM
    April 27, 2007

    Apparently, there’s a corollary to this. If you’re a thief but can recite the bible, judges will lower your bond.

    http://www.newsnet5.com/news/13098244/detail.html

    Huh. I’ll have to remember that, the next time I rob a bank. It’s good knowledge to have.

  11. #11 T_U_T
    April 27, 2007

    If there are really agents of the devil at work on this world, most of work as religious fundamentalists…

  12. #12 No1uno
    April 27, 2007

    Why was I not surprised to see that was in my hometown of Conservannati, the Salt Lake City of the Midwest in terms of outright religious/wingnuts. The Creationist Museum may not be within a days drive of 2/3’s of Americans, but it is easily within an hour’s drive of a surprisingly high percentage of America’s worst.

  13. #13 Greg Laden
    April 27, 2007

    “District 65 Chairman Don Larsen’s resolution”

    Probably a guy from Minnesota….

  14. #14 T_U_T
    April 27, 2007

    errata : most of them

  15. #15 dorid
    April 27, 2007

    shoot, I must have misread THIS. I thought it said help bring STAN to New Mexico…

    or maybe it was a misprint…

    are we really raising money to bring SATAN to New Mexico?

  16. #16 Blindpig
    April 27, 2007

    See, this proves Satan is a Republican, all that immigration equals cheap labor, and who wants to keep labor cheap?

  17. #17 BruceJ
    April 27, 2007

    LOL.

    Now if the judge REALLY wanted to test this guy’s bible knowledge he’d have asked him about The List. I hear it’s a short list of rules, less than a dozen, about what you’re not supposed to do.

    I’m pretty sure there’s something about stealing in there.

  18. #18 Whatever
    April 27, 2007

    I just watched Penn & Teller discuss the issue of immigration last night on their show Bullshit. I suggest you watch it they should be replaying it on showtime all week. I won’t rehash all the details, but my favorite skit was the one were the dynamic duo were dressed as Indians standing behind a wall which was being assaulted by europeans. They kept saying things like “this is our country” and “we have a sovereign right to this land”. Then of course the europeans break down the wall and proceed to immigrate into the Indian land, now known as America. I guess most people just don’t remember what is written on the statue of liberty.

    Oh yeah one last thing, according to the show there are 11 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, and that number increases by about 500k a year. Unemployment for the last ten years has hovered around 5%, so the idea that immigrants are taking our jobs is……whats the word I’m looking for……oh yeah.. BULLSHIT!

  19. #19 Sheldon
    April 27, 2007

    “but it still exposes this terrifying undercurrent of outright wacky theology that is lurking beneath us here.”

    It also exposes this wacky anti-immigrant sentiment, which is not an undercurrent. And why not go back to NAFTA which undermined Mexico’s rural economy and thus encouraging these waves of desperate people.

  20. #20 Ribozyme
    April 27, 2007

    All the territories in the American-Mexican border, the USA took from Mexico. So, Mexicans there is an invasion? You can check the story and the maps here and here.

    So a good chunk of the current USA was stolen from Mexico, and another big chunk from the Native Americans. Stealing and killing people so you can take their posessions, their land, is not considered Satanic by the Christian idiots spewing this bull**it?

  21. #21 Nix
    April 27, 2007

    `It eats you starting with your bottom’ is obscure? In this crowd?

    (So it’s the First Evil herding Mexicans across the border! It still sounds a bit too… non-evil, to me. Who knew Satan was so interested in encouraging full employment in California’s itinerant fruit-picking sector?)

  22. #22 rrt
    April 27, 2007

    Well, the First Evil also sends inept nerdly supervillains across the border. I imagine half of those immigrants are carrying concealed freeze rays…

  23. #23 Faith
    April 27, 2007

    “From beneath… it devours.”

  24. #24 Rugosa
    April 27, 2007

    I was about to say that nearly all Mexican immigrants are Catholic, and thus not in league with Satan, but remembered that to fundies and Normans, Catholic = Satan’s minions.

  25. #25 Neil
    April 27, 2007

    Seeing as how Texas was stolen from Mexico by ungrateful, slave-owning, theiving white IMMIGRANTS, and noticing that their main export (outside of oil) continues to be in that same vein (self-important, war mongering, far-right, inbred politicians)I would jump at the chance to sell-hell GIVE Texas right back to them. Just do me a favor and make sure that ZZ Top and the Butthole Surfers are safely in AZ or CA before you do!

  26. #26 One Eyed Jack
    April 27, 2007

    I’m with you on giving TX back to Mexico, Neil, but only if they take the Bush Reich with them.

    OEJ

  27. #27 Mick
    April 27, 2007

    Dios mio! No es bueno!

  28. #28 Ribozyme
    April 27, 2007

    Hey! The Bush Reich wasn’t in Texas when it was stolen, so it has to be given back without them. Besides, California, Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico also were stolen from Mexico in a pretend purchase.

  29. #29 dorid
    April 27, 2007

    Funny how no one heard of this Satan fellow around here until the white europeans started showing up… he must have come over with THEM.

  30. #30 Molkien
    April 27, 2007

    You can give Texas back, only as long as Austin stays.

  31. #31 Randy
    April 30, 2007

    This same story popped up on KOS last week: http://www.dailykos.com/comments/2007/4/26/151010/273/63#c63

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