Pharyngula

Ten things I hate about commandments

Can I just say that a remake of this movie with Samuel L. Jackson as the voice in the burning bush would be awesome?

Comments

  1. #1 Christian Burnham
    April 28, 2007

    I watched Snakes on a Plane solely because Samuel L Jackson is in it. Bad mistake. That movie was baaad.

  2. #2 Luis
    April 28, 2007

    This is going to be a really bad joke, but I can’t really resist it 🙂

    First commandment:
    “Thou shalt not worship any bad motherfucker god but me”

  3. #3 Zeno
    April 28, 2007

    So much more persuasive than the original.

  4. #5 Chris Clarke
    April 28, 2007

    “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking Garden of Eden!”

  5. #6 RedMolly
    April 28, 2007

    Chris Clarke: ow, the funny, it burns! My husband is going to wander in here and ask why I’m laughing instead of working on this article I’ve been breaking my skull over; thanks for getting me in trouble.

  6. #7 Teapot In Orbit
    April 28, 2007

    I think most of the old testament would be so much more entertaining if S.L.J. took a go at it. Just think of his quoting scripture in “Pulp Fiction.” We could even reunite him with Tarantino to see what Q.T. does with an ultra-violent source material.

  7. #8 Susan B.
    April 28, 2007

    I’d like to see them add a scene with the Top Ten Rejected Commandments. Any suggestions?

  8. #9 Dustin
    April 28, 2007

    That made me laugh, but “Must Love Jaws” made me laugh harder.

    This made me laugh harder still:

    I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking Garden of Eden!

    Really, I’m wiping tears from my eyes right now. That was too much funny for one day.

  9. #10 craig
    April 28, 2007

    I like the one for The Shining (“Shining”) best.

  10. #11 False Prophet
    April 28, 2007

    This is one of the first phoney movie trailers I saw on the web, and it’s still one of the best ones (the one recasting Mary Poppins as a horror film is also good).

  11. #12 Chakolate
    April 28, 2007

    Aw, shucks, it didn’t even use the very best part of the movie: Edward G Robinson in a dress. Bummer.

  12. #13 andyo
    April 28, 2007

    This is freaking hilarious. I wonder if they hired the actual movie trailer-voice guy.

  13. #14 Torbjörn Larsson
    April 28, 2007

    Before the comedy, there was “Big Brother”, starring everyday guys like Abraham and Noah.

    The followup will be an easy game show, “Ten reasons gods blow and commandments sucks”. The competitive element will be to avoid mentioning the many usual reasons.

  14. #15 Torbjörn Larsson
    April 28, 2007

    Before the comedy, there was “Big Brother”, starring everyday guys like Abraham and Noah.

    The followup will be an easy game show, “Ten reasons gods blow and commandments sucks”. The competitive element will be to avoid mentioning the many usual reasons.

  15. #16 Darwin Youth
    April 29, 2007

    What is so amusing about atheists, is that after telling me there is no God to tell me what to do…they start trying to tell me what to do!

  16. #17 Dustin
    April 29, 2007

    God I hope the troll food has been contaminated with melamine.

  17. #18 andyo
    April 29, 2007

    What you talkin’ ’bout, Darwin Youth?

    Did you post in the wrong infidel thread?

  18. #19 Dustin
    April 29, 2007

    Hmmm… no response. Clearly, he is dead from melamine induced kidney failure. This was either an answer to my prayers, or the result of GW firing 1,200 food inspectors at the beginning of his Presidency vacation.

    Halleluja! I’m not sure whether I should ask God to bless hands-off ultracapitalism or himself. I’ll just ask for a pony instead.

  19. #20 markbt73
    April 30, 2007

    “Aramaic, motherfucker. Do you speak it?”

  20. #21 Steve_C (Secular Elitist) FCD
    April 30, 2007

    Another Left Behind bites the dust. Or was he a Right Behind?

  21. #22 Keith Douglas
    April 30, 2007

    I don’t watch many popular movies, but I’d see that.

New comments have been temporarily disabled. Please check back soon.